Sometimes you need an extra week.
Sometimes two weeks is not enough for you to take hold of a new thing or for a new thing to take hold of you.
Sometimes…
New things need extra doses of grace and understanding … and time.
Let me explain.
As my children were growing up, they encountered many seasons of new things, none more so than when they took their first jobs at age sixteen (yes, all of them) and when they went to college. Those occasions were often fraught with worry and questions about making these transitions. My advice to them?
“Give it two weeks. Things aren’t supposed to make sense at the beginning, but after two weeks, you’ll settle into a routine. You’ll know what your boss wants … what your teacher wants. After two weeks, you’ll feel better, be more settled, more in the flow. Give it two weeks and give yourself some grace as you walk it through.”
Sage advice some would say, especially from a battle-tested mom who’s weathered her own share of new things over the years. Or so it seems.
Over the past year, my advice has come back around to haunt me … taunt me as I transitioned to a new job at Campbell University. In those beginning days of employment, I would often hear my daughter echo the same sentiment over my fledgling transition into my new role:
“Give it two weeks, Mom. You know what you always say – things will feel better in two weeks. Just hang on.”
Well, two weeks came and went, and I was struggling. At an age when many women are looking toward retirement, I went looking for a new job. What I quickly found out is that, while advancing age often begets wisdom, age doesn’t always keep pace with changing trends and technology. The latter often outpaces the former.
It’s been a year now since my vocational transition. My two weeks have turned into fifty-two, and today I do feel better, I am more settled, and the workflow seems more natural than it did in those beginning weeks. Campbell University has been kind to me and afforded me green pastures to grow within and alongside some extraordinary people.
Today I am reflecting on that growth, and I have a list of sorts … a few insights that are not necessarily new to me but ones that have been reinforced for me during my time here. They aren’t particularly ground-breaking or soul-stirring revelations, but I thought I would share them with you. Perhaps there is some encouragement (even laughter) to be found with their revealing, especially if you’re in a time of transition.
So… 11 gleanings from 52 weeks of pasturing in this place:
#1 – Don’t wait on people to find you. Go find your people.
Here’s where age and accumulated wisdom bear fruit.
News Flash: The world isn’t waiting to find you; the world’s too busy to notice you. If you want “in,” you’d better jump in with a big splash and a big smile. Let people know you are there, and that you’re not afraid to get a little wet. Soon, you won’t feel like a fish out of water; instead, you’ll be swimming alongside some of the best of them.
#2 – People are still people.
A vocational shift doesn’t eliminate personalities; it simply provides a different stage upon which you can act your part alongside a new cast of characters. Wherever humans gather, drama follows. There will be a hero, maybe even a villain, a supporting cast and a host of “extras” to fill the stage. You may not get to choose the performers, but you can certainly master your role in the script. Learn your lines, act your scenes, take your cues and (for goodness sakes) when the curtain drops, leave the stage. The spotlight is reserved for a few, but the curtain call highlights the many. Find your place therein.
#3 – Slow days are for uncluttering.
When you “didn’t get the memo” about not coming to work, and you’re the only one in the building, take a moment to look around. Instead of noticing the silence, notice the opportunity. Busy days often build cluttered lives – cluttered file cabinets, messy drawers, accumulated artifacts and dusty desktops. When a day affords you a pause from routine, use the day to lessen your mess. Your busy days will thank you.
#4 – A candy dish fosters community.
Fill a dish with candy, and, before long, you’ll have a room full of friends. Preferences reign at the candy dish. From Jolly Ranchers™ to Smarties™ to Kit Kats™ to Tootsie Rolls™ to Lifesavers™. Not everyone chooses the same candy; but everyone convenes at the same dish. A single dish balances the workplace in a simple way that reaps relational dividends beyond the momentary satisfaction of a sweet tooth.
#5 – Prayer is the universal language.
A candy dish offers community with one another, but a prayer offers communion with the living God. Offer both. One satisfies temporarily; the other satisfies eternally.
#6 – Take the stairs.
In strengthening your legs, you strengthen your heart. You increase your flexibility and relieve stress in the process. Take time for the ascent; the climb is worth the compensation.
#7 – Guard your tongue.
My father once told me, “Not every thought that comes into your head needs to come out of your mouth, Elaine.” He’s right; it’s been a costly lesson at times, one that I’m still learning. Certainly, thoughts are the makings of good conversation, but some thoughts are better held personally and deeply within without utterance. And by the way, political speak is almost always divisive; it leaves a lasting impression. If you want to keep a good one about your co-workers and vice versa, speak less on the matter. Eat more candy instead (see #4).
#8 – College kids still need a mom.
The new-found sense of independence that comes from being away from home doesn’t mean that home isn’t needed. Be a mom (or a dad) to those whose hearts are caught between wanting the freedom of a young adult and craving the security of being a child. If you’re on a college campus or have younger people sitting beneath your influence, lean into your battle-tested interior. You’re a pro at being older and wiser. Lend your strength and your hugs to others.
#9 – People are more important than personal power, promotions or preferences.
Don’t underestimate the value of a person by overestimating your value. Stepping over or on someone to step up your game is costly – a price-tag that often exceeds dollars and cents by bankrupting a soul.
#10 – Not all learning takes place in a classroom.
Some students sit behind desks, answer phones, fix light bulbs, mow the grass, make the food and clean the toilets. A life well-lived is a life well-learned. Be kind to your classmates. We share the road of learning.
And lastly…
#11 – An old dog really can learn a few new tricks.
Despite changing trends and technology, I have been able to learn a few new things in these past 52 weeks at Campbell. The key? I think it has something to do with humility – being able to laugh at yourself and realizing that you don’t know everything but that, by God’s very good design, you can lean into your learning. It’s not been a very graceful process for me, but at every turn it has been grace-filled.
God has loved me well by leading me here to these green pastures. This new thing has finally taken hold of me, and for that, I am grateful.
So, if today you, like me, are in need of an extra week or 52 weeks to find your footing, give yourself permission and grace enough to let time runs its course. May God draw close to you, hold you, strengthen and encourage you to keep moving forward. Your new things will eventually become your old things, and you will feel better, be more settled in your spirit and more comfortable with the flow of the life unfolding around you.
Hang on, friend. Greener pastures are up ahead. As always…
Peace for the journey,
“When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.” –John 21:9
Grace’s words surprised me that night. I wasn’t expecting them. What I was expecting … well, I’m not quite sure. I’d never been down this road before. Just an hour earlier, I was eating orange sherbet while sitting on a couch next to my mother-in-law, Rosalie, when the call came telling us what I was expecting to hear—that my father-in-law, Bill, had stepped peacefully from this side of the eternal veil to the other.
These are days of plenty. This is a season of more-than-enough. This is holy generosity dispensed to me by the King.