“I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go . . .” a quote spoke by Abraham Lincoln as the Civil War waged on during his presidency. Spoken further . . . “My own wisdom and that of all about me was insufficient for that day.”
I read the quote while visiting Marsha’s blog and watching this video. On Saturday morning, the postman delivered this package from Kathy. Inside?
It now hangs in my bedroom so that it cannot be missed with my “lying down for the night” and my “rising up for the day.” A reminder of the power and privilege that is mine as God’s child. That my convictions—those soul-stirrings that refuse release—belong to my knees and that surely, like Lincoln, “my own wisdom and all of that about me is insufficient for this day.”
Today, I find my knees, because no matter the places I’ve tried to put my trust—find my anchor and hold my ground—they’ve all fallen short and not brought about the peace I desire. Today, I need to talk to Jesus about some things. Things not easily resolved with my “riding in the van” or “taking a walk” kinds of prayers. Not “over the dishes” or “putting away clothes” kinds of prayers. No, these things require a bit more deliberation. These issues I’m staring at full force on need the benefit of knees and worn carpet and an intentional posture in my heart before the Lord.
I imagine you’ve had a few moments like this in your own journey with Jesus—times when you needed to pour out your tears, worries, and fears before him in a safe place. Times free of distractions when the only noises around you are the whispers of Eden . . . the promptings of grace. Times when the “war” going on around you and inside of you is an assault to your faith and only by stepping back and kneeling down can you gain proper perspective—God’s perspective.
Are you willing to live that kind of prayer life, a knee-bending, wear out the carpet kind of prayer life? Are your prayers in response to the truth that you have no where else to go . . . that your own wisdom and all of that about you is insufficient for the task at hand? Or, are your prayers simply added as a postscript to human effort and manipulation?
I don’t want to reserve my knees for special seasons of extraordinary struggle. Instead, I want to default to their bending on every occasion . . . a prayer posture that doesn’t wait for disaster to strike but rather, a prayer posture that is willing to bend the knee in all of life’s matters, whether large and intrusive or small and slightly irritating. Left to my own configuring, I remain as I am—sacred, hostile, manipulative, and worried. On my knees and before the Father, I live higher. I find peace and perspective . . . less of a need to control and better able to concede my will to God’s.
There’s a deep insufficiency within me to handle all of life and its rude interruptions. There’s a deep sufficiency in Christ, more so, to cover them all.
For this day and for the next, and for however many remain in this earthly pilgrimage, may the overwhelming conviction of our hearts remind us that we have only one place to go to find our peace for the journey. To our knees, before our King. He deserves nothing less. Even so, bring your heart before his throne today. As always . . .
Peace for the journey,
