Category Archives: a quick word marriage

A Wedding Dance with Redemption . . .

 

My eldest son got married two weeks ago. It was a grand affair. Quaint. Intimate. On a mountain and in the company of family and friends. I thought a lot about my son that day while sitting next to his father in our designated, front pew. We had the best seat in the house, but then again, in sharing life with this extraordinary twenty-five-year-old man we call “son”, we’ve always had the best seat in the house. What a privilege to watch him grow over the years and to witness him standing before his bride and speaking his oath to love her for the rest of his earthly days. It’s a day I won’t forget, one that sows deeply into the soil of my heart and that heralds a grand “hallelujah” for the grace that has passed ahead, within, and behind us, low these many years.

It takes a lot of grace to grow a boy into a man. Our story is no exception. In fact, our story begs for grace, has relied upon grace to get us to this season in our lives – a day when two parents, who once made those same sacred vows to one another only later to break them, were able to sit side-by-side and celebrate the child born out of their love. You can imagine the baggage that I carried into that chapel two weeks ago, the internal wrestlings that were begging to take the stage. But it wasn’t a day for baggage and wrestlings. It was a day for grace and for making peace with a past that I cannot change but, instead, can honor for the fruit that has blossomed despite my disobedience.  

This was and continues to be my wedding dance with redemption, when the past works for me instead of against me. When the glass is less dim and more transparent. When I can see clearly through the brokenness to gather up some wholeness. When the Groom extends his hand and his heart in my direction and repeats the oath he spoke to me in the past saying:

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness.

I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.

Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful.

Again you will plant vineyards on the hills of Samaria; the farmers will plant them and enjoy their fruit.” (Jeremiah 31:3-5)

This is my “again” . . . again – one of the many agains I have known because of the mercy-filled, extended hand of my Groom, Jesus Christ. His love is timeless, knows no boundaries, and never tires of the grace-dance. Instead, his love is ready.

Ready to draw me in.

Ready to rebuild me.  

Ready to re-teach me the sacred melody.

Ready to sow within me the seeds of eternity.

Christ’s love is ready, and Christ’s love is enough to carry any broken and burdened soul through to present wholeness. He loves his bride, and his oath is his word. No sin and no shame are a match for his strong affection and sacred affirmation. Love wins the day, and the Groom takes his Bride.

A wedding dance with redemption. The grace-dance with the Redeemer. My dance. Your dance. God’s dance.

Won’t you take hold of his hands, friends, and take hold of your tambourines? The music’s been cued. The wine’s been poured. And the Groom has given you his word . . .  

This is for forever.

Hallelujah! Amen. So be it. As always . . .

 

Peace for the journey,

homecourt advantage…

His words made me cry this morning.

He told me, along with the surrounding congregation, that I was his “home court advantage.” That no matter how dreary the many matters surrounding him in his outside life become, at the end of the day, I was his safe harbor. His cheerleader; his anchor; his best defense against his critics.

It’s hard to think of my husband having any critics. If you’ve ever met my man, then you would heartily agree. Never have I known a more compassionate, loving individual whose willingness to lay down his heart and life for just about anybody far surpasses the norm. Truly, the love of God resides in his inner being.

He’s…

A giver, not a taker.
An encourager, not a “deflater.”
A healer, not a wounder.
A lover, not a fighter.
A defender, not an offender.
A faith walker, not just a faith talker.
A mature man, not an infant.
A forgiver, not a grudge-keeper.
A “do-er,” not just a listener.
A pastor, not just a preacher.
A father, not just a sperm-donor.
A husband, not a controller.

So much of what he is, is what I am not. I suppose this is main reason God decided to grace my life with Billy’s. He knew, better than me, just what I needed at just the right time… just in time.

I nearly gave my heart and years to another the second time around. What a disaster that would have been. But God reached down into my dreariness and drew me out; set my feet on higher ground and set my sights in a better direction—a course that would push my feet along a path that would eventually intersect with the path of a man named Billy on his way to becoming a preacher named accordingly.

Preacher Billy.

There’s none finer. And that’s the truth of the matter.

So when the critics arrive as they have arrived in recent days, their “truth” holds little water on my turf. I’m a home-team gal with a whole lot of home-team pride surging through my veins. Sometimes I wish my man would let me in the rink to go a round or two on his behalf; he’s certainly stood in the rink for me on a number of occasions and has the scars to prove it.

But his “better” usually wins out over my “bitter”, and I’m reminded, once again, of why I need him so much.

He forces the issue of my faith. He pushes me to my perfection. He understands the greater gain that can come from a surrender rather than from a frontal assault. He is my knight in shining armor, and I am his damsel in distress. He’s saved me from myself, time and again, and pulled me through the dark forest into the marvelous light of an extraordinary kingdom.

I don’t know how long our lives will extend together on this planet—how much time God will grant us to live our love story—but with my dying breath, I will still be cheering his name.

It’s what a home-team wife does… how a home-team family lives.

You’ve found your home court advantage with us, Preacher Billy. We love you more than words can write; you make our lives a place where we want to live. Thank you for giving your heart to us on a hot July afternoon almost thirteen years ago.

Only God could have known the depth of what that would mean for all of us.

Only God could love us that much.

It’s you and me, babe, from this day forward, through to forever. The line has been drawn, and I know where I stand. How grateful and humbled I am to call you, not only my preacher, but most importantly, my man.

I love you…

~elaine

PS: The winner of Alicia Chole’s book, Intimate Conversations, was drawn by my daughter this afternoon…Congrats, Denise at Free to be Me. Please send me your snail mail, and I’ll get this to you in time to put it under your tree! Shalom.

sacred preservation…

sacred preservation…

I was fully prepared to write another post today, a post that God has graciously allowed me to tuck away for a season; maybe forever. Today he gave me a “pass” on something. Today his favor has come to me and my household in tangible measure, and I am humbled and grateful for his notice.

This is my man.


He is my strength and has been my able arms over the past week. We’ve created a beautiful home together. When God gave me Billy, he gave me a portion of heavenly grace—love as love was meant to be received. I’ve never known a better earthly love. Sure, my parents love me unconditionally. Parents do that, at least they should. But when another human being makes the choice to love unconditionally, well, that’s the stuff of earth’s movement, of hell’s frustration, and of heaven’s notice.

Our love has deepened over the past week; I look forward to more seasons with my man. To marking our grey hairs together and our ills and aches as well. I love you, Billy.

These are my children.


They are the reason behind my pressing on and pressing in to Jesus. The more I know him, the more I’m able to give him to them. They deserve my faithful pursuit of God. They are and will continue to be the recipients of my earnest chase and capture of the Divine. I love you, Nick, Colton, Jadon, and Amelia.

And you, blog readers, you are my friends. I have no doubts that the peace I’ve known over the past week has come to me in large part through the prayers of the saints. You are those saints. You know who you are. I called upon you for prayer, and your prayers have been felt … been heard and been answered.

Today I got a “pass” from God, and that is enough for me. Day to day living with Jesus is all that is required of us. Not tomorrow; not next week, but this very moment we hold in our hands. God reserves the right to all of those moments, no matter their length of earthly time.

When I awoke in the early morning hours, God impressed upon me a few words that I would like to share with you as I close. I thought them profound, even before I got my “pass.” I still think that to be the case…

“It doesn’t matter how long God chooses to preserve my earthly life. What matters is how I choose to preserve him in the earthly life I’ve been given.”

Preserve him well this week, and I will do the same. Nothing in this life, and I mean nothing, is worth losing the flavor of Jesus in us, on us, through us, all around us. Nothing. Tend to his divine preservation within your heart this day, knowing that the aroma you spread has the capacity to shake the foundations of hell. In doing so, the heavens sing their refrain, as our Father bends low for a listen. As always…

peace for the journey~

~elaine

a quick update…

Hey friends…

As you can tell, the blog is undergoing a make-over with a few more additions to come over the next few days. I will also be switching the domain address to a dot.com address and will keep you posted as details arrive. I can’t wait to tell you about the fabulous designers!

On another note, I wanted to let you know the winner of the Bebo Norman CD: #16 LauraLee Shaw from Selah, Pause, and Ponder. Congrats LauraLee!

A final thought for your Wednesday:

“My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight;
they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.
Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble;
when you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your feet from being snared.” (Proverbs 3:21-26).

Whatever you have to do today to preserve sound judgment and discernment, do it. Wrap them around your neck; do not let them out of your sight. We live in a fallen world, and the enemy’s prowl has never been more vicious; more vigilant; more firm and more diligent.

But neither has our God’s. He, too, is on the prowl (from a higher and better vantage point). His vigilance and diligence on our behalf exceed the enemy’s attempts at the same. The LORD, our confidence, comes behind us and goes before us. Our responsibility, today, is to secure ourselves firmly in between these sacred Bookends.

Do not let your confidence slip; instead, fix your eyes on Confidence and find God’s peace. As always…

peace for the journey,

Adding Zest to the Nest

Adding Zest to the Nest

Thank you all for your kind and gracious words of encouragement to me regarding my last post. I’m still in hibernation mode but wanted to take a moment to ask you a frank and bold question (one that I never imagined I would ask on this blog):

How goes it in the bedroom with your spouse? Could you use a little zest in your nest?

I know. Bold and to the point. I don’t intend on offering you any pointers in this regard, but I know a woman who can. Her name is Heidi, aka “stonefox” to most of us. A few months ago, Heidi began to explore the topic of sexual satisfaction in a Christ-centered marriage. That exploration is being developed into a new series to be offered on her blog beginning in June. The title of the series is “under the covers.” You can read more about it by clicking on these links to the following posts:

The Sexual Woman (part one)

The Sex Doctor (part two)

In addition, Heidi and her friend Patty are beginning a blog devoted entirely to this issue, offering Godly advice and answers to our questions. You can visit their new site, Adding Zest to your Nest, by clicking here.

Adding Zest Button

I’ve encouraged Heidi to nurture the growth of this teaching. She’s been a good friend to me, even though an ocean or two separates our worlds. She is wise beyond her years … the kind of wisdom that cannot be learned but only received as a gift from the Giver of infinite wisdom. In addition, she has a rich heart for the ministering of the Gospel in a culture that is often void of desire and understanding.

I encourage you to be a part of this growing teaching. I need it more than anyone, and I’m just bold enough and perhaps just on the other side of crazy enough, to commit my energy and my heart to growing in this area of my marriage.

I certainly need more zest. I’m sure that my husband would agree.

Blessings to you all this week. I love you like crazy and am praying for each one of you as God brings you to mind. As always,

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