Category Archives: living God’s truth

The Next Post…

The Next Post…

The next post.

This is it … the one following the last one. I sometimes wonder when the next post will be the last post. I’m not there yet, but I sometimes wonder. After 220 posts, is there really anything left to say?

A year and a half’s worth of ramblings has chronicled a full cycle of family birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and vacations. Does any one really need to hear about that stuff again? While it’s all very important to me, I’m not sure it’s important to you.

I’ve divulged most of my “junk” … at least the stuff that’s worthy of print and remains reader appropriate. Recipes, fashion trends, and scrap booking aren’t my thing, although I very much appreciate those of you who make them all a worthy pause in my day. Sex really isn’t my writing forte nor an area of personal expertise; I’ll leave that up to the girls over at Adding Zest in your Nest. And parenting? Well, while I’ve done it for over twenty years, I don’t claim the market on the best technique. I simply parent as I go, and in the last eighteen months, I’ve found a nugget or two to share with you because of that “going”.

Thus, it seems to me the ground has been mostly covered here. What’s left? What more could be written that hasn’t yet been said? What might this next post be beyond the fact that it’s the “next post”? I struggle with this every time the obligatory 2-3 day post-interval cycles around and asks me for my thoughts.

Some of you don’t. Some of you are compelled to keep the ink flowing and do so in beautiful measure. But as for me, I struggle. Not because I don’t want to be here, but because when I am here, I want to say something worth saying. Some words that leave you thinking. Not thinking just about anything, but words that leave you thinking about God. This has always been the purpose behind “peace for the journey”—to pause from the everyday ordinary in order to partake of our extraordinary God.

Yesterday, I listened to an on-line seminar hosted by Sheila Wray Gregoire on How to Launch a Speaking Ministry (the best $10 I’ve spent in a long time and well worth the hour investment for anyone with a heart stirred along these lines). In her talk Shelia lays out some initial, foundational principles about how to shape and hone a “signature talk”, one that directly pertains to our own personal story. We all have one; yours isn’t mine and mine will never perfectly fit into yours. God created each one of us with a story in mind. You are the one best equipped to write its witness.

Sheila also drove home the point that “speaking” isn’t necessarily the same thing as “teaching” or “preaching.” According to Shelia, the goal of a good speaker is “to bring other people to a place where they are open to hearing God’s voice.” And while she was referring to a speaking ministry, I would echo the same for my writing ministry; as for that matter, my life’s work!

To bring others … to bring you … to the place where you are open to the possibility of hearing God’s voice … of knowing God more. If I’m about anything, I’m about knowing my God more. Why? Because knowing God is the benchmark of a vibrant, growing faith. God places a premium on our pursuit therein.

“This is what the LORD says,

‘Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
Or the strong man boast of his strength
Or the rich man boast of his riches,
But let him who boasts boast about this:
That he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,’ declares the LORD.’” (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

A life verse, I suppose. At least one that has gripped my heart for these past few years. Knowing God and boasting in that knowing is the only worthy pursuit of my heart. Wisdom, strength, and riches are fleeting. But knowing the LORD in rich, intimate measure is the well-spring of my journey. To know God, I must be with God. And one of the best ways I’ve found to be with God is to spend time with him and his written Word—his everlasting witness to his everlasting presence.

As long as I’m there, hunkered down somewhere in between a Genesis’ beginning and a Revelation’s end, I’ll always find a reason to be here. I won’t have to wonder where the “next post” will come from or if it will be a worthy read. Boasting in the Lord is always a worthy use of my words. It may not make me the most popular blogger in cyberspace, but it keeps my Father’s attention. In the end, what’s more important? Man’s applause or God’s attention?

I choose the latter every time because I understand that it is the Latter who holds the keys to my forever and who’ll be waiting for me when my race has finished its course.

The next post.

If the Lord allows me a few more days, it’s coming, and if you’d like to join me in the journey, you’ll find me, along with Jesus, walking Solomon’s Colonnade—a story found in John 10. I invite you to take some time to read its substance prior to my next post. I’ve been there recently, and because of my obedience along those lines, I know my God more today than I did yesterday. I want the same for you.

Wherever you are this night, whatever tugs at your heart and pulls at your emotions, whatever plans you have for this week or whatever struggles await your fretting in the days to come, there is peace to be found in your journey. His name is Jesus, and if you’re willing, he’s more than willing to be known by you, to be loved by you, and to be worshipped by you.

That, friends, is the next post worth writing. Write him well; with God’s help, I will endeavor to do the same. I’ll be back with you on Tuesday to get the party started at the Feast of Dedication; Jesus is there, and wherever he is, a party is sure to follow. At least it should.

As always,

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a fleeting resemblance

“Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath.” (Psalm 39:4-5).

Two boys at eight-years-old.

Two boys separated by twelve years.

Two boys with different fathers.

Two boys who are never pegged as look-alikes , still and yet two boys who share some obvious similarities:

adorable eyes;
kind hearts;
big dreams;
ice-cream appetites;
and a mutual love for the one thing they’ll always have in common.

Their momma. The one who loves them back and then some more and wishes she could fold them up and keep them in her pocket for a long season to come.

Where has the time gone? I know we all say it; I’m pretty sure I’ve heard at least once or twice in the course of conversations within the last few days. Time slips through our hands like water. Perhaps not always in the moment; sometimes moments spend long and laborious. But then they gather and collect and before long, we’re left holding our memories and wondering why we didn’t cherish them better while we lived them.

Sometimes it hurts to look back because it reminds us of just how fleeting a life-span lives.

Children are most often our benchmarks for the passage of time. They can’t help but grow and change and move into adulthood. Those of us who are older? Well, it seems we stay “stuck” in our growth as we age. Yes, the internal shaping is ever at work, and while we may gray a bit, get rounder and more wrinkled with our collection of days, the measurable change of our next ten years doesn’t wear as obviously as that of children.

Their changes come swift and fast and full of the blossoms that belong to their becoming. Ours seem less pronounced. Instead, we are given some “down time” so as to better observe the exponential growth of a younger generation and to contemplate the meaning behind it all. If we can get past the “pain” of the pondering, we can glean some understanding that will help us better live our “now”. Understanding that simply says…

Live life like you mean it.

On purpose and with the intention of sowing some good seed into a good soil that will glean as a good harvest somewhere down the road.

I’ve been sowing those seeds in the lives of my children for twenty years now. I haven’t always planted them with purpose; most of the time, my seeds scatter through accidental measure and with little thought of the blossoms to come. But every now and again, a reminder arrives, showing me that all has not been sown in vain. A moment like today, when a younger child recalls the earlier season of an older sibling and shows me just how “alike” they look … how much they share in common. And that, just maybe, in twelve years’ time, my Jadon will grow into a man like my Nick.

Despite the twelve years that separate their ages, despite the time that has flown by rather than crawled, there is a familiar seed that anchors them to the soil of my heart and home. They are my look-alike sons. The two of them, along with the two others, will be, perhaps, the greatest living witnesses as to how I’ve invested my time on this earth … fleeting and otherwise.

I’ve been wrapped up in a great many things for the past several weeks, splitting my time amongst preferences and responsibilities. All the while, my children are milling about in my presence, rarely garnering my notice. It isn’t fair to them; it isn’t fair to me. I’m robbing myself of some moments, and rather than flog myself with regrets, I’m going to slow down a bit and capture some memories in the bottle that I carry around in my pocket.

I imagine I will need them in the days to come. A season when pulling out a remembrance or two will bring me a much needed smile and generous lift to my wearied heart. I cannot forecast the need in the immediate, but when it arises down the road, I’ll be grateful for the time I’ve invested along those lines.

These are memory-making days, friends. Even if you don’t have some look-alikes to make them with, I’ll wager the fact that there is someone God has placed in your path who could use some of your intention, sown on his/her behalf. Let’s spend tonight and tomorrow and the next day doing so—sowing seeds with intention and living life like we mean it.

Thank you for being my friends. The seeds of love you have sown into my life have given me a generous portion of remembrance for the road ahead. What a privilege it is to walk it with you.

As always,

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a worthy pause … God’s worthy cause

“Pray that God restores a place in me…”

That was her request. It haunts me now, some seven hours down the road. She spoke it from a place of absolute brokenness and ample isolation. She also asked me to pray that the devil would stop doing bad things to her … that God would be stronger than the devil and make him sorry for all the evil things he’s been doing in the world.We didn’t talk theology and where she had it “wrong” as it pertained to the devil’s power in relation to God’s power. We simply held hands and ate some lunch and prayed for a better day, all the while sitting on the curb in front of the local Bed, Bath, & Beyond.

I found her there, slumped on a park bench, completely unaware of her surroundings. I’d just finished up my Tuesday lunch with the “ancients”. While making my way to the van, I spied her out of the corner of my eye. People were pointing, commenting, and stepping quickly past her obvious brokenness.

It’s not a sight we see very often in these parts. Our lives are fairly sanitized and void of the “in your face” kind of moments that call for involvement. Yes, we take our mission trips overseas, and we stock the local food pantry, but when it comes to “hands on” and “in the moment”, well, rarely are we presented with the occasion. Thus, when such profound “need” comes knocking, it always warrants my notice; not always my intervention, but certainly my notice.

I’ve been noticing “need” all of my life. I suppose it began as a young child while watching my father’s intervention on behalf of the needy within our community. He has a special place in his heart for them, an even more special knack for intervention. If hugeness of heart is learned, then any measure I possess began at home. I learned from the best. My daddy is a foot-washer, both with the tangibles and the intangibles.

Today, my heart was called upon to remember. And so, rather than leaving the parking lot with regret, I circled back around, rolled down my window and simply shouted,

“Ma’am, are you hungry?”

By this point, she was stumbling down the sidewalk, after having been rudely interrupted from her slumber by a honking horn (apparently someone less comfortable with her “park bench” status). Her bleary eyes and mumbling response assured me of her appetite. I told her I would be back and that she should wait for me.

After what seemed to be an extensive wait at the local Chick-Fil-A, I returned to find my new friend sitting on the curb where I’d left her, barefoot and with the few items she carried strewn around her. She quickly offered me her thanks for the food, confident of my needing to make a quick escape. But I didn’t need to … escape. She was where I needed to be.

I sat down on the curb beside her and shared a half-hour of my day with a woman whose fifty-seven years on this earth have left her with some scars and certain hopelessness. She talked about her three children, especially about the one she aborted long ago and how he/she would have been 38 years old this year. When she discovered that my husband was a pastor, she asked if we could come and be the pastors at a church unfamiliar to me. She assured me they needed a good pastor. I assured her I was married to one and that I would like her to meet him someday.

We talked about other things; some strange “others” and some that made more sense. And then, my new friend, Gail, was ready to leave. I asked her if I could pray for her, and without hesitation, she grabbed for my hands and uttered a small request for some restoration within her own heart. Her words; not mine.

For all of the things she could have asked for, for all of the ways her conversation seemed to wander and weave in confusion, when it came to prayer, she asked from a place of understanding. She knew she was in need of God’s restorative power in her life. And so for a few moments, I prayed. Others milled past our make-shift altar with quiet conversation and knowing glances.

And then, as quickly as our sacred intersection had arrived, it passed. I hugged Gail, returned to my van, and she returned to her wandering. Even now, I can’t type these words without some painful tears of remembrance and a few questions alongside.

Does compassion have a limit? If so, what’s mine? Where does it end? Is thirty minutes enough? Should I have done more, been more, given more, loved more? Where do my needs end so that hers can have ample time and room enough to know a deeper sustenance beyond a chicken sandwich and a few moments of conversation? Should I have said more about Jesus, been more declarative about the truth I hold in my heart?

I couldn’t look at her feet, Heidi, and not think about washing them … literally. Not just her feet, but her entire body that signaled it had been a long time since her last shower. But I didn’t offer her a basin. Instead, I came home and immediately washed my own hands and thought about taking a shower to further separate me from the unpleasant smell.

I’m conflicted about it all, and quite honestly, I don’t know what to do with these feelings that wrap themselves around such “open-ended” moments of ministry. Chicken sandwiches aren’t cutting it for me; most assuredly, they’re not cutting it for her. Not really. Seems a pitiful offering when the need is so great.

Still and yet, I suppose it’s something. A beginning, perhaps. The seeding of a further wrestling that seems to be growing in me now more than ever before.

There’s got to be more to my mission on this planet than my words and my feeble attempts at pacifying a temporary ache. I know I can’t be all things to all people; who needs that kind of guilt? But, maybe, I can offer a good thing to the few people who God so graciously scripts into my every day and my along the way. Wasn’t that the lifeblood of his ministry here on earth?

The everyday and along the way? The one over the many? Jesus never rushed his earthly encounters with his created. Instead, he offered people his time and his undivided attention. He even offered a basin and a towel and the humbled posture to cleanse the needs of a very dirty people in order to make them ready for very difficult walk to the cross.

He’s still doing it, and he’s using the likes of you and me as his conduits of reconciliation. He’s entrusted us with a great deal; seems a bit risky to me, for I am well-aware of all the times I could’ve, should’ve offered grace at a deeper level. I’m not there yet, but I’m growing closer in my need to do so. Christ’s love compels me along these lines.

I want to walk like Jesus and touch like Jesus and give the “Gail’s” of this world the peace and restoration that their hearts are hungering for so that, indeed, the devil will get his due and my God will get his glory. I don’t always believe God for the restoration of lives that seem so lost … so far gone and so deeply broken. Tonight I confess my unbelief and ask God for Gail’s complete restoration, for the tiny spark that was lit this afternoon to flame into a full-blown fire of holy cleansing within her heart.

I don’t know what that might look like for her in days to come, but I believe God knows the best way to get there. I only wish I might have done more.

Next time.

By the grace of God, next time, thus I pray…

Grow my heart to a Jesus-sized heart, Father. One that doesn’t put boundaries on love; one that is willing to bend and to wash and to pray until restoration finds its home within the brokenhearted. Forgive me for my complacency and move my will to action on behalf of the kingdom. Guard my friend, Gail, this night with your careful watch and tender care. For all of the demons that assail her flesh and invade her mind, speak your peace and freedom over them all. Let this be the day of her new birth and understanding in you, Lord, and remind her of your love and mine with every step she takes. Thank you for intersecting my life with hers, and should our paths never cross again on this side of eternity, I pray for her salvation that will land her in my path when I get home to you. Break my heart for your people, again and again and again until I no longer have an agenda of my own but only one that lives and breathes for you. Amen.

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Walking Our Assignment…

“See to it that no one misses the grace of God…” (Hebrews 12:15).

 

This morning, Spurgeon has me thinking about the Israelites’ tribal progression through the wilderness and how this relates to my own progression through mine.

I’m pretty sure I have some “Judahite” blood running through my veins. They were the leaders in the journey; in charge and in front … those given the privilege of a “first glimpse” of the road ahead without the worry of what’s been left behind. Visionary walking suits me. I like being the one trusted with the unfolding of a promise.

I think, perhaps, I have some “Levite” blood coursing through my veins. They found their place throughout the progression. Some in front, carrying the Ark of the Covenant, some in the middle of the pack, charged with the task of carrying the tabernacle and its furnishings. Regardless of their position, their responsibility was all things “worship-related”. “Set-apart” and consecrated walking is also a good fit for me. I like being the one trusted with the sacred things of God.

But the Danites? Those at the rear and trusted with the responsibility of clean up … a final look-over for the “left-behinds”? The last to set up camp and the last to see God’s “up ahead”? Well, I don’t think I’d choose it, but then again, I don’t imagine the choosing is up for grabs.

Some days we lead; some days we clean-up. There is merit and purpose in both positions. We don’t always see it this way. What we see is our position in relation to those around us. We are tempted to measure our “holy” worth by what our brothers and sisters are doing, forgetting all the while that the role we’ve been given is vital and necessary as it pertains to us corporately walking through to God’s land of promise.

God doesn’t intend for our journey of grace to walk in isolation. He means for us to step it in unison as his holy tribe, set apart for his consecration and en route to a completed end. To get there, we must be willing to walk our assigned positions with the understanding that God has ordered our steps and that he is faithful to make each one of them count for kingdom gain.

The trouble comes when we begin to think that we could “order” better … that somehow our wisdom exceeds God’s. Instead of seeing the worth in the place we’ve been assigned, we jockey ourselves for a front position, giving little credence and credibility to our seasons of “in the middle” or “at the back”.

Do you ever wonder if God grows weary with our assessment regarding his assignment for our lives? I’m certain I’ve nearly exasperated his patience along the way … times when I’ve frantically pushed my way “from the back” to try and make a place for myself “at the front”. Some days, I nearly exhaust myself from the spiritual gymnastics of trying to land myself in the place of my choosing.

What a waste of time.

I think we diminish God’s kingdom purpose when we allow ourselves the freedom to roam between camps, squandering time and expending energy on things that aren’t intended for our consideration. In doing so, we delay the process of our holy progression. How much better would it be to pitch our tents in the place of God’s intention and get busy with the assignments lying within our borders rather than reaching for a task never intended for our hands?

For the Danites, that assignment measured out differently than that of the Judahites and the Levites, yet all were equal in worth as it pertained to their moving on with God. All assignments were given with the end result in mind—getting to the Promised Land in tact and with the consecrated faith that comes from walking in corporate trust with God and his people rather than stepping in selfish isolation.

This is our wilderness pilgrimage, friends. Right here; right now. The life we live between two points—our birth and our burial—is the march of faith entrusted to our wandering hearts. This is our desert assignment. Life on earth is but our bridge to the life we will live in the full promise and truth of God’s forever.

Getting there isn’t an easy walk. It means pitching our tents in the place of God’s choosing and making it home until he loosens the pegs and pushes us onward. It means taking our rightful place within his ordered understanding and relinquishing our thoughts about how we could do it better. It means viewing our progression from different vantage points and being incredibly thankful with the fact we’ve been given the eyes to vision God’s promise in any measure, regardless of our positions.

It means keeping to the truth of kingdom perspective and making sure that no one, no single person placed within our allowable reach, misses the grace of God and, therefore, misses the march of freedom.

Perhaps this is the worth of walking with some Danite bloodlines, the beauty of standing “at the back” and with a fuller picture in view. They were the clean-up crew. When the Judahites and the other-“ites” missed a few stragglers—those who were forgotten and mistakenly looked-over in the chaos and confusion of moving ahead—the Danites were charged with their inclusion. With making sure that the “left-behinds” had the opportunity to walk the road of Promise.

I don’t know your position this day. Some of you are in the lead; some are muddled down in the middle, and some of you are hunkered down at the rear. Some of you don’t like your position. I understand. I’ve harbored similar feelings in seasons past; I imagine it won’t be the last time I find my discontent regarding my assigned position. Regardless of our place in the line-up of grace’s procession, we are all charged with its dispensation. With making sure that no one misses out on God’s journey of promise.

And when we take hold of that understanding, that we all are entrusted with a great grace from a great God to be a great influencer regarding a great kingdom, then any position we’ve been assigned becomes holy ground, consecrated and set apart for a great purpose.

It’s a great day to be a kingdom walker and to share this desert wandering with you, my friends. This week, I’m standing with the Danites as part of the clean-up crew … maybe even for the next season of my life. Where have you been called to stand this day? Don’t worry. If you feel left behind in the “push” forward, I’ve got you covered. So does God. You won’t be left behind. This is the beauty of our corporate walk together.

As always, my prayer and hope is for you to know your God more fully in this moment because of your spending some time with me at “peace for the journey”. We serve the only God who can be known. The more we press into his truth, the greater our understanding about who he IS.

Think on him this day, and be thankful for your position within the march to freedom … to Promise. I love you each one.

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PS: If you would like to study further regarding the Israelites’ march to Promise, Numbers 2 is a good place to start.

WIP

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).

Silence.

It really is golden.

At least it seems that way to me in this moment. Tonight, I’m sitting in my parent’s living room, forty-five miles away from the usual noise of my very chaotic and everyday life. My dad has vacated to an upstairs bedroom where he’s watching the All-Star game. Mom and me?

Well, we’re where we usually are … in our recliners downstairs, channel surfing for a good movie to entertain us when the nine o’clock hour arrives. Slim pickin’s, I’m afraid. Thus, we’ve settled in for more of what we’ve been doing for most of the afternoon…

editing my WIP (that’s writer lingo for “work in progress”).

There’s no better editor, friends, and the price is right. I’m pretty sure my mother’s been dotting her “i’s” and crossing her “t’s” from the womb. Nothing slips past her grammatical eye; at least I hope it doesn’t. Not this time. This time, I need it to count. This time, I need her critical input because I want my “work in progress” to be its best. To read its best. To put its best “words” forward in order to point others back the Word … Jesus Christ.

Mother is well-suited for the job. She’s been editing my life for the past forty-three years, always keeping my “sentences” in check and watching out for my “danglings” in whatever form they may come (I know, mom, it’s not a word, but it seems to fit with the flow of things … please forgive).

She’s been my critical eye because, quite honestly, I’ve needed her to be. She’s not intrusive; far from it. She’s simply available for the edit. She wants my life to read its best and for me to put my best “words” forward in order to point others back to the Word.

Isn’t that a worthy calling? A high and noble calling, not just for a mother but for all of us? To always be in the process of a life’s edit so as to “read” at level best, pointing others back to the person of Jesus Christ?

Most assuredly, we won’t “catch” everything. Even the best manuscripts boast an occasional typo or two or dozen that slip past the scrutiny of an expert editor like my mother. Typos are part of our humanity, reminding us that full perfection lies just out of reach and on the other side of a final edit. But does that mean we shouldn’t try? That we shouldn’t allow our words and our lives some raw exposure before a few trusted people and allow them a critical eye in the process of our becoming?

Our “becoming” was designed with corporate input in mind, for the back and forth editing of each other’s lives. Never as a tool for diminishing a life’s worth, but as an instrument for moving that life toward a better perfection. A better read. A better WIP, filled with words and plots and intrigue that catches the attention and interest of the reader and points him/her back to Jesus.

I want an edited life friends. Average and adequate no longer interest me. I’m after better. In fact, I’d settle for a best-seller. My book may never make that list, but in the end, the book is just extra. What matters to me is my life, and I’m counting on it “reading” better in a week’s time than how it reads today.

To get there, I choose exposure.

To my mom and my dad. To my husband and my children. To my church and my community. To strangers and friends alike. To God, the Spirit and the Son. To everyone and to each situation, I offer my life for the edit.

I may not always willingly receive the revisions, but by God’s grace and with his help, I endeavor to grow with the process. To be a WIP, opened for the reading and, hopefully, with words enough to point others back Jesus.

He is the Author and Perfecter, the Finisher of my manuscript. Even so, come and write my life this night, Lord Jesus. Thus, I pray…

For a mother who edits, I thank you, Lord. For a Father who edits, all the more! I don’t know the final plans you have for my current WIP, but I am forever grateful for the end you have planned for my life. Write me and revise me according to that end, not mine. Give me the wisdom to bend to your pen and the humility to bow to your correction. I want to be your best read. I want my life to point others back to you. Edit me for kingdom purposes, and keep me ever mindful of the privilege I hold in having you as my Publisher. Amen.

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