“The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.” (Proverbs 20:5).
A couple of years ago, I attended a women’s conference where I had the privilege of meeting a few of my blogging friends. At that time, I was fairly new to blogging, so the depth of relationship with other bloggers remained somewhat superficial. (It takes time to build depth of relationship, does it not?) I’ll never forget a comment I received from Lelia after spending some time with her one evening.
“Elaine, I thought you would be this deep, philosophical, thinking kind of person, but you’re really normal and fun to be around.”
I immediately understood what she was saying, and after a hearty, belly laugh we went shopping… for underwear. Yes, it didn’t take long for me to dispel any myths regarding my ponderous estate, and I was glad for the disclosure. Why? Because I sometimes think it is easy for us to paint a picture with our words in our blog posts that misses the mark regarding who we are in our day-to-day, real life. I never want to be accused of “writing someone” that I’m not. Accordingly, I’ve tried to keep it real here at the blog, even as I try to keep it real in on the pavement of my everyday life.
Am I normal and fun to be around? Ask anyone who knows me. They’re the accurate judge on the matter. On the contrast, am I a deep, philosophical, thinking kind of gal? I’ll let the archives of my some 350 blog posts tell the story. I am a woman who loves to laugh and who loves to ponder. Laughter and thinking are compatible sojourners on this pilgrimage of grace. They balance one another… knowing when to defer center-stage status to the other and when to step in as a replacement. I don’t have to be one or the other. I can be both.
And just this morning, I came across the above verse from Proverbs which seems to grant me permission to keep pondering… keep thinking… keeping digging deeply into the recesses of my heart for the hidden mysteries that reside beneath. God mysteries. The ones that belonged to him first; the ones that belong to me now because of my status as his child.
“However, as it is written: ‘No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him’—but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.” (1 Corinthians 2:9-10).
I’ve got some “deep waters”, friends. So do you. You may think that you don’t… that somehow you’re just an average thinker with an average heart that doesn’t dip too far below the surface to mine the treasures of God—to contemplate his heart, his thoughts, and his perspective. Some of you feel ill-equipped for the task, perhaps even wrong for wanting to try. God is big… really big, and you feel comparably small. Digging below the surface to get to the heart of God may seem dangerous to you… even treacherous, almost as if to “go there” would be to cross some spiritual boundary or to break some religious law that wrongly states, “You can go this far with God and no more.”
God doesn’t put limits on what can be known about him. Certainly, in this season of our lives we see in part, live in part, know in part, walk in partial understanding. Fullness of understanding will come when we get home to Jesus, but until then, we have the freedom to dig.
Deeply dig.
To dip our buckets into the well of perfect understanding and to wait for God to fill them accordingly. We get to live deeply because we anchor our personal ships in some deep waters. When our lives were formed and fashioned in the secret place (Psalm 139), they were created in depth, with depth, to live depth. There was nothing shallow about that moment; in contrast, your conception represents, perhaps, the deepest, most hidden moment of your existence. When God weaved you together in your mother’s womb, he variegated your flesh with colors and contrasts and intricacies that can only be discovered with your willingness to go deeper with your Creator.
In doing so—in mining the treasures beneath your surface—you discover some of the mysteries that better enable you to live your life with sacred perspective. You discover the wise counsel of God which sheds light into your plan and your purpose for being on this earth. Without the dig comes the risk of remaining shallow—of living the rest of your days with surface understanding.
For some of you, that’s enough. You don’t have to think too far beyond current wisdom to be secure in your faith. You’re happy with the knowledge that you hold, and it will be more than enough to carry you through to glory. I celebrate that in you. I wouldn’t want you to be someone that you’re not. But I will tell you this one thing because, just maybe, you haven’t realized this about yourself.
You’ve got some deep waters bubbling beneath the surface of your heart this day. A big, huge cauldron of wet waiting for you to dive into in order to discover some hidden truth that you’ve yet to hold as your own. To get there, you need to be willing to get wet—to ponder and to think with your heart wide-open before God. You’ll need to ask questions in prayerful pause. You’ll need to wait for our Father’s response. It won’t be immediate, but as you are faithful to press into the heart of God, he will be faithful to fill yours with a ladle or two of his personal mystery.
And for that, friends, I’ll keep digging. I want to know Christ. I want to live the resurrected life while my flesh yet tarries in this land. Today is the day of salvation, and we have a God who can be known… deeply known. And for as much as I can know God on this side of eternity, I’ll keep dipping my bucket into his well of grace.
“The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.”
Even so, Lord, make me a woman of depth this day. Keep me drawing from your well and keep me believing that with every personal, intentional pursuit of knowledge that I make will come further understanding into the deep things of you. Forgive me when I choose less. Bless me when I choose more… choose big… choose deeply… choose you. I thank you for your mystery. Even greater, I thank you for allowing me to hold some of it as my own. Amen.
Peace for the journey,
elaine
PS: Many of you have asked regarding my schedule for the week and how you might pray for me. In the future, I may initiate a “caring bridge” page to keep you updated on the medical trail I’m traveling, but for now, here’s the latest:
Tuesday: Genetic counseling and BRCA testing in Chapel Hill.
Wednesday: PET/CT scans locally
Friday: MUGA (heart) testing, along with chemotherapy counseling locally.
In the next week, a follow-up meeting with my oncologist, the placement of a port-a-cath, the beginning of an eight-cycle regimen of chemotherapy over the next four months.
Please pray for continued healing from my surgery… still very sore and the thought of implanting a port-a-cath sends my stomach reeling! For strength enough, peace enough to courageously walk into this new chapter of healing. We love you each one and covet your prayers as we go forward. Now, how might I pray for you? Shalom.
I Love Deep and Your Deep encourages me to dig deeper.
Oh how, in these days, we all need to know Him more intimately.
Praying for you this week as you face new depths on your road to healing!
Love to you friend!
Praying for your week and on, dear Elaine. And I love this post. Yes, we are afraid to dig, but it is only there where we find that greater fellowship and knowledge of our Savior. Blessings, sweetheart.
Oh, Elaine…God has been leading me on a journey of digging deeper and is now calling me to step even farther out of my comfort zone…sigh…your post was exactly what I needed to be reminded of this morning. Thank you so much for sharing your times of digging deeper and times of just being the you that is such a blessing as well.
I am praying for your pondering and your appointments and challenges that you are facing this week. God bless you!!!
Oh every word you shared penetrated by heart. While we've never met in person YET (trusting GOD to do so this side of heaven); I've always thought of you (especially the few phone chats we've had in the last two years); that you are fun, a straight shooter, deep and REAL!
Thank you for sharing how we can pray for you this week. I'm honored to do so by faith with love!!
Love you friend.
The more I know you the more I treasure our friendship. When we spend time together, I enjoy just keeping it real with one another. We always have a blast doing so! 😉
Whether we are talking, laughing, crying, praying, or eating chocolate truffles together (yummm), you inspire and challenge me to better myself in my spiritual journey. So, sweet friend, I'm saying the same prayer as you:
"Even so, Lord, make me a woman of depth this day. Keep me drawing from your well and keep me believing that with every personal, intentional pursuit of knowledge that I make will come further understanding into the deep things of you. Forgive me when I choose less. Bless me when I choose more… choose big… choose deeply… choose you. I thank you for your mystery. Even greater, I thank you for allowing me to hold some of it as my own. Amen."
Bill and I are praying continuously for you, Billy, and the family.
Love you…
I will be praying for you Elaine.
May you not walk one step in this journey without feeling your Father's comforting hand upon you.
Prayers and blessings,
Rebecca
p.s. I'm going to post your name on my cabinet above my kitchen window. Every time I see it, I will pray for you–which will be a lot! 🙂
I think these waters are that "better part" chosen by Mary that Jesus affirmed so clearly.
I've come to believe the depths are where we're safest from storms, and where we're able to see things that we can't on life's surface.
I wish I could be there to whip up a meal, catch up your laundry, or sit quietly with you to paddle the deep waters.
You'll be near my thoughts and prayers … and always,
Kathleen
I guessed you to be a normal person, Elaine! lol!
I think people sometimes have the same impression of me…that I'm serious, a deep thinker, etc., and I suppose I do have that side of me especially when I'm writing, but in reality what most of my blog friends don't know is that I have a wacky, dry sense of humor. I can find humor in anything and love to laugh at myself most of all. Someone once said if we can laugh at ourselves we will never run out of things to laugh about.
P.S. I continue to pray for you! I appreciate knowing the details so I can pray specifically.
Thanks for reminding us that we DO have the freedom to dig! I know that sometimes I become complacent and expect the norm…I want to step out of comfort into the deep and see what He needs me to do.
So glad that you posted your schedule for us! And I think that a Caring Bridge site would be great!Like Kathleen, wish I were closer to help y'all out!You all continue to be in our prayers.
Love you!
Susan
Oh, sweet friend, I am praying. And digging. Deep.
And I can vouch for how fun you are–even in a telephone conversation you are a hoot!
luv to you, lady.
"oh for grace to trust Him more" while digging deeper.
So glad I was led to your blog today. This was such an inspirational read. We all have been given divine permission to dig deeper. I pray that God would strengthen and heal you.
I alays feel so inadequate when I read your posts. You do sound so knowledgeable and I understand where that blogger friend was saying. I might have said the same thing if we'd met last Dec. (I'm so sorry we didn't.) Your bucket is filled with wisdom:) I'm grateful always for your words.
And a little PS that I know probably a zillion people have already told you–my mom had to have a port put in too, and it was so easy she said:)
For He is with you my friend, for He is radiating about you, in you and through you. I am praising Him for His Presence with you. Knowing full well that He's got all this covered!
Your words challenge me in new ways each time I read one of your posts! Since you asked I am asking you to pray for me as I go and face my own great unknown. I have had some serious issues since early summer and have feared going to get checked out. But you my friend have been my inspiration and I have an appointment for Oct. 5th to start the process of finding out what all is going on! Thank you and I appreciate your prayers as I fast and pray for you!
Lovely post and good encouragement.
As for the port-a-cath…I have a power port and it makes hooking up to chemo a breeze. I love my power port.
Elaine, thanks for spurring us on to go deeper with God all the time. Makes me think of the deep, deep love of God…
Thanks also for keeping us updated on how to pray for you. I'll be hoping and praying that your soreness will ease some more by the time they have to place the port. May God strengthen you for the days ahead. Love & Prayers headed your way!
Sweet Elaine,
I know your authenticity runs deep and wide here. And yes, you're in deep these days, but I know the grace of Jesus will overflow from your faithfulness. I'm sending you buckets of prayers for the coming week.
Your words quenched me tonight.
Love and prayers,
Kelli
oh, yes, my friend. praying for you continuely. Your name is on my lips at all times in prayer!
i love this post. i am dipping my bucket deep into that well and i am just so thirsty for more of Him that I can't stand it!
love you so much!
CAUTION: This is a very random comment.
You KNOW that I am continuing to pray for you. You KNOW IT!
Oh, how I want to be transparent, authentic and so approachable! I do.
I am so sad that I will not get to meet you this weekend. Just sad. We will, however, be lifting you up to the Lord at the gIRL gathering.
Blessings to you.
Leah
Elaine:
These words are straight to the heart!
I am enough 'on down the road' that I know as I look back, the deepest times with God have come through the hardest times. Sometimes it's simply by digging into Him more, more often it's through the trials and heartaches. But in all of 'the deep'… there is a special cutting edge sense that His hand and heart are so close. The more of Him that we see… the more we want!!
I'm praying my friend, for you and Billy and your family, for each day to bring that sure sense that He holds you close and is walking it with you.
Love you!
and P.S…. I wish, like Kathleen said, that I could bring you supper tonight and vacuum your house or whatever!!! Which also reminds me… why do I want to vacuum YOUR house and not my own??!! 🙂
Since I've known you I have thought deeper about many things! Thank you for stretching my mind!
Praying for you often!
Marilyn…in Mississippi
Praying for you and yours. I so love visiting your blog. You bring so much truth to my journey. Thank you!!
Elaine:
I too thought you were some deep thinker when I first read your posts, yet in time, as we've shared phone calls and texts from the Sea of Galilee, I've found you to be quite normal and more fun and funny than I could have imagined! I love you and I'm glad we met – even if not yet in person!
The Scripture you chose from 1 Corinthians 2 is one of the passages that moved mountains in my life. I spoke it at my husband's funeral celebration service and had no idea even then why God gave that to me and what it meant for my own future. I knew what it had meant for my husband as God had prepared Him for glory – but it has come to mean so much more to me now.
My Bible study group and I just started The Inheritance Bible study [Beth Moore] last night here and this passage what one I included in the writing of the homework as it lines up with our earthly and heavenly inheritance now unfolding.
Just do the next thing, Elaine and God will be faithful to see you through each step of this unknown path!
Blessings, Stephanie
Such encouragement! Thank you!
Please pray for my sister. She needs to break free, but she keeps trying to do it on her own. She needs the Power of the Holy Spirit that is within her to do the work. Thank you.
Love this post. It is cool to meet bloggy friends in person. Saying a prayer for your medical trials and appointments. Blessings girl!
I am sending you a message Elaine. xox
wifeforthejourney:
You continue to plumb the depths of faith and encourage us to join you. You are indeed genuine in your pursuit of God and in good humor. How you can be in the middle of cancer and still make me laugh – where is a camera when you need one?
I hate that you have had to give up your blooger's retreat this month. I know you were really looking forward to being face to face with so many of your online friends.
You are such a joy to us all, thanks for being yourself!
Love,
Billy
I am a litttle behind in my blogging but I am soo glad I have come to visit yours. What an inspiration you are to me. I LOVE what you have written here. It is honestly right where I am at. You do have such a way of writing what "I" am feeling, haha…I am digging deeper and deeper these days, and yet find I want to go even further. I can't seem to ever do anything but write straight from my heart. It sometimes might be "too real" ya know what I mean? But those are the type of blogs that draw me as well. I find you totally real, and totally filled with Him. I can relate of course on the soreness. I still have some areas that are. Doesn't seem like it should be. I am going to the onocologist today as I have an area that just doesn't look right. I would appreciate a prayer or two if you think of it. Meanwhile I have already lifted you in prayer today, and I will continue. Hugs to you, Debbie
My sweet sister, I am praying for you so.
God is taking you on a journey of healing…may you experience HIS peace.
Sheryl
Good morning Elaine… I love how God uses you to put in words the thoughts He gives to you to share with others. Even in your own time of layering.. be the layers for adding or layers for peeling away and revealing… thank you for sharing with us. Loved uncles poem. Praying that today is a day without much prodding or poking.
Praying without ceasing for you sis.