From my perch on the couch, I watched him trim her nails. Never in her eight years on this earth did I recall him trimming baby girl’s nails. She was caught off-guard as well, looking at me occasionally as if to say, “Daddy isn’t doing this right…” or “What’s with the nail file?” And while I should have been grateful for his willingness to help, instead I was sad. Really sad, and I began to cry.
“I should be doing this, Billy. I always do this for her. You’re doing it wrong. I want to do this.”
He offered his apologies, understanding that there was something greater going on inside of me than just a compulsion for nail clipping. He knew that my mothering heartstrings were pulling hard and that his helpfulness was a direct reflection on just how little energy I have for the small things of life these days. That out of his great love for me, he wanted to spare me the details and allow me room enough to focus on the stuff that really matters. What he doesn’t understand is that nail-clipping really does matter to me; not because I’m an expert. Rarely have I acquiesced to a manicurist’s touch. No, my daughter’s nails matter to me because there are just some jobs that belong to me as her mother. Some things that I’ve always done… still need to do, because in doing them, I feel like I matter. Like I’m needed. Like I belong to something bigger than myself. Like my being here has purpose, even if that purpose seems small to others. Perhaps you understand.
We all need jobs that belong to us… need a focus and a reason to stir our hearts into action each day that we live on this earth. Without our attachments along these lines, we default to couch-livin’ and ample tears. We pass on the duties that are supposed to be ours rather than living out the responsibilities that are within our reaches and tethered closely to our hearts. God made our hearts for good work—for putting our hands to the plow and breaking up the unplowed earth beneath our feet. He understands that faith is best preserved when faith is liberally sown. Thus, he’s given each of us a job.
A similar job. We may travel all manners of terrain to get there, may institute a wide variety of regimens to accomplish our goals, but at the end of the day… at the end of this life, our life’s work really boils down to one, main objective.
To know God and then out of that knowing lead others to know the same. (I wrote about that here).
Accordingly, as I look to the New Year and as I have been reflecting on this one job that God has given me, several scriptures (with one overriding theme) have come into focus to serve as my anchor verses for the year. Read them to discover a common thread:
“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men….” (Matthew 5:14-16a).
“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20a).
“So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation… And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.” (2 Corinthians 5:16-20).
“Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. I have become its servant by the commission God game me to present to you the word of God in its fullness.” (Colossians 2:24-25).
And finally,
“So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” (1 Corinthians 4:1-2).
Entrusted.
My “word” and my focus for 2011; not just with any task, but with the high and holy task of telling others the reason behind the hope that I hold in my heart. A weighty assignment for certain, but one that is required of me because of my status as a daughter of the King. I hold a great Truth inside of me. Sharing about Him isn’t an option for any believer. We think that it sometimes is… that sometimes we get a pass because we didn’t go to seminary and get the professional degree or receive official ordination from a committee. But kingdom work of this kind belongs to all of us. It’s simply time for me to get a bit more serious about it all. Wouldn’t you agree?
As I reflect back to my anchor verses for 2010(1 Cor. 6:19-20), I had no idea at the time of my selecting them just exactly what would be required of me to honor them. My body… a temple of the Holy Spirit? Honoring God with my body because I was bought at a price—the very blood of God’s own Son? Have mercy, I imagine it a good thing I didn’t fully grasp the breadth and depth of what that would mean for me on the front side of 2010. It’s only now, standing on the backside of an almost indescribable year of suffering faith that I’m even able to hold a bit of insight along these lines. I imagine I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make the puzzle pieces fit together neatly, but I am confident that they will… fit. One day… on the backside of my earthly tenure.
Until then, I’m going to be busy with God’s business… with the sacred trust that’s been entrusted to me. No more couch livin’ and ample tears because I’ve handed off the responsibility to someone else. Instead, the clippers are in my hands for the trimming. For the mattering. For the needing. For the belonging to something… Someone bigger than myself. For the only purpose that truly matters on the front side of my living this thing out—
to know God and then out of that knowing, lead others to know the same.
Therefore, I no longer regard anyone from a worldly point of view. I view them from God’s point of view and that, my friends, is a rich perspective from which to anchor a year’s view.
Entrusted. Oh God keep me faithful to the truth I’ve been given. Keep my brothers and sisters as well. As always…
Peace for the journey,
Oh Elaine, there is so much I would love to share in response to this beautiful post but I am only able to get out this…you feel as if you have forfeited a 'job' due to illness while I have lost my calling due to death…this year holds many challenges and changes for us both…so thankful that the Lord has spoken hope to you…I however, am yet waiting!!!
This touched me so much. Beautiful, and what a powerful word. Praying for you, and for the VERY same perspective for myself.
It amazes me that God can speak even through the clipping of your daughter's nails – now done by your husband in this season of your life… and Pastor Billy is so right. It was not just the nail clipping per se that brought tears to your eyes… but God was touching on something deeper.
And so this post.
I really have to thank you. Those verses in 1 Cor. 4:1-2 touched my life many years ago, but you have brought them back to life. It is about stewardship… being trustworthy to be a keeper of the mysteries of God.
You are proving to be a trustworthy keeper of the secret things of God.
Praying God will continue to strengthen you in your journey. Be a beacon shining in the darkness.
(That is a beautiful bracelet to have… a fitting reminder of your job description for this season!)
Love
Lidj
Love your word for this year — entrusted. So full of meaning. And thanks for the reminder to view everyone from God's point of view. I needed that.
Hope your energy level gets better soon. I pray for all the best for you in 2011!
What a raw realization, followed by a refined and beautiful revelation.
The word, it's power and it's supporting verses pack a whallop. Your "take" is equally so.
May we all take so seriously that which is entrusted to we who bear His name.
Love your heart!
Kathleen
Beautiful as always Elaine. I understand completely what you are saying. There are just some things Moms are suppose to do. I love doing all of them. Not that I do them better but just the fact that "I" am doing them. Blessings to you my friend for 2011! You are Gods Angel!
Isn't it wonderful that God uses the simplest of things to speak volumes to our hearts.
Entrusted….I think none of us really realize the magnitude of what God has entrusted to us as His hands and feet here on this earth. I pray that I will be faithful to do as He desires.
My word for 2011 is Grace….specifically showing and offering more grace to others.
Blessings to you, Elaine!
Leah
I want you to know that following your blog has helped me to realize how sadly lacking my faith has been, and in the face of trials, I wasn't spiritually where I needed to be. Seeing you face your diagnosis and treatment with such a reliance on the Lord, has truly convicted my heart and helped me get back on track. Thank you, and God bless you this year as you continue to do a work for the Lord.
"To know God and then out of that knowing lead others to know" those are the exact words I recently used to testify to what the Lord has given me to do. I love your word "entrusted"…certainly a word to ponder. Our God entrusts us with everything from joy to pain with a purpose.
My heart grieve for your small losses in this season of motherhood. I will not take clipping my sons' nails and the other small tasks of motherhood for granted. "Teach us to number our days, O Lord, that we may gain a heart of wisdom"…keeping a heavenly prspective guards us of taking such things for granted. I am praying for you, dear sweet Elaine! May the Lord bring healing and strength to your body this year, my friend!
Oh friend, I loved this.
Prayers for continued healing, but also for the spiritual lessons He has entrusted you with along the way. You are a blessing.
Your witness is strong and clear!
God's Spirit encourages so many through your voice. I pray for His choice blessings for you and your family this year…for His Healing touch and continued revelation of His Love.
The word that comes to mind for me in 2011 is "Sealed."
Love in the Lamb~ Jess
Elaine I have been on bed rest now for four days into what is a 7-10 period prescribed by my Dr. Even before going to the Dr. I was in so much pain I could not tend to the "things" that are my job. It's hard to be in that position, yet we have to entrust, turn-over, let go and let God as the saying goes.
I know why nail clipping is important. It's that close contact, the touching of each tiny finger growing close to the length of mine, and the little chit chat that comes with it.
God has called you worthy to walk this road, entrusting you with this thing called cancer, because He knew….He knew that His Word would go forth from you. You are a token of his grace and His love and a mouthpiece of His righteousness.
Thank you for alway taking us deeper to the heart of God.
Praying your strength is being renewed day by day.
What wonderful, wise words, Elaine! Often in the past I've gone to see someone hurting in hopes of helping them in some way. Being an encouragement or a "blessing." More often I've come away being the one encouraged, the "blessee" instead of the "Blesser." Like Billy, I'd have let you clip her fingernails and toenails. On an almost daily basis I find myself sending a message to the Father with your name written on it. You have touched and enriched my life, and we don't even know each other! donkimrey
"To know Him and make Him known" is the encouragement and "byline" if you will, of our church. It is our purpose and His plan.
Love the word "entrusted". It is such a privilege to be chosen as one who is trusted with the care of something or someone. I think of all the daily things that God has entrusted to me, that I have viewed as demands instead of delights. Elaine, thank you for showing me the joy of the bestowment of the blessings of what I have considered mundane.
Sometimes the Lord entrusts us with joys that overwhelm, but other times He entrusts us with difficulties…situations and circumstances we would rather not be so "privileged" to receive, but there is great purpose in accepting them…and in acceptance comes peace.
Wondering what the Lord will entrust to me today as I hear back from my Dr's office. All results from the biopsy's and internal ultrasounds should be in. Finally surrendering to "not my will, but Thine be done".
Thank you Elaine for filling my heart with His Word again,
Love ya,
Joy
This spoke to my heart and seems to be a running theme in the 3 short days of 2011.
Love to you sweet friend.
Thank you so much for sharing your life.
I'm continually praying for you.
Sheryl
You truly have such a gift to spill your heart in such beautiful and eloquent words.
My word(s) for 2011 are peace and abide. I've never had two words or themes but I simply know this to be true, and I also realize that you totally understand that.
You are a beautiful woman, Elaine!
Yes, LORD, amen!
I'm also touched by your post. My trial isn't exactly the same as yours but I'm dealing with similar thoughts. Praying for you, always.
Yet another poignant and eloquent perspective from you Elaine.
I've been in the position your husband is twice now, once with my Mother during her battle with cancer, and again with my wife Shannon when she was dealing with a spinal fusion. I saw the frustration over and over, and I knew it hurt almost as much as the conditions they were fighting.
You are an amazing lady, with a light that shines brightly with God's radiance to all those near you. I gain so much from your posts, and your "fellowship", and just want you to know that you're certainly accomplishing sharing the Truth that God has Entrusted to you.
Thank you, God Bless you and take care.
Oh Elaine! You are beautiful, do you know that? Your post was such an encouragement to me. You have been through so much and are battling so much right now and yet, your faith shines like a beacon on a hill! You ARE a light that is being seen by so many…including me. Thank you, Elaine for sharing your thoughts, your struggles and your triumphs. Your journey is making a difference for His kingdom. I know I'm being redundant, but thank you. You see, there are lot's of things going on in my life which, without my faith in God, would tumble me. But, your faith is strengthening mine.
I'm praying for you!
Living for Him, Joan
As God often does with something He wants reinforced with me, I've heard these words twice today. 🙂 I hope I'm listening! blessings, marlene
Such a beautiful post! I know it had to be heart-breaking to see Billy doing what you had always done–even though he was doing it in love.
You have been an inspiration, and once again, right on the mark, that we must be ambassadors of what has been entrusted to us. A great word for 2011.
I love it when you get a hold of a word or phrase! 'Entrusted'… is given new meaning here tonight, and even while you are feeling it, the word and the weight of it are for each of us. Thank you once more for sharing and being faithful to what God has entrusted to you. You bless me every time!
Elaine! It has been a while since I have had a chance to visit. I think about you often. "Entrusted" is such a great word for the year. Thanks for all the times you have used words "entrusted" to you by God for a girl "entrusted" to your words. I'm praying for you tonight that God wraps His sweet arms around you with precious words of love and peace.
I know that YOU know this….but I had to think of these words as I read your poignant post…May He keep you (and me) faithful. He who CALLED you WILL do it!
We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace
Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives
CHORUS:
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
wifeforthejourney:
How faithfully and graciously have you handled what the Lord has entrusted to you. You have always had such a sensitivity and perception when dealing with others – especially me and our children. We continue to enjoy the benefits of your godly example and longsuffering in this season of life. What a gift God has given us, to be able to see everyday how you are ever on the look-out for where God is at work in the world around you.
Of all the things that come to mind for me this morning, I am again impressed at how you are one who truely keeps and treasures the holiness of God.
For those that are watching, its easy to see that you have been and always will be the best thing "Preacher Billy" has going for him!
Love you,
Billy
I've been following you for quite some time now and I've been praying for you dear sister.
Amidst your journey…you continue to encourage and inspire me during tough times as well as the beautiful ones.
You are such a blessing from God.
Peace,
Alleluiabelle
I understand. It's the same reason I wanted to wash my son's body for the very last time. My last act of mothering Andrew. Still makes me cry. But I'm glad I did it.
Elaine – how I wish I could just get my arms around you right now! Yes, I totally get what you are saying… reminding me of when I was so sick that I was unable to tuck my son into bed. Thanking God that it was a short season… and how precious small things are.
Thank you for always and I mean ALWAYS encouraging me to be more concerned about kingdom outcomes than what others think of me… being more concerned about what I think of HIM.
Love you!
The tenderness I feel from this post is so tangible, Elaine. I feel the way He is molding you through these painful experiences. Your heart just shines and shines, lady. You are entrusted with much. And you are trustworthy.
I praise the LORD that I live in such an age as this that via the internet I can learn from you. I praise Him that I 'happened' upon Peace for the Journey one day and that when you write and I read, He speaks!
Love and hugs-
Kathie
Phil said: "You are an amazing lady, with a light that shines brightly with God's radiance to all those near you. I gain so much from your posts, and your "fellowship", and just want you to know that you're certainly accomplishing sharing the Truth that God has Entrusted to you."
Amen!!
Kathie
Weeping like a baby, I am moved beyond imagination. What a powerful word from the Lord Himself. Love you so, Elaine, and will continue to pray for His peace on your journey.
amen, amen. sometimes i think many of us think of evangelizing and sharing Jesus with others is something extra we might do. like extra credit. but we are (urgently) called to it, entrusted with the mission to make Him known. thank you for this challenge and this reminder. thank you for faithfully preaching Jesus and Him alone on this blog.
you are in my heart and in my prayers, sweet friend.
Billy sounds like a great guy….and this is written so beautiful.
How did I miss this post?!?!? Needless to say, I am now subscribed to these post by e-mail. That is such a beautiful word for you in this journey and in your ministry you have been called to. So fitting!! My word is "intentional"…describes my walk and my heart.
You amaze me and inspire me. I continue to pray for you daily my friend.
Believing Him~Pamela