Category Archives: theology

Beyond Zero

Beyond Zero

“My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:15-16).

“Mom, when I was born was I zero?”

I knew what she meant even as she spoke these words from her tender heart. Three other children had prepared me for such a question. She wanted to know when we began to count her days. Did her days begin on August 5, 2002, or did some other time span factor in? I was quick to respond.

“Honey, you have never been a zero. We began to count your days long before we saw your face. God began to count your days even before then.”

She stared out the window, her curiosity satisfied, as mine began its ascent.

When does life begin? Is there ever a point of “zero-ness”? A moment of nothing that suddenly explodes into everything? How would you respond to such a question? Your answer embodies your theology.

Long before Amelia made her entrance into our lives, she stole the stage of her Father’s thoughts. I never imagined having a daughter. If it had been up to me, there would have only been three. But in a moment unbeknownst to me, God imagined her. He determined her entrance. He determined her exit. All of her days he determined…before one cry resounded from her lips.

For some mysterious reason, he chose the confines of my womb to house her unformed body, as he carefully put frame and flesh to his wild imaginings. He fashioned her in my likeness and implanted within her emotions of the same severity. He knew this would bring me delight, as my three sons bare only a slight resemblance. Indeed, she is cut from my cloth by the same hands Who cut me from my mother’s. Who knitted me together and adorned my life with splashes of untamed color and limitless possibilities.

He set eternity into her heart long before I would hear its pulse (Ecc. 3:11). Indeed, who can fathom what God has done from beginning to end? His thoughts are not my thoughts. They are higher and far more sacred than mine. They are innumerable and vast…outnumbering the grains of the sand (Psalm 139:17-18). And yet it is those thoughts…that one thought in the mind of my God…that shatters my known realities and brings me to surrendered knees every time I think upon it.

Human life has never been a “zero.” Those who speak chronologically…politically and correctly…well, they give us a starting point. Life begins at birth. But I have never quite understood political correctness. I speak the language of my Father, and I believe that life begins before birth. I believe that life begins before conception. Life begins in the thoughts of God.

In the genesis of all beginnings, God hovered over his waters. Somewhere in the vast brushstrokes of this earth’s conception…between seemingly “nothing” and everything…God’s breath began to move the waves in rhythm with his will. Somewhere there…in the mind of the most mysterious and yet One and only accessible God, we were in his thoughts. We were the intended outcome of his six day extravaganza. The first five days were simply a prelude to our unveiling—to our center stage moment that received a “very good”…from the lips of our Audience.

He knows the thoughts he thinks toward us. Thoughts of peace, and not of evil. Thoughts of an expected end. Plans and a future filled with prospering hope and possibilities (Jeremiah 29:11). He determines the times set for us and the exact places where we should live. The generation in which we will live. He did this so that we would seek him (Acts 17:26-28). So that we would reach beyond our known realities and search for deeper Truth. Better Truth. Truer Truth. The only Truth that matters in the end. For in the end…

Jesus is the Way…the Truth…and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through him, and I want to meet my Father…face to face. So I will accept the unknowns of this life, knowing that one day I will have my answers. For all of the mysteries that he holds hidden within his heart, there is one mystery that is perfectly clear within mine.

I am not a zero. Never have been. Neither have you. You are the creative genius of a God who ordained all of your days before one of them came into being. Your life took planning. Even if your parents did not plan your existence…your God did. He has spent an eternity watching you take shape in his mind, and now he is pleased to introduce you to his world. You are the sixth day punctuation point of your Father’s heart. Never underestimate your beginning. Never “get over” Who awaits you at your end.

In closing, I ask you to consider, once again, the question of my daughter’s heart.

“Mom, when I was born was I zero?”

What do you think? Does she look like a zero? Search your heart, even as I have searched mine. Do so with some fear and trembling under the mighty guidance of your Creator. Casual pondering leads to casual theology. And so I pray, alongside you…

Father, search my heart. Deepen my understanding of my beginning. Give me a sacred theology, one that most closely resembles who you really are. Let me not be swayed by earthly opinion…by tainted religions and philosophies that demean the process of your Creation. Give me your perspective on human life. A higher and clearer perspective that values your thoughts more than man’s limited realities. Shake my realities, Lord, until they fall in line with the Truth. Thank you that I have always been your constant thought and never a zero. May you always be my Constant. Beginning to end…all of my days belonging to you. Amen.

peace for the journey~elaine
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A Sacred Theology

“Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, ‘Son of David, have mercy on me!’ Jesus stopped and said, ‘Call him.’ So they called to the blind man, ‘Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.’ Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. ‘What do you want me to do for you? Jesus asked him. The blind man said, ‘Rabbi, I want to see.’” (Mark 10:48-51).

I did not like the song the first time I heard it. I love the singers of the song. I love the melody of the song. I simply do not like the lyrics of the song. I wanted to like it. I have tried to ignore my reasons for not liking it, but when my college age son asked me last night as to my “thoughts” about the song, my spirit confirmed my gut.

Anytime a song invokes the name of God, my ears pay close attention. When God’s character becomes the central theme of a song, my theology pays attention. The more that I come to know my God, the more protective I am about his reputation. My walk with Christ is not casual or coincidental. I do not participate in this faith journey because of convenience. No, my walk with God is an intentional pursuit of the Sacred. Rarely is it convenient, and never is it coincidental.

I take my God seriously. The defense of his character is a sacred privilege. So when a “casual theology” makes its way into the lyrics of a song, I take pause to consider its merit.

The song is called, “God Must Be Busy,” sung by the beloved country duo, Brooks and Dunn. It chronicles the tragedies of life. War, tornados, missing children, and unemployment. Gangs, droughts, and financial woes. Indeed, these topics are the “makings” of a good country song. But it is the fifty-two word chorus that exceeds the boundaries of good country music to voice a theology that does not match up with mine. How does it match up with yours?

“And I know in the big picture, I’m just a speck of sand.
And God’s got better things to do than look out for one man.
I know He’s heard my prayers, ‘cause He hears everything.
He just ain’t answered back or He’d bring you back to me.
God must be busy.”[i]

A busy God. A God who hears, but yet a God whose agenda leads him past a single man’s need to focus, instead, on better things. Bigger needs. A God who does not answer prayers because the sands of the many exceed the speck of the one.

Our God is not too busy. In fact, the characterization of “busy” does not fit with an Almighty Creator. It is a casual and convenient limitation, placed upon a limitless God when life does not make sense. When prayers seem to go unnoticed and, ultimately, unanswered. When blindness boasts its habitation within a soul. No, when we typify our God as busy, we speak of God, as Job would say, “with words without knowledge.”

Jesus Christ shattered such a casual theology on the day that his feet hit the sands of an inconvenient, intentional walk of redemption. Scripture is seasoned with occasions when Christ prioritized the need of the one over the needs of the many. It was not an approach that his disciples easily embraced. After all, Christ was a sought after commodity. He had places to go. People to heal. Parties to attend. Seas to walk. Crowds to feed. Hillside podiums and temple classrooms to mount.

But along his scheduled way to the masses, Jesus always made his way to the one. To the bleeding. To the dying. To the lame and to the shamed. To the leprous and to the lonely. Wherever Jesus walked, his mercy companioned his steps. And it was this mercy that led Jesus, some 2000 years ago, to stop along his Jericho pilgrimage to answer a blind man’s cry for help.

“‘Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me.’”

The disciples wanted to push on. Jesus wanted to pause, and over time, his disciples would learn that Jesus’ pause always trumped their push.

“But Jesus stopped and said, ‘Call him.’ So they called to the blind man, ‘Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.’”

The blind man was summoned to his Savior’s side and was given the opportunity to voice his need.

“‘What do you want me to do for you?’ Jesus asked him.”

His response was the right one.

“‘I want to see.’”

Jesus gave him his heart’s desire. He gave him his sight. And in a moment’s pause, a beggar once blind, opened his eyes for the first time to embrace the eyes of Mercy…face to face. His intentional pursuit of God was trumped by God’s intentional pursuit of him. One on one. Creator to his created. A sacred theology that I can, and willingly do embrace.

God has always been about us. From the beginning of time, he has been in holy pursuit of us. He listens for our voice as we cry out to him for mercy. Never once does he “push” past our pain. Never does the need of the masses hinder him from stopping to tend to the need of our one. He is faithful to pause in the midst of our cries and to ask of us what he asked of Bartimaeus so long ago…

What do you want me to do for you?

This is not the question of a busy God. This is a question of entreaty from a God who lovingly waits for a response.

How would you answer his question this day? What do you want him to do for you? He made the journey to Calvary so that you would have the sacred privilege of voicing your answer. He will never force your reply. He only asks because he is our Abba Father, and our Daddy longs to give good gifts to his children.

Oh friends, be of good cheer this day! Come to your feet and cast the cloak of your want aside. Jesus the Savior is calling you. This is the day to receive your sight. To embrace a sacred theology…a better and bigger theology that extends beyond the temporal. Our God is big, and he is worthy of our defense. Let us press on to know him more, so that when the world asks, we will be able to give a reason for the hope that we have.

No higher privilege exists for us as his ministers of reconciliation, and so I pray…

Mold my mind to understand the fullness of your character, Lord. Never let me limit Who you are. Quicken my spirit to false theologies, so that I may defend your holy and sacred Name. Thank you for all the times that you have paused to consider my pleas. You are ever with me, Lord. You are ever listening, Father. You are ever shaping my vision for kingdom living. Thank you for bringing sight to these weary and blinded eyes. Let the words of this mouth and the meditation of this heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer (Ps. 19:14). Amen.

peace for the journey~elaine
[i] Brooks and Dunn, “God Must Be Busy,” Cowboy Town, 2007.

Love Tied to a Tree

Love Tied to a Tree

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (1 John 4:9-10).

I would have missed it if had done what I had wanted to do.

What I wanted to do was to sleep. What I did, instead, was to put on my running shoes and head outdoors for a little bit of routine and a whole lot of boring. As I was lacing up my shoes, I told the Lord that this was a choice of my will…not of my “want to.” He was going to have to push me out the door and get my feet to moving. After all, my flesh is weak and usually defaults to my wants. He agreed with my assessment. So he pushed, and before long, my “want to” caught up with my will as I found my stride along the path of my usual.

The weather was cool and crisp, reminding me that winter’s end has not yet come. The sun’s brilliancy reminded me that a spring’s blossom is just around the bend. With ipod blaring and the pavement beneath my feet, I quickly found my rhythm, believing that the benefits of such an obedience would outweigh the boring.

Benefits that include…

Better health.
Better mind.
Better spirit.

God has always used my time outdoors to accomplish this three-fold blessing. The mingling of flesh with my mind and spirit encompasses the full package. It is therapy of the cheapest, yet sometimes, most profound kind. I allow God to teach me in these moments. I open up my eyes to see, my ears to hear, and my mind to conceive the possibilities of all that he wants to reveal.

Today was no different. As I rounded the corner of mile one, my vision was captured by a scene that I shall not soon forget. Caught in the brambles of barren tree branches and contrasted against the brilliancy of the blue sky, was a shimmering red bundle of something. The height of that something made its identification difficult, but as I drew closer, my suspicions were confirmed.

That bundle of “something” was in fact a bouquet of balloons. Valentine’s balloons. Somebody’s “something” had blown away in the night amidst the winds of a tempestuous storm. Somebody’s expression of love had left its intended home to now find its home amongst the tangled branches of a wintering tree. Somebody’s surprise traversed the landscape to now become my surprise, and I could not escape the sacred possibilities of such a revelation.

Love, in the form of a Valentine, made its way to this tree to teach me. Love tied itself to this tree to give me a blessing…a “Happy Valentine’s Day” blessing. Love, battered by the winds of change, tangled itself smack dab in the middle of this tree whose grip was tight and who kept it there long enough for me to notice. Long enough for me to receive the benefits of such an engagement—better health…better mind…better spirit.

For the next two miles, my mind was transfixed on this modern day parable that had painted itself across my winter sky. The profundity of such a moment is not lost on me.

Two thousand years ago, Love, in the form of a Son, made his way to a tree. Love tied himself to a tree to bring me a “Happy Valentine’s Day” blessing. It was a message that he scripted with the blood of his very own hands. Love, battered by the winds of the tempestuous storm that began from the very beginning, drove him to a purposeful tangling amidst thorns and brambles whose grip was tight and who kept him there long enough…long enough…simply long enough to finish love’s completing work.

God’s bouquet of Love chose his confinement upon a tree. He traversed the soil of humanity for this one purpose…this one moment of lingering internment upon a cross where his “want to” and his flesh caught up with the will of his Father. God’s “something”…God’s Someone…left his intended home with the sacred intention of becoming the world’s Valentine. The world’s Surprise. The world’s Revelation.

He hung upon the tree of winter…a Calvary tree…knowing that a spring’s blossom awaited his full surrender. The air was crisp and cool, and yet the brilliancy of the Son reminded the world…reminds the world…that death precedes the birth of a bloom. That beneath the branches that boast emptiness, lie the buds which are readying themselves for a bursting forth that can only be described as miraculous.

A resurrection!

An Easter morning!

Better health. Better mind. Better spirit. Indeed, I would have missed it if had done what I had wanted to do. But I would have missed everything. I would have missed Grace. I would have missed Love. I would have missed Jesus.

I cannot consider such loss, for Jesus is all the world to me. I cannot go back and pretend that I do not know the Truth because long ago, Truth was revealed in my heart, and I have kept to his path ever since. I cannot imagine not understanding and believing the impact of a Calvary Love, but there are days when I am prone to forget. Days when I need to break from the confines of my “want to”, lace up my shoes, and push my flesh to a point of remembrance.

God is always faithful to reveal himself to me when I choose such an obedience. Today, he revealed himself through a bouquet of love that was tied to a tree. Tomorrow holds a revelation all its own. I can hardly wait to get there. Until then, I will bask in the shadow of the blessing that hangs in surrender upon a tree in my neighborhood. It is a blessing that says “Happy Valentine’s Day!” This day and every day.

See Him. Hear Him, and conceive the possibilities of such a gracious grace. What wondrous love is this! It is a love I want, and so I pray…

Father, you are everything to me. I cannot imagine my life without you. You breathed your love over my life as you tied your Love to a tree at Calvary. No greater love have I ever known. It is a wondrous, undeserving, and lavish love that cannot be measured with words, with music, or with pictures. It can only be adequately known and expressed within the deep recesses of my being. You are there God, for your Spirit lives within. Hear now my expression of love as it encompasses my frame and brings me to my knees in full surrender. You, alone, are worthy of such devotion. I receive your Valentine…you Son Jesus as the Love of my life. I return my love back to you. Where it is not perfect, perfect it, Lord. Where it is flesh, replace it with faith. Better health…better mind…better spirit. That is what I want, so I pray for eyes and ears and a mind to receive the fullness of such a gift. I stand ready to receive. Amen.

peace for the journey~elaine

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