“For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” (2 Chronicles 16:9a).
Some days you get the Audience you’re after.
Some days you receive the inconceivable light of heaven in a way that allows you a glimpse of a Father’s astounding glory.
Some days your spirit runs in the freedom of a hard fought surrender.
Today was one of those days for me.
There has been a laying down of some dreams, my friends. A profound moment of clarity that has come to my soul and one that is rarely allowed by the flesh. But this flesh is tired and weary of the pursuit. Not of the dream, but of thinking that it has to blow in the direction of my well-intentioned breath. It doesn’t have to. Not anymore. That is the beauty of surrender. It frees the heart to live in the dreams of a holier wind that breathes with a better intent.
I have tasted this deep clarity twice before. But their witness awaits another day. Today’s witness belongs to an early morning altar christened by the willing tears of sacrifice. They still flow—these tears of mine. No longer sad, but rather as sweet and cleansing and with the joy of the resurrection that follows a sacred dying.
I don’t write my thoughts this night to push the envelope with my Father…to micro-manage a favorable end to the story. I write it here because my Father has already pushed the envelope with me, and he desires to be the one to manage my end in his favor.
I chronicle this point in my journey with you because there are some things–some points of worship and surrender in our lives–that need the witness of words. Why?
Because after an altar’s bow, there always comes a day when God moves on our behalf in a more perfect direction. And when that happens, we can come back to our stone of remembrance and cry out the words of the prophet Samuel…
“Thus far has the LORD helped us.” (1 Samuel 7:12).
The Lord has helped me. It matters not the sacrifice. What matters is the peace that has arrived with the letting go. God has brought me to the end of my striving, and today I raise my Ebenezer in praise knowing that new seeds—sacred seeds—have been planted within the soil of this heart.
I punctuated my soul’s stir with an early morning run. The sky was clouded with grey, yet my heart was filled with the praise of release. The first song that cycled through my IPOD was the one embedded below. As the chorus echoed deep within my soul and through these lips, the clouds broke, and I received the Audience that I was after.
I like to think that there was something about my song that caught the attention of heaven and her King. He’s certainly caught mine, and so I pray…
You, my Father, are my amazing Best. You have strengthened my heart for the journey this day. My heart…my today, tomorrow, and my rest belong to you. Whatever you choose to do with my surrender is your choice, not mine. Humbly and with the heart of joyful release, I commit to the road of your forever. It’s yours to navigate. Bring me safely home to you. Amen.
~elaine
Thank you for allowing me to share my heart this night. We will return with our final “Zoo Pondering” sometime this weekend. And if you think about it, I sure would appreciate your prayers for the workteam returning tomorrow from Bolivia. They won’t be home until the early morning hours on Sunday. Shalom!
