“Out of your poverty, Elaine, surrender your pen.”
His words are as clear to me today as they were for me on that Friday night, June 10, 2011. The memory lingers fully . . . beautifully in my heart. Heavenly impressions are not easily forgotten. When God presses his fingerprints on to the pages of our stories—when God gives his directives with such clear and certain authority—there is a grace that comes alongside to solidify that moment and to grant us enough courage and trust to begin our obedience. It takes them both—courage and trust—for us to move forward, because God’s plans don’t always feel reasonable. Sometimes they feel impossible.
Such had been my week when I arrived to that Friday night a year ago, really my previous ten months. I’d stumbled my way through cancer treatments, emerging on the other side of them with more emotional scars than physical ones. Cancer not only strikes the flesh but also strikes the soul—the seat of human emotions. I didn’t notice my soul woundings until the other ones had subsided. It was then, when the silence came, that I began the process of untangling my pain. Some healings require more than stitches and band-aids. Some healings require the salve of time and a gentle Jesus.
On that Friday night, I recognized my profound need. I cried out to God for hope. I’d lost mine somewhere along the way. Oh, I masked it pretty well, even speaking to a group of cancer survivors earlier in the week, challenging them and charging them with hope’s rallying cry. But truth really does speak louder than words, and the truth was, I was losing ground. I wanted to give myself to something better, something higher, something more than the pain that was sucking me under, but I didn’t know how to fully get there. I only knew the first step to take—reading my Bible.
I opened up God’s Word to the bookmarked page and re-read the story I’d been chewing on for the better part of a week. A widow’s story from Luke 21. A story about her offering at the temple treasury—a gift not measured by human scales but a gift counted by God as “more than all the others.” I felt the hand of God squeeze tighter around my soul. It could not be ignored; only acknowledged, only received.
“Out of your poverty, Elaine, surrender your pen.”
And so I did. Right then. I gave God my heart, my insecurities, my words, and my promise that I would be faithful to write the witness of my cancer season, each day, until it was finished. Nothing about that obedience felt reasonable to me; instead, it felt like trust. In that moment, I knew that God wouldn’t fail me; he would help me—his power so effectively working in me would accomplish this, and in the end, it wouldn’t be about what I had done. It would be about everything he had done.
He did do it all. Each day for forty days during the hot, crowded season of summer, God showed up and pressed my thoughts into words and molded my cancer story into something that could be touched, held, and raised to the heavens as my Ebenezer, my “Thus far, the Lord has helped me” (see 1 Sam. 7:12). It was all a bit of a mess at the finish line. Forty days of intense writing leaves little time for editing and critique; that would come later. But on July 19, 2011, I knew it was a completed work and that it wasn’t meant just for me. Down to my last two coppers, I threw my “all” into the treasury of God’s temple, and the healing that took place in my heart can only be explained by the covenant Father who always makes good on his promises.
The writing was done; the hardest part was about to begin. On July 21, 2011, I packed up my suitcase, my messy manuscript, and my growing hope and headed out the door to see about a publisher—to see if anyone else might be willing to latch on to my story and bring it to the public. It didn’t take me long to figure out that writing a book is a whole lot easier than getting it published. But that’s another story for another day, another post—my next post.
Let me leave you with this final thought. If God has pressed his heart’s desire into your heart, if the Father has asked you for a hard obedience in this season (and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s him talking and not his competing counterfeit), then you can trust him with the outcome. Like the widow of Luke 21 and like me, you may be down to your last coppers. But when you do your banking with the King, you can be certain that he will make it count for all eternity. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to see it through to completion.
Count on it. Count on God. As always . . .
Peace for the journey,
What’s in your hand, your heart, your dreams? What is God calling you to surrender into his temple treasury today? I’d love to pray for you.
Amen, amen. Beautiful.
Although I have not walked your specific journey, so much of what you wrote here is simmering in my heart these days. Can’t wait for more of your story.
“Courage and trust,” provided by my Redeemer…I could not persevere otherwise!
Blessings sweet friend~ Jess
I am not sure how your blog got off of my list, but it has been for several weeks and so I have missed soo much of what has been going on. I am so happy to have found you again. How exciting this all is. I can’t wait to read the book. And not just because I share your story of course, but because I just know the gift the Lord has given you blesses me so. Your wisdom and insight are such treasures to me. Praying all goes well with this. Hugs to you! Debbie
Elaine, as always, you have touched my heart. Your last questions__”What’s in your hand, your heart, your dreams? What is God calling you to surrender into his temple treasury today?”__ has caused me much thought.
I’m excited about your new book! I know it is going to touch so many lives and hearts. It will be an instrument to bring healing to the lives of others in such a personal way.
God bless you my faithful friend!
Marilyn
Always beautiful– I can’t wait for the next post!
As for me, God has asked me to surrender my wandering and go home despite the broken relationships I will need to face.
“Some healings require more than stitches and band-aids. Some healings require the salve of time and a gentle Jesus.” LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this!!!! These words are speaking loud and clear to me today my friend. We have started attending a new church and the past two services have been about “letting” go of things (our pasts, our possessions, etc.) in order to TRULY worship and experience God and let Him work in our lives.
I sense that God is trying to tell me that I have to let go of some issues/some grudges/some hurts in my past and move on. There are just some things I can’t change or control. The healing time has been ample in most of these situations and I need to look forward to what He has in store now. I am the one that can’t let go. He has forgotten them long ago!!
I can’t wait to read your new book my friend. Thanks for being obedient to the call to write it!
Much Love!!
Even when we don’t think we’re moving forward, we’re listening, studying His word, waiting for Him to guide us, and He does, faithfully.
XOXOXO,
Brenda
I’m so glad you are sharing your “behind the book” story. I’m really looking forward to the next installment.
What’s in my heart? I just feel at this juncture I should push myself to go beyond where I’ve ever been before.
Oh thanks for the word. I’m looking forward to your next post:)
Yes. Amen, my friend.
I can’t wait!! I do love how God has gifted you in writing!! Thank you for following His leads. Only in eternity will you be able to fully comprehend your written words effect on others, especially me.
Pamela
You all bless me with your kindness, I really mean it. If it wasn’t for the support I’ve received through this blog over the past 4 years (especially in the last two) I wouldn’t have written this book, or any other book for that matter. You are what makes all of this worth it. You know I feel the same about each one of you. You are what I’m thanking God for this night as I find rest on my pillow. Blessings.
“…if the Father has asked you for a hard obedience in this season (and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s him talking and not his competing counterfeit), then you can trust him with the outcome…” “What is God calling you to surrender into his temple treasury today? I’d love to pray for you.”
Sweet friend, your obedience birthed a book. The call I heard is bringing finality to a friendship. A different kind of “hard”. Your surrender leaves you with something tangible. My surrender asks me to leave. So many questions fill my heart, yet surrounded by such certainly, “Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house” (Proverbs 5:8) (Can’t remember if I shared the story of that verse with you last time we talked or not.)
As I think of God’s “temple treasury”, I see it filled with treasures…not of great beauty to the untrained eye…nothing that would appear of precious value or monetary wealth…actually it may look like rags, not riches….but God sees the preciousness of each difficult surrender…He knows the relinquishment…He sees the tears and heartache in the goodbye, and mends the hands torn in the giving.
Thank you for encouraging me again today. I love you so much my friend. For the past 5 years I have watched you walk in faithful, consistency with our Father. Your depth of relationship has always challenged me to push in closer to His heart. Thank You for loving Jesus deeply and sharing Him.
Praying for you too,
Joy
You know I’m praying…
I think it’s wonderful how different parts of your posts speak to so many. The entire post is powerful. But this spoke to me on many levels:
“Like the widow of Luke 21 and like me, you may be down to your last coppers. But when you do your banking with the King, you can be certain that he will make it count for all eternity. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to see it through to completion.”
Thank you for your friendship, love, and encouragement – you “get me” like no one else.
Sure am gonna miss you next week. We’ll get together soon. Yes, you get me as well, separated at birth… I’m sure of it.
Elaine, your willingness so demonstrates the definition of “surrender”; as it relates to obediance to the Lord.
Sur – meaning “over or above” or in addition to.
Render – meaning to submit or present – or to give what is due.
You truly did surrender or Over or above submit or present that which is due to the Lord when you gave of yourself to write of your journey.
Blessing to you and the work of your hands.
So sweet, Jane. Thank you very much. I hope that we can all learn something along the way.
Elaine, what an encouragement this was for me. You responded in obedience to what the Lord asked of you. And I know it will be a book that will help others as they go through their own pain. I too have felt the Lord calling me to share. As I look back at the experiences I’ve had, I don’t want to keep them to myself.
I am looking forward to following along as you share about this journey.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
Please let me know how I can help, Debbie. I’m excited to hear more as the days unfold.
When you felt like you were losing ground, love that you said your first step was turning to the Word. I sure don’t know where I’d be without it.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story!
Turning to the Word has not always been my default, Cheryl. It’s taken a lot of years’ worth of purposeful investments along these lines, to help me understand the worthiness of such obedience. As Abraham Lincoln said, “I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.” Thanks for stopping by.