Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)
Last Friday, September 21st, our son found his words again. It all started with sign that read, “Say hi.”
He did … said “Hi.”
We were overjoyed to hear his voice, albeit groggy and weak. He read the sign; he followed the prompt. Jadon is coming back to us, piece by piece.
Not long after his initial proclamation, he made others. Simple things—his name, year, birth date. And then he made an unexpected proclamation, one I’ve never heard him say before. When the therapist asked him what my name was, what we expected to hear was “Mom” or “Elaine”. What he said, instead, was …
“Faith.”
In the nearly eighteen years of his earthly tenure, I’ve never heard my son refer to me as Faith. It is, indeed, my first name, but I’ve always been called by my middle name, Elaine. And therein lies the rub. I’ve written about it before … the struggle between my Faith and my Elaine. You can read about it here.
As life goes, the struggle continues.
Will it be life lived according to my Faith or according to my Elaine?
Time will write the witness. For now, the balancing act continues.
And even though my son may not have intentionally called me by my first name just over a week ago (for the record, he’s not called me that since), God seems to be using Jadon to remind me of something I often forget:
A certain faith is often forged in uncertain times.
We are there, friends, in an uncertain season … again. Eight years ago, we were battling through the uncertainty of my cancer diagnosis. Naively, I think we all assumed that this would be our family’s primary “suffering issue.” Every family gets one, right? – maybe two or three or ten. And while my cancer journey was, indeed, a sorrowful season for all of us, it now seems like a small thing compared to this very big thing.
We know it. Jadon knows it. Apparently, you know it as well because we’re hearing from you. Yes, it seems as if all of us are #joiningjadonsfight for a whole lot of reasons via a myriad of routes therein. My faith, your faith, our faith is being hammered out and shaped in ways we never imagined prior to Jadon’s “bending low to lift up.”
And in this moment, I am bending low beneath the weight of this limb to pick up my Faith before I pick up my Elaine. It’s heavy. It’s messy. It’s raw. It’s clumsy. It’s graceless. It’s grace-filled. It’s less textbook and more “on the job” training. Honestly, it’s probably the most unsophisticated Faith on this planet.
But it is mine, and it is growing.
So thank you, Jadon, for calling me out by a name for which I am lesser known. Perhaps in those quiet days before you found your words, God was giving you some of his.
By Faith I am listening. By Faith I’ll walk this road with you. Along the way and as we go, may God grant us his strength, his wisdom, his joy, his love, and (as always) his …
Peace for the journey,
Follow Jadon’s Fight on my facebook page. In addition, Scotland Christian Academy (Jadon’s school) are selling #joinjadonsfight t-shirts. If you’d like one, follow this link. Lastly, we are blessed by the continuing financial support we’re receiving. If you’re so inclined, you can follow this link to do so.
We all need a reminder once in a while. Thank you for sharing!!
Love you, Shirley! Hug my husband tomorrow.
wifeforthejourney:
Indeed, I’d have never imagined a time of renewed suffering could bring such extremes of emotion in my life. Parents are prepared to endure all kinds of hardships for the sake of their children – it is another thing entirely to watch your child suffer. Yet even in the terror of the moment of the accident, and the uncertainty that has gripped us since, FAITH in God remains; especially in our son, Jadon. For one who trusted Christ at such a young age, he demonstrates his strength even in this most vulnerable time of his life. Thanks be to God we are not required to endure this time all alone. Our son’s own faith is now a vehicle for others to look past their own hardships and consider, there is a God in Heaven that loves them too!
We love you!
Faith Elaine, we met each other through our blogs… and long before your cancer journey, I had already been reading your posts. Then we became friends on FB as well. I feel like I know you very well already – seeing your first day of school photos each year of your two younger children – Mimim and Jadon… and being amazed at seeing them grow, too fast, it seems, through the photos you share. I know your sons’ names by heart. And I know the names of the women they love. I’ve rejoiced with your family at your son’s engagement, wedding, and another son’s engagement. You have many online friends who love you and care for you. Such precious friendships are so redemptive! If I lived closer to you, you are the kind of friend I would love to have coffee with, as often as time allows. Prayed for your 4th grade students at each new school year. And now this new chapter of your Faith Book… All I have to say is that it is a privilege and an honor for me to be one of your online friends. Jadon is right, “God’s got this.” Our prayers for you and your whole family connect us to God’s heart. Shalom, my dear friend. Shalom.
Oops, sorry, I spelled my name wrong in the above comment.
Your heart is perfect and your words a great comfort to me. Yes, no doubt we would be coffee buddies were we close by. We’ll share a table in heaven, no doubt. It is a joy and privilege to call you friend.
Faith, indeed! Continue to walk in it ’til ALL is sight. ❤️
Yes Ma’am. All the way through…
Ms.Olsen,
The Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ,and the love of God,and the communion of the Holy Ghost, be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14
Praying for many more miracles!
Thank you, Mandee! We pray all is well in your home.
Love that Jadon called you Faith, Elaine. And yes, God surely put that very word and reminder in his mouth. Count on my continued prayers!
God continues to strengthen my faith… and the faith of many of my blog readers… through Jadon and your family. So many prayed your cancer would be your family’s last struggle, but like you, I know that’s not realistic. I love you, sweet lady. I love Jadon and our Father Who’s seen fit to connect us in so many ways. My prayers are with all of you, everyday. Love, Brenda
Your words are always such a gift…a gift first given to you and then shared to bless others… Thanks for always keeping it “real”. There are lots of praying friends here in Ohio that you probably won’t know or meet until eternity on the other side. What an amazing son you have raised. Lam. 3:22-25 is my praise this morning when thinking of him.