My hair. Beginning seeds have begun their sprouting, and I can’t decide if I’m going to be completely gray at forty-four or will continue with a patchy mix of various shades. While barely visible to others, I feel my hair there… soft and tender and just enough of a reminder to me that life is springing forth from a recent hollowed-out landscape. A beautiful gift of unraveling grace in this season of rebirth. A visible reminder to me that spring follows winter, that blooms follow a planting, and that with time, a full garden of full growth will be evident for all the world to witness.
With full growth comes closer tending. In days to come, I will seek out a new stylist for the job. I haven’t needed one since moving here last June. A bald head doesn’t require much attention. Whereas other women are spending lots of time and money on their tresses each day, I simply pull out the box beneath my bed and pick out a turban/scarf that matches the clothes I’m wearing. I have Darlene to thank for them. I suppose, in a different sort of way, she’s been my stylist in this season—a woman committed to meeting the “hair” needs of cancer patients.
She owns two shops within an hour’s drive of my home, each of them filled with enough wigs, scarves, hats, and ribbon wear to stylishly outfit a naked head. Even more so, Darlene stocks a heart filled with compassion and understanding for the patrons of her wares. Her customer service doesn’t stop at the cash register. Her ministry extends beyond dollars and cents to include follow-up phone calls and conversations, assuring the patron that she is not alone in her fight against cancer. It may seem a simple thing to some, but to me Darlene is a living, breathing extension of God’s grace and love. She’s doing her part to add vibrancy and color to the canvas named cancer, and I feel so honored to be a recipient of her careful concern.
Darlene is the reason I loaded a few books into my ten-year-old mini-van last evening and traveled to her shop to speak to a group of cancer survivors. She’s been asking me for a while now… to come a give a word or two about my story and about my Peace for the journey. I wasn’t sure what I could offer them in the way of encouragement; after all, most of them have been on this cancer road longer than me and could offer a few pointers as it pertains to living this cancer through to victory. Still and yet, I remembered my bracelet and my word for the year, and I went… entrusted by God with the truth.
And so it unfolded—an evening of fellowship, food, and truth-telling amidst the sacred circle of survivors. I was honored to sit amongst them… to hear their laughter, to receive their acceptance, and to see the resiliency in their eyes as they spoke a bit of their stories to me. In turn, I spoke a bit of my story to them; I don’t remember much of what I said, but I do know that the name of Jesus was spoken, and once he took the stage, I quickly came to realize that his name resonated with them as well. One by one, they offered their take on faith, and without exception all acknowledged their deep dependency on God as they battled through their cancer.
Indeed, I was in good company last evening. A garden of spring blooms. Sweet sisters in Christ, valiant and strong and a lovely reminder of all that can go right with cancer… all the splendor that can spring forth in abundance after a long, wintering season of silence. Now, as a cancer survivor myself, my flower gets added to the bouquet… one stem mingled amongst many to serve as a living reminder that God, Creator Universal, delights in painting blossoms into the bleakest of seasons.
Not long ago, I wrote these words…
Cancer will not be my undoing; rather cancer will be the threshold of my emerging. After last evening’s fellowship with survivors and because of the now sprouting tendrils that blanket my scalp, I’m closer to believing that statement more fully. Sometimes it takes a season’s worth of struggle to anchor firm belief. I’m six months into that struggle, friends, and my faith roots grow deeper every day. I don’t know how the subsequent pages of my story will read; I wouldn’t dare take a peek. But this I do know…
The faith-building that I’m doing today will better prepare me for the chapters that remain. I cannot control tomorrow’s unfolding, but I can, this day, better prepare my heart for its arrival. Accordingly, I tend to the garden of my heart, caring for the seeds already sown and watering them with the truth of God’s timely and gentle Word. The once hollowed-out landscape is ripe with the reminders of spring.
Resurrection blooms… headed my way and on display for all the world to see. Thanks be to God for the marvelous gift of his sustaining grace. As always…
Peace for the journey
God is FAITHFUL! Thanks for sharing and for letting Him grow your deep faith roots. Love you and praying.
What a deep deep message here Elaine! Prayed for you yesterday. So happy that you are feeling well enough to take this step in going and sharing again. I know you were a trememdous blessing.
Sweet picture of your new hair!! Wish I had the ability to put into words what I want to say but feel so limited today!
Love you Elaine!
Elaine, rejoicing in the hope of spring time with you. Oh, how your journey ministers to me. Love this today especially:
Sometimes it takes a season’s worth of struggle to anchor firm belief.
How I know that to be true as well. Love you, my sis.
Darlene sounds like one of God's sweetest angels on earth. Your courage continues to amaze and bless me and gives me hope for my own unfolding days, whatever they may bring. Spring WILL follow winter. "I went, entrusted by God with the truth" ~~ those are the words that speak to me today Elaine. They are profound, and I intend to remember them! God's peace always…
What a ministry Darlene has – and how encouraging to hear how our Jesus worked last night. You always bless me, dear Elaine. Always. Still praying.
Praise God for His faithfulness!! I love how you wrote, "Sometimes it takes a season’s worth of struggle to anchor firm belief." Yes, that is so true, Elaine! I am so thankful that along the way, during each season in our lives. God is with us to carry us through. He is always teaching, always loving…always faithful.
Thank you for yet another encouraging post!
Blessings to you! Joan
This as always soo blessed me. I love what you say here…"
The faith-building that I’m doing today will better prepare me for the chapters that remain. I cannot control tomorrow’s unfolding, but I can, this day, better prepare my heart for its arrival." This is just what I have been trying to say to my mother who is struggling with soo much right now. My stepday has lung cancer and was given 4 months to live 2 and half years ago! He is 86….the cancer is growing very slowly but things are beginning to change and my mom is soo scared and projecting ahead (as we all do) and I just keep telling her to rest in what is now and prepare her heart for what lies ahead with the building of her faith. Thanks for sharing all of this. YAY on the hair!! Praying for you as always, HUGS
What a beautiful, fuzzy head!
I knew the words would flow again from your heart to so your pen! Thank you for sharing your beautiful evening with all of us… it was an honor to lift you and your group in prayer yesterday!
Hugs,
K
It's always so refreshing to stop ny and visit with you!
I've been busy with kids and a sick family, so haven't been blogging much. I love the picture of your new hair! My husband is starting to sprout hair too….he's recently joined a fund raising challenge, 'Beards Battling Cancer'
Marilyn in Mississippi said it!!
'Wish I had the ability to put into words what I want to say but feel so limited today!'
When my neice's hair grew back it was more beautiful than ever! The texture and the color she so loved (loves). She's been cancer free 10 years now!!
Love and holy hugs,
Kathie
You are in the 'next'. A friend is texting me about growing now as I type this. Isn't God funny! He knows I am reading your post. He is with us Elaine. He is growing all of us. I know your sharing blessed those women. Love seeing your head of hair. Get ready to shell out the bucks soon for a haircut! Yesterday my stylist now known as my former stylist turned my hair orange. I kid you not. B
So thankful that spring always follows winter. Always.
Thanks as always, Elaine, for sharing the steps of your journey with us. It's gonna be fun to watch your new hairdos take shape! 🙂
Blessings this week, my friend!
tender tresses…sweet blessings to you, and especially Darlene in her love of sisters
That has to be so encouraging to see the hair start to grow again! I'm continuing to pray for you to gain strength as the effects of chemo leave your body.
I'm so glad your evening went well. What a blessing to be with one another , encouraging and supporting each other.
Your posts always speak to me, usually getting right to the core of an area of my life where I need growth. Today has been no exception.
Love you, sweet friend.
Elaine, You write from the recesses of your heart and I see nothing but beautiful blooms. For that, I thank You and I thank God for you. You bless me. I appreciate the sweet new growth on your head. You are beautiful. I love you, sis. Tiff
I know from my dear friend's battle with cancer that there are wonderful 'hair' milestones. First shampoo, first brushing, first styling, etc. You have lots of wonderful 'firsts' ahead of you Elaine.
I know that you blessed those precious ladies so last night.
Blessings to you.
Leah
wifeforthejourney:
What a privilege it was to be the "invisible man" hidden on the far end of Darlene's shop during your small group meeting. Not wanting to intrude, I welcomed the chance to sit out of clear view, and listen to a hallowed bit of Gospel fueled survivor-wisdom. It was a beautiful thing to witness, even from a distance.
As you and others have taken notice, there is more emerging in you than just hair. For all that you have endured, all that remains for you to struggle with, there is a reward that God is growing in you. I am humbled at seeing how what I regarded as nothing but disaster, God began using almost immediately. It has been your obedience that has made a way for the Lord to bring something good out of this harshest of seasons.
Thanks for allowing me (and the rest of your readers) to walk this road with you!
Love,
Billy
There you are:)) Your words again:)
I'm sitting here smiling…that's all I know to say my friend!
"circle of survivors" God is using you. Every single sprouted fuzzy hair on top of your head. He knows how many and where they will go.
Hello, sweet friend. These spring blooms make me smile. So soft, like new down! You–all of the yous in your group–are beautiful! And your Darlene is too.
Spring is just right around the corner.
love to you, lady.
Elaine, I know you expressed concern in your last blog about writing things worth the read. Trust me, you have not lost your gift. I know you were a blessing to those you visited with. And I'm so happy about your hair. Who knows, you may even be a blonde now! Still praying for you and your family. Hope to see you soon.
At a loss for words…Just {{HUGS}} your way in grateful thanks for your sharing!
oh I am so thrilled for the new 'sprouts'! I remember our dil when she had Hodgkin's and her hair began to come back in… it was so exciting! btw… her hair, always thick, is thicker and curlier than ever!! Lots of good things ahead for you Elaine, from the heart to the hair!! 🙂
LOVE this picture!!
I sit here with many emotions…truly at a loss for words. You always speak to my heart…I love how God is using you even in this season of your life..and love your new hair! How sweet! I love your strength!! You are truly a blessing to all!!
~Beth
Oh Elaine!! You are so amazing!! Love the pic of the new hair!!
Thank you sooooo much for coming and sharing a part of "you" with us at Lovely Lady support group. It was a great time and I do believe God was glorified in all that was said. God Bless you as you continue on the journey with much peace…..
Once again Elaine, I can see God's Light shining through you. Just as He used your cancer to further hone and strengthen your faith, He's using you to bring that miracle of hope and love to others as well.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey, your light and your words with us.
Have a Blessed Day!
P.S. I've chosen your site as one to bestow the "The Stylish Blogger Award" on. The information for the award is on my posting today. 🙂
Sounds like spring has come early for you!! What a beautiful servant of God you are and not to sound like a broken record…you so encourage me!!
Believing Him~Pamela
your words bloom in my heart, love you beautiful friend.
"Sometimes it takes season’s worth of struggle to anchor firm belief," you say.
I say, "Sometimes it takes YEARS! I am a slow learner. Count yourself blessed to have come to =anchored firm belief' in 6 months!"
Thanking God for every little hair that sprouts on your head and for all that they represent and promise.
Rejoicing with you in this season of healing and growth, dear Elaine.
You have so much life inside of you, there is no way that it can be kept in, reined in, or bridled in… life has to burst out sooner or later.
And that life spills over to all of us who have been your walk fellows in the sacred journey you are on.
Keeping you close,
Lidj
Conviction hit be right between the eyes…"tending to the garden of my heart."
Oh, how I need to be more diligent to do this very thing!
Blessings sweet friend…I celebrate the tendrils GOD is growing.
Love in the Lamb~
Oh my dear Elaine,
I am truly blessed by your humble – gracious – tender heart strings. God is so tender with us, isn't He? I always see the face of JESUS reflected in your smile. 🙂 His light isn't flickering – it's a steady glow in you –
Spring is definitely coming…I see those new seeds taking root!
Blessings dear one –
hugs,
patrina <")>><
He's coming for His PURE BRIDE! You are beautiful!
Choosing JOY in this season,
Stephanie
your faith is beautiful and your hair is just precious! what a sweet reminder of new life!! praying for you!
Your precious picture – your lovely little head and hair. I was so touched by this, Elaine.
There are so many great things that you have said in this post – you always touch me with your honest vulnerability, and the blazing truth you proclaim.
Tending to my garden, too – waiting for new seeds of faith to sprout and grow.
GOD BLESS!
Love the way you express words that are so meaningful. We don't all have that talent. I love your sweet spirit and I do see your new sprouts of hair. Also your faith. Blessings on you, dear friend. I do pray for you. You are such a blessing to me.
Beautiful words from a beautiful woman! You are such an encourager, Elaine. From the depths of my heart, thank you for your honesty and love.
Prayers and blessings,
Rebecca
Dear Elaine – thinking of your word "entrusted" and how it relates to your story and life… and mine, too. Praying that each day is full of grace and growth. Praying for his mercies that are new every morning.
Love to you today and always!
I simply thank God for the chance to "know" you here in blogland. You inspire, you encourage, and you touch me deeply. Your openness & delicious writing (yes, delicious – b/c I savor every word!) hold me in a warm embrace. I adore the person God made in you, dear Elaine! Hugs & love ~ Merana
Love the new growth, sweet friend….all the beautiful petals adorning the flower of you! And what a sweet fragrance you are to many, including me.
So glad that your talk went well and that God surrounded you with so many who are walking the same road.
Continuing to pray….
Much love,
Stacy
"Emerging" for sure! That pretty, peachy fuzz makes me think of my youngest son. As his little bald head began showing signs of hair, I found myself kissing his little head more-and-more.
Kissing yours today; and rejoicing at these VERY visible signs – evidence – of new life.
Kathleen
I've recently found your site and have been busily catching up. While I haven't commented yet I feel the need to do so tonight.
Your courage and strength leave me breathless and struggling for words. But I am here, cheering you on, praying like crazy and loving, absolutely loving your beautiful head!!
take care dear one..;j