This morning my heart is heavy. I didn’t sleep much. Heaviness of heart seems to serve as fertile ground for sleeplessness. Such was the case for me last evening. Instead of awakening to the freshness of a new day, today I awoke to my tears and my husband’s arms around me assuring me of his love that will endure despite the chaos going on around us.
I also awoke to something else this morning.
The picture above. This morning’s sunrise over the Sea of Galilee. My friend, Stephanie, sent this picture via her phone to a few of us who have been praying for her during her missionary travels in Israel. Her words that accompanied this picture (as if any would be needed to add to its beauty)…
“I’m having fish for lunch today along the shores of Galilee after we take a boat ride there! I’ll be sure to get out of the boat when I see Jesus walking on the water! Tell Elaine this one’s for her! Shalom…Stephanie”
Shalom, indeed. A little piece of “peace” for the journey when peace is needed the most. And so, with Stephanie’s prompt ringing in my ears and the words of my “breakfast on the beach” series freshly racing through my mind, I once again turned to John 21 this morning and re-read the familiar story I’ve spent a great deal of time studying in recent days. This time, my focus fixed on verses 18 & 19:
“I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me.” (John 21:18-19)
When was the last time you heard a similar “truth” from Jesus? When did he last remind you that on your odyssey of faith there will be times when you will be called upon to travel to places of his expectation rather than yours? When did you last feel the weightiness of your kingdom conferment as it pertains to your place of service? When did what “God wanted you to do” serve as the catalyst to your wrestling out a few things before him on the floor mat of heaven?
I imagine we all have a moment of vivid recall along these lines. We don’t travel very far with God before coming to a crossroads where the path of our choosing contradicts with the one he’s chosen instead. When we arrive there, we have a choice to make…
Follow him; follow not.
I’m there, friends. Today is my “follow him” moment. God has opened up the kingdom closet this morning and is asking me to dress myself with a plan that I wasn’t prepared to wear. He’s stripped me of my previous expectations and has presented me with his instead. To be honest with you, it’s not a comfortable fit for me… not yet. You see, I’m not a big fan of trying on a new set of clothes. I much prefer the ones that are currently hanging in my closet and lining my dresser drawers. At least with them, I know what to expect. With this new set, I’m not sure I like what I see. Rather than experiencing the warmth and familiarity of my “comfortable,” God is asking me to trade it all in for a new set of clothes that initially feels foreign and stiff.
My mind tells me that with time, the “new” will soon wear like the “old,” but my heart momentarily tells me something else… that I can’t do this. That this is too much. That this is going to be an uphill battle from the get go and that no matter which way I (or anyone else) tries to “spin” this, it’s still going to be a difficult fit for me. What I imagined and expected would be my next best steps are now being detoured along a path that had, previously, never been on my radar.
Still and yet, the path is clear, and like Peter, my heart is concerned, heavy-laden, and full of a few questions… not just for the clothes that I’m being asked to wear, but also for the clothes that my brother and sister are being given to wear as well.
“Lord, what about them?” Are you asking them for a similar obedience? Why is it that their dressing doesn’t look like mine? Comparatively speaking, it doesn’t seem fair, Lord. Why am I being asked to navigate these strange waters when it seems they’ve been given smooth sailing? Why does “following after you” live differently for those of us who are called according to only one, high and holy purpose? Why does it seem that my expectations rarely measure out in accordance with yours? Am I not listening closely enough? Living faithfully enough? Praying fervently enough? I thought I knew how this was going to go, Lord; it’s apparent that I don’t… know as much as I thought that I did. Forgive me for asking, Father, but what about them?
And for all of the questions that I could ask of God this day, for all of the chaos that’s been interjected into my life in the past twenty-four hours, Christ’s response to me this morning is the same as the one he gave to Peter on the shores of Galilee nearly 2000 years ago:
“What is that to you, Elaine? You must follow me.”
Follow me. Don’t concern yourself with your brother’s portion. Concern yourself with me and all will “feel” right in due season. All is right in this season, but all will “feel” right very soon. The “new” will fit like the “old” and the path that wasn’t previously on your radar will write as perfect history—your history, Elaine. Our history—yours and mine. Follow hard after me, child, and see if I cannot be trusted with the outcome. I have called you. I am faithful. I will do it. Now, follow me.
Breakfast on the beach with Jesus, again. Thank you, Stephanie, for taking me there. Thank you, Jesus, for meeting me there. I hear the waters lapping against the shore; I smell the fire burning in the distance; I see Christ’s arms beckoning me forward to receive the food that he’s prepared for my consumption. It’s not been an easy swallow… this eating from the Lord’s fire this morning, but it’s been good for me and will be my strengthened understanding for the path that lies ahead. How grateful I am for a faith that sustains me through the night and that brings me into the glorious light of a new day! As always…
peace for the journey,
~elaine
Copyright © April 2010 – Elaine Olsen
August 29, 2007. That's when it happened to me. I don't like the clothing either, but it's fitting a little bit better than that first year.
My heart hears yours and hurts with yours. But again, you've managed to touch me and assure me that I'm not alone on a journey with God and that all I need to do is follow.
I have no words but a heart wrapping itself around you.
God has a new harvest for you. And, in my heart, I know the challenges are going to be worth all the risks. And, yes, you will know His sweet peace in His own time.
Words that are now a hard swallow will become easier to chew. You know it's really hard to eat when your so full. Don't worry, friend. His ways have been perfected before He ever called you to His side. Oh, how He loves you!
Andrea
Don't know what it is..don't have to…am familiar with God's plans not being mine…the pain of relinquishing…the joy of submission…the perseverance and hope in waiting…again…the anticipation of a new seeking…the discipline of a heavy daily walking…the peace of resting….Blessings to you, sweet Elaine…(((HUGS)))Sita
Wow…. this post fits for me too Elaine. I love how the Lord uses you to speak to my heart.
He's calling me to wear a different wardrobe as well. Yes, if feels awkward. The new "will" become like the old… soon.
Here's a virtual hug for you today Elaine
(((((Elaine)))))
Happy Wednesday!
how sweet of the Lord to give you
a loving husband and friend to each
comfort you in their special way.
blessings on the new clothes. . . may
they cover you with grace, peace, and
anointing.
how sweet of the Lord to give you
a loving husband and friend to each
comfort you in their special way.
blessings on the new clothes. . . may
they cover you with grace, peace, and
anointing.
Elaine,
So glad that Stephanie's words and picture were such a blessing to you… God's timing is perfect – He always shows up at very special times to show us things we could not see otherwise…
Ironicly, stephanie e-mailed me the morning tha t she dressed for travel to Israel. She changed clothes 3x before finally wearing what God wnateed her to wear. She said that didn't look good on her – it wasn't her! But God get's his way with her eventually!! And…at least she l;ooked COLORful!! 🙂
empowering and pondering post, Elaine! thank you! Your breakfast on the beach series is posted on my Bridge as it has completely magnified my personal longing for JESUS as FRIEND!!!
Thank you for your wise words!!
God bless
Patrina <")>><
His watchman on the wall
For me it was yesterday, dear sister. I was studying Luke 14 and got the direction. The Kingdom of God better come first. How? Jesus must be my #1 relationship priority and I must pick up my cross and follow Him. You can just imagine how your thoughts resinated with me!
Following hard after Him with you,
Mary
Elaine,
I journeyed over from the Cafe and during my lunch break I believe I just had "church." I feel at times I'm standing in the "divine dressing room" the way I arrived on this planet, waiting for the Master to bring the new wardrobe. I want to hurry Him along but He has none of that….So as I wait, I look at the grains of sand…noticing something I hadn't before. While I wait for that new wardrobe…
Blessings to you and prayers from my heart as you move through this time. Thankfully He left us with the assurance that He remains in all circumstances.
Peace,
lori
Elaine:
The description is familiar. I've been in those 'new clothes', and my 'old sweats' would have by far been my first choice. Little do we know, when we move into the new, what delights and blessings there are ahead! And sometimes, even though we do know that… our steps into the new are cautious. I am so sure that the journey ahead for you and yours is going to be full and blessed!
Hugs!
Sonja
praying for you…
To follow Him hard…and to culminate in that spot…where His strong arms gently place you in His desired place…will reveal divine alterations to the dressings He has created for you…
How blessed to have His word come through your friend's picture and message…at just the right time….
Praying, my friend…
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8
Didn't that picture just stir your heart?
I am praying for you my sweet friend.
Oh sweet friend. That is where I was last week, standing at the crossroads and not particularly liking God's plan for me. But the sweetness of it all, the release I felt when I finally took that first step toward HIM and His plan for me. I had to give up mine but I know that His will be so much sweeter, no matter how uncomfortable I am right now. I will be praying for you!!!
Jenifer
Praying He will shower you with His perfect peace today.
I'm with you, Elaine. I like the old, the familiar and the dear. However, that does not seem to be how God works. He like to push us out of our comfort zone and into a place where all we can do is trust His heart.
So, my friend, trust His heart. When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart!!
Leah
Elaine, I feel like your being has turned tranlucent in the past couple of weeks. You are baring your soul and I want you to know I don't take that for granted for a minute! Although I'm not packing up getting ready to move to who knows where, I have had similiar feelings as some of those you described today. Those of wondering why my garments sometimes look so different than those of my brothers and sisters! Many, many years ago someone gave me a little tract called "Others May, You Cannot" that made a great impression on my life. I still have it and think of it often. You can go here:
http://www.grantedministries.org/articles/others_may_you_cannot_g_w.pdf
if you'd like to read it online.
Thanks Elaine for being so real in your quest of living for Christ!
Love you much!
Marilyn…in Mississippi
praying for you as you follow hard after Jesus.
My heart goes out to you, my friend, in this time of uncomfortable change and new direction. Not that long ago the Lord called me to a task/ministry I would never have chosen for myself. Trust, trust, trust…
Hey Elaine, this is a moving post. I don't know the answer to any of your questions either, but I want to encourage you just the same. It seems my problem is just the opposite. What in the world am I supposed to be doing in ministry? I have no clue. I feel like I've missed out on soo much. Soo much living. You are living the great adventure. Everyday is a new day, and with Christ, you can do all things:) Love you Elaine.
katiegfromtennessee
Elaine,
What a tender story. Your gentle, loving and passionate heart shines through each post, but especially this one. I don't know what this "new wardrobe" awaits you but pray that its wearing brings you into an even greater knowing and stronger embrace of our loving Father.
Much love,
Kelli
Rest assured that even though the clothes don't seem like a good or proper fit right now, you will be clothed in His beauty and continue to be a blessing to others, as you have been to me.
Elaine. I'm a foreigner it seems visiting precious friends from just a few years. I've not had the time to get on here and really visit and read and eat the word with you or others…how my heart and eyes have missed you.
This morning…He sent me.
To read what I have gulped down. Tears swam and ran.
My heart knows the closet situation you speak of very well. For the same is happening in my own world.
A song was sent to me recently by a friend…"New Day" over and over those words ring—"it's a new day, a new way–behold the old is gone the new has come–it's a new day"…
Thank you Elaine —for following Him–and leading many along the journey!
Love you much dear sister.
Elaine,
I walked this way a time or two. Last time was June 26, 2006 and before that, August 3, 2005 and even more before that –I could say more
but instead my sister and friend I came here to say that I received your message a while ago and I'm praying…
I love you and I LOVE and TRUST GOD. He is with you and your family.
"Hearing you" and revisiting a few of my OWN wardrobe changes and challenges as I formulate my prayers for you right now…..
You my friend are SO beautiful. It's on my heart to share the words He has placed in mine…the words I am surrounded with today…'would I lead you anywhere, but somewhere safe, somewhere that is closer to Me and My heart'…no I am not silly Elaine to think that just reading those words will lift the worry, fear, thoughts, and other emotions that go with this calling for you..but from one friends heart to another…I am there with you…I am getting this stepping out in faith…a change…and to hold you accountable in grace and love…trust Him my friend…trust He has nothing but GREAT for you! It's really the ONLY way He works! I love you!
I am pulling up a chair to join you and Jesus for breakfast. We can sit and know He is everything we know and more. Blessings B
Elaine,
Be strong…I will be praying for you. I know how difficult it can seem to take on an unfamiliar road…but when you obey…even though you might not fully understand at the moment, you will find the peace you are so longing for. I hurt with you…and I make that step of faith with you in pray knowing He who is faithful will enable you to battle out for your destiny in Him.
Peace be with you…and He quiets you with His love!
Blessings,
Gladwell
Oh – Elaine!
My heart is in sync with yours at the prompting of Jesus' Words: "Follow Me."
I took this picture before the sun was fully up and awake. I was blessed to see this for 3 mornings in a row from my window along the Sea of Galilee!
I thought of you the entire time I was there because God had instructed me to print out one of your posts in that series because He had much to teach me along this journey – and most of it entailed TRUSTING HIM with a newfound faith. God has an obsession to be trusted! When we learn to REST in that – He shows us His faithfulness in all its glory as only He can.
Everything about this trip was a step of devoted TRUST in His plan as He called me to Jerusalem for a purpose.
I had no idea when I left that would be sleeping and breathing the air along the shores of Galilee. So many divine appointments happened here too! The boat were were supposed to take out on the lake had sprung a leak so we had to go with another boat instead – but THAT boat turned out to be owned by Daniel – the ONLY Messianic Jew who sails the Sea of Galilee. He sings and writes music and he played for us that day. God allowed another boat to spring a leak so He could give us the best of Galilee! I have that whole thing on video and will share it soon on the blog.
Thank you for your faithfulness in writing that series – probably one of my favorites that you have done. It is also the inspiration of what I will be teaching in Bible study starting this week. I'm writing about the words of Jesus! What does He say – and do we obey it!
Choosing JOY in sharing all of this with you,
Stephanie