Category Archives: pilgrimage

going “in”

I am exceedingly weary tonight, and my heart is greatly troubled. It’s just how it is. I cannot escape my tiredness, nor can I deny the heaviness I feel in my spirit. As much as I would like to be in this place, to take the time to fill up this space with words, I cannot. There’s simply not enough of me to go around this week. Accordingly I pull back, lay low, and retreat behind these walls that are strong, safe, and guarded.

We need them, you know—our boundaries. We shouldn’t fear them; we should celebrate them, crawl inside of them when the world demands its due. It’s sometimes hard to go in, sometimes difficult to put aside the temporal pull of our humanity. But harder still, is the struggle to stay out … be out … live out in the sea of humanity—a world that is not always kind and generous with its grace.

In is where I’ll find grace and generosity. In is where kindness lives. In is where Jesus is. In is where I must go until it’s safe to go out again.

Until then, sweet, tender peace for the journey, friends. I love you each one.

hungry

“Then she arose with her daughters-in-law to return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the fields of Moab that the LORD had visited his people and given them food.” –Ruth 1:6

My husband noticed my disconnect with my immediate surroundings. While my kids busied themselves with the lunch buffet at CiCi’s Pizza, I was busy with my thoughts, feeling the depths of a hunger that couldn’t be satisfied by a slice of pepperoni. My hunger went deeper than theirs.

“Hello . . . Elaine . . . where are you? Aren’t you going to eat?” So asked my husband once we were seated at our table. I didn’t directly answer his questions. Instead I simply offered up this declaration: “When we finish here, Billy, we need to go the Lifeway Store. I need to get something.” He didn’t offer any objections (he never does); he simply nodded his understanding and his willingness to take care of my deeper hunger.

Hunger. I’ve been noticing mine for a few weeks. A yearning to be filled with something more than the temporal. A yearning to be filled with God’s Word. On Sunday, I spent the church hour with a few children, trying to define God’s Word. We made scrolls, wrote down some words on parchment to better help us understand the witness of the Bible. God’s Word . . .

  • is flawless (Ps. 12:6),
  • is living and active (Heb. 4:12),
  • is right and true (Ps. 33:4),
  • is life (John 6:63),
  • is not-chained (2 Tim. 2:9),
  • is near (Deut. 30:14),
  • never fails (1 Kings 8:56),
  • heals (Ps. 107:20),
  • runs swiftly (Ps. 147:14-16),
  • never passes away (Luke 21:33).

We had a fun time discovering what God’s Word is, a good learning for young minds. A good learning for older minds as well, especially if it sticks—if it causes minds, young and old, to make a change in behavior.

Twenty-four hours later, with these words in mind (especially words like “near” and “runs swiftly”), I made a trip to the Lifeway Store where I knew my soul would find nourishment. I needed a Bible study, a structured way of engaging my heart with God’s Word. Normally, I know what I’m looking for when I head into this Christian bookstore, but not this time. Instead, I simply perused the shelves, believing that the right study would make itself known to me. It did. This is what I purchased. Ruth: loss, love, and legacy by Kelly Minter. Why this selection?

Honestly, I like the cover, especially the red shoes. Oh, and the suitcase (you know I’m all about the journey). And the way the book feels in my hands? Well, it feels special, soft and crinkly in just the right places (don’t tell me a cover isn’t important). And it is six weeks in length, not video driven, and most importantly, this study requires me to do some digging and some writing. It really doesn’t matter to me the biblical subject matter; what matters to me is my engagement with that subject matter. I won’t absorb a book written about Ruth as much as I will a study that requires my participation.

And so, Ruth and I will be spending some time together over the next few weeks. Yes, it was a random purchase, but after two lessons, I’m convinced that it’s a good fit for my heart in this season. Already, I’m swept away by Naomi and Ruth’s return to Bethlehem (a word meaning “bread”) for bread . . . for food to fill their stomachs that would end up filling their souls.

I am not so unlike my spiritual ancestors. I, too, need bread for my soul, and so I return to the one place that I know will fill me up to overflow. I return to God’s table, to Jesus and his Word—the bread of heaven that sustains my heart for the journey forward. God’s Word is near and runs swiftly to my need. It’s near you as well and is ready to fill the hungering ache within.

Are you studying God’s Word this summer? If not, why not? What do you love most about Bible study? What is God teaching you through his Word? This is not a time to shrink back in our faith, friends. This is a time of sacred investment. I encourage you to find a good study, grab the Good Book, and steal away to a quiet place reserved for just God and you. Allow the life-giving, active, flawless, unchained, healing, and never failing Word of God to feed you, transform you, strengthen you, and enliven you for the walk of faith.

There’s no time like the present time to have a meal with the King! He’s made a place at the table for you this day. As always…

Peace for the journey,
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when God speaks a “something” over you…

“. . . the word of the LORD tested him.” –Psalm 105:19

Sometimes he tells me. Sometimes keeping it inside pins him down . . . pushes him down where the pain hurts deeply and the tears flow easily. Sometimes the world slams cruelly and unfairly into him, moving him to the outer edges of what’s reasonable. Sometimes it’s just too much. Last night was one of those times.

And so he told me . . . laid down beside me, took my hand and shared with me the deepest ache of his heart.

 “Elaine, I can’t give in to this despair. Even when I want to, I can’t, because I believe that at any moment, on any given day, God might show me that something I’ve been waiting to see. And if I give in to despair, I’ll miss it–God’s something. And baby, I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want you to miss it either, so I’ll keep holding on for both of us.”

And then I broke, lying there beside my man. Hand in hand. Hearts aching together. Hearts longing for, looking for, and believing in that something . . . God’s something. A something spoken over our lives a season ago that brought us to this place, this space, this dot on the map named ministry.

A long time ago, there was a boy on the verge of manhood, a seventeen-year-old dreamer named Joseph (see Genesis 37-40). God, too, spoke a something into his heart. A dream or two about taking the lead, about rising to the occasion, about being the man in a season yet to come. What incredible privilege to hold such holy affirmation, confirmation in one’s heart—to be told in advance that you’ll be needed, you’ll be trusted, you’ll be used by God in a mighty way! Joseph’s dreams were far grander than his reality, and to pack all that truth inside his heart only to be cruelly taunted by that truth . . . for years? Well, lesser men would have given in to their despair, would have wilted under confinement, and would have stopped anticipating God’s greater move . . . God’s grander something.

But Joseph wasn’t a lesser man. Neither is my man. Both of them, God’s men—God’s appointed leadership despite a long season of taunts to the contrary. Like Joseph, my husband is a man willing to believe in a dream and to keep his feet and faith planted on the path that will move him closer to seeing that dream become a reality, even when that path feels like a dead-end.

There are no dead-ends with God. Only living ones. Living-ends with the Lover and Creator of our souls. The dreams that God breathes into our hearts, the plans that he has for us, the thoughts that he thinks toward us, well, they are holy. Consecrated. Truthful. Enduring. God’s dreams for our lives arrive with a pulse and with a promise—that he who began a very good and gracious work inside of us will be faithful to see it through to completion (Phil. 1:6). Dreams that begin and end there—with God—are dreams that cannot be thwarted, only anticipated.

And so, today, my man anticipates. With one hand, he grips the dream—God’s something—and with the other hand, he grips me. He pulls me toward anticipation . . . toward the dream, and I am swallowed up by the quicksand of his faith. I’m drawn into it, immersed in the raw and gritty determination of the dream, and that which began as a great pain in my husband’s heart last night has transformed into a great strength for both of us this day. Once again, we give our hearts and our hands to this place, this space, this dot on the map named ministry.

Today just might be the day when the dream awakens to reality. I don’t want to miss it should it arrive. As always…

Peace for the journey,
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PS: Many thanks to all of you for entering the give-away. Unfortunately, only two winners this go around, and they are… Jane Babich and Kathie! Ladies, please contact me with via e-mail with your mailing information. Jane, I don’t have any contact info for you. Thanks.

an official welcome and give-away

Sixteen changes of address. I counted today, and that’s how many I can credit to my life history. I’ve probably missed one or two, and I’m certain I’m not finished. What I am certain of is the temperamental nature of the moving process. It’s an intricate, delicate course of action and shouldn’t be undertaken lightly.

Accordingly, when I contemplated “moving” my website from blogger to wordpress, I did so with some fear and trembling. It’s not been an easy move for me, but thanks to Jen @ Blue Yonder Design, things are settling down, and I’m learning how to rest in my new home. Jen has graciously worked out some of the kinks and quirks that inevitably come with making such a move. The best part about my moving (unlike the sixteen moves I’ve made with a moving van) is the fact that you made this move with me! When I arrived at my new home on WordPress Avenue, you were here, welcoming me into your lives, even as you have been welcoming me for the past four years. It is a blessing and honor to “do life” with you!

Along those lines, I’d like to open up my front door today, welcome you in, and offer you an opportunity to win a few housewarming gifts. Two of you will receive a package at your front door containing the following items (some of my very favorite things):

My good friend, Rebecca, makes jewelry. In particular, she’s a beader. Over the last few weeks, we’ve spent some time together, designing a survivor’s bracelet that will be available for purchase when my book, Beyond Cancer’s Scars, is released this summer. In the meantime, she whipped up these two beauties for me to use as part of my house-warming give-away.

And how about these beautiful note cards, photographed by my friend, Cindy! I use her cards on a regular basis, always to great applause by the recipients. If you’re a card-sender, check out Cindy’s website to order a set.

Audrey Assad. Heard of her? This is her latest musical compilation. I adore her and am glad to be able to share her work with you.

Last but certainly not least, there are two of my favorite fellas—Harry & David. Ever had them over for dessert? Oh my. Any of their delicacies will do, but the dark-chocolate covered raisins are some of my favorites. Yes, I’m going to try and include them in the give-away despite the onset of summer (subject to change due to extreme weather in your area).

And there you have it. A few of my favorite things to two of you, my gracious, faithful readers. For a chance to win, leave a comment here telling me one of your favorite things about your home. It could be something as huge as a big screen television or as small as a favorite spot to have your morning coffee. What delights are lurking in your home? You can earn another chance to win by sharing this post on your facebook and/or twitter pages. Be sure to leave me a separate comment letting me know. This contest will remain open until midnight, Sunday, May 27th. Two winners will be chosen by random drawing.

Again, thank you for the privilege of allowing me into your life and for joining me on the journey of faith. There are days when my world feels pretty small. Having you here enlarges it. I love you all so very much. As always…

Peace for the journey,
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walking all the day long…

“What… do you just walk all day long?”

So asked my neighbor while pulling out of his driveway this morning. I broke routine with my walking today. Normally, I wait until the afternoon before hitting the pavement. That’s when he usually walks, our paths almost always crossing. Thus, the reason behind his humorous remark to me.

I know he didn’t really mean it… didn’t really assume that I walked all day long; it was just his way of connecting with me. But after he pulled away, I thought about his question, his false assumption—that I was an all-day walker. What would that look like… walking all day? What if my daily focus was more about the steps I am taking rather than the ones I’m not? What if life was more about moving forward rather than staying in place? How differently might my heart beat… my faith beat if I kept a steady pace 24-7? If heart-health is attached to foot work, then a full day’s worth of walking would yield a stronger foundation, don’t you think?

The problem is… I’m not an all-day walker. I’m a part-time walker. I walk some of each day… try to clock in at least an hour and 10,000 steps on my pedometer. But when the prescribed stepping is over, I am tempted to rest. To stop my forward progression in favor of the couch and the four walls that often serve as confinement rather than refreshment.

As it goes with my physical walking, so it goes with my spiritual walking. Oh that I could walk with faith, in faith all day long—an all-day faith walker! Now that kind of movement would yield some heart-health.

Faith doesn’t stop when the prescribed number of steps has been mastered. Faith keeps moving forward. Faith isn’t cultivated on the couch; faith is cultivated on the streets where movement isn’t an option but rather a requirement for those wanting to find their way home. When faith stops walking, faith stops growing. And a faith that stops growing is a faith in danger of quitting. Stopping. Relinquishing all hope for and in the promise of home.

So, for the love of home and God and heart-health, let’s get moving, friends. Let’s get off the couch of spiritual bankruptcy and start walking forward in faith. Make your goal, even as I’m making it mine, to be an all-day faith walker, so that others won’t have to wonder about our walking “all day long.” Instead, they’ll just know it’s the truth.

Movement wins. I’ll meet you on the road. As always…

Peace for the journey,

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