It’s Sunday evening. A table usually reserved for meal times has, instead, become a makeshift teacher’s desk. Lesson plans strewn about, books, DVD’s, grade books, red pens, and unsharpened pencils litter the oak top, alongside my tiredness. I put my head down, realizing again, the enormity of the task in front of me. I haven’t graded papers over the weekend, haven’t prepared for the week ahead.
Week four, our 16th day of homeschooling. Yes, that’s where we are. Marking off days on the school calendar, fully entrenched in a new routine that feels less new now, more normal. I sigh, and then I remember . . . a lesson I learned not long ago. A life-learning that came to me under the teacher named Cancer. That lesson?
The capacity and the great willingness to live within the context of a twenty-four hour time frame. To not look beyond today, realizing that today is all I’ve been given. Today holds enough worry of its own. No need to borrow beyond this day’s allowance. Should tomorrow arrive for me, I’ll have enough time and enough determination to deal with it then. But as for today, I’ll keep my attention and focus on the task at hand, give myself permission to rest here, and establish the boundaries that prevent me from going further.
It’s a good way to live. I’ve not always applied this lesson to my life. I’m not sure I really learned it in my younger years. Certainly, I heard it . . . from the pulpit, from my parents, in my readings and with my studying. But application of truth is sometimes best learned firsthand, away from prescriptive learning while entrenched in the labors of practical living—applied living, where the tenets of our faith are hammered out on the pavement of everyday life.
The capacity and great willingness to live within the context of a twenty-four hour time frame doesn’t become our default until we’re required to go there, to live there for a season. A time when twenty-four hours is enough, when living through those next twenty-four hours is the gift. Sometimes we live ahead of the gift. We strive to hold more than our daily allowance, wanting to have it all figured out, leaving little wiggle room for the contingencies that frequently interrupt our best laid plans.
Best laid plans are rarely lived plans. Certainly, a well thought-out, established plan is a framework for success, allowing us some measure of control over the outcome. But at the end of the day, even in the middle of our day, and occasionally in those beginning moments of our day, there comes a scenario we didn’t consider during our Sunday evening planning sessions. Sometimes, life takes a turn we didn’t anticipate while charting out our weekly agendas, and it’s probably a really good thing we weren’t forewarned about its arrival.
Can you imagine what our planners might look like had we known that “it” was coming (whatever that “it” is for you)? Sweet mercy, there wouldn’t be enough white-out to fix the mess! When life gets derailed, it’s better to keep the pencil and the eraser handy, rather than the pen. Sometimes, perhaps, throwing them both aside is the best course of action . . . just let it happen, let life come, without trying to control it all on the front side of its advent.
This is, perhaps, the grace in it all—the joy of finally being able to let go of all the striving, to release the expectations of daily life, and to live fully in the realization that these next twenty-four hours are all that our precious lives were meant to handle. This doesn’t mean that we don’t look forward to tomorrow, that we don’t plan a little, control a little, and pray a ton. It simply and profoundly means that we save tomorrow’s striving until tomorrow and live the gift in front of us.
And so, I lift my head from this table, and I acknowledge that I won’t be able to fully plan my week in these moments. Instead, I’ll lock into the urgent, that which is pressing, that which is called tomorrow morning. It feels good and right to downgrade my focus, to keep it small, thus freeing up some space in my heart and soul for the contingencies that might work their way into a loosely planned schedule.
The capacity and great willingness to live within the context of a twenty-four hour time frame.
Are you there yet? Are you willing? Can you whittle your plans, your thoughts, and your worries down to the next twenty-four hours? Nothing more is required of you. Why not live this freedom in this moment? Why not grant yourself permission to fully live here, to stop here, and to travel no further down the road, save for the next step in front of you?
It’s a beautiful way to live a day. It’s a trusting way to live a life.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” –Matthew 6:34
I love that; taking one day at a time. There have been times when I can only go one moment at a time. I love that you are tackling home schooling. I know how challenging it can be working in a classroom. So I’m sure you have your own challenges with your children. But I’m sure they listen to you!
Relish these moments Elaine! The children will be gone eventually. Savor each moment as you see them learn and grow in wisdom. I envy you in that you can also teach them God’s Word and Truth. With our secular school, I pray for the children and also pray that the love of Jesus would be felt by each one of them. But I cannot openly share His name. You can …
Please know that I am praying for you. I am going to order a copy of your book so I can read it and then tell others about it. You’ve been through so much and I know the Lord will use you to encourage others.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
Clearly there is a book in progress here. Posts just waiting to be compiled – Lessons from the Lunchroom. You don’t even have to struggle over a title! (But then, that’s not “today’s trouble”!) God bless your desk, your planning, your students, your day. You’ve already blessed me with the general thought here and and several succinct and powerful words and phrases.
Yes, I’ve already chewed on this one, but I can’t go there… not yet. That’s my problem; I run too far ahead of the game some days rather than sitting with the tasks at hand. Thanks for the kind words.
I’ll be honest. I’m so far from this:
‘When life gets derailed, it’s better to keep the pencil and the eraser handy, rather than the pen. Sometimes, perhaps, throwing them both aside is the best course of action . . . just let it happen, let life come, without trying to control it all on the front side of its advent.’
I’m a planner and a controller and the mere thought of life getting derailed nearly does me in. I guess this goes along with what the Lord was trying to teach me this weekend. I wrote about it today. I desperately need HIM to help me live in a less controlling way.
Loved your words today, Leah. I think we all could sit with this one for a long time, linger with it and not rush past it. God wants us all to see today, instead of being blinded by our need to control tomorrow. I’m learning right alongside you.
No, Elaine, I’m not there yet, but I am willing. I love the concept — the capacity to live within a 24 hr context. Great food for thought — and for application. Will try to keep this in mind. Have a great week, friend!
wifeforthejourney:
Like the third verse of “Great is Thy Faithfulness,” what better appeal is there:
“Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide; strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow…..” It is hard to wait for the rest of that prayer/verse that comes with God’s faithfulness “…blessings all mine with ten thousand beside.”
May we all find ourselves able to celebrate today, not just burdened by events past or the unknowns that wait for us in the future. Thanks for giving the large part of your today to our kids!
Love you,
Billy
My oncologist kept me from “rabbit trailing,” going down those paths of “what if?” He kept me focused on the here and now; the treatment protocol of the day. For a Type A person, who likes to know the answers to everything before I get started, it was liberating. During treatment, I took it one day at a time, spending a great deal of it in contemplative prayer with God. I’ve never felt more protected and secure.
Now, I have my daily “to do” lists, and generally focus on today, although I’m always working toward the goal of tomorrow. God and His Son are still by my side.
XOXOXO,
Brenda
It doesn’t take long for the “to do” lists and demands to creep back into our routine. I wrote about this in the book; I do want to live each day fully without the constraints and worries of tomorrow. There’s a balance, and I am glad for the season that showed me a better way. I know you feel the same.
I love, love, love … this post, dear Elaine. Because it is so human, and also because, this is the way I live. For a long time now, I have discovered that living in the present moment allows me to be truly present to what God is doing and teaching. He gave His children manna only for one day, and the Bible tells us that His mercies are new every morning. Each new day, we get a brand new supply of grace. Oh, how I love your words dear friend. A favorite author of mine, Ingrid Trobisch, in her books Hidden Strength, wrote these words: “The present moment is the only time we have.” The hymn Day by Day also says the same things you wrote of on this post.
So dear homeschooling mom, and lunchlady, whatever your role is for the moment, live it up, and enjoy every minute of it.
I’m arranging for either my sister or my best friend to purchase your book for me. When arrangements are final, I’ll let you know.
Much love
Lidia
Such a wonderful post, love you.
“Sometimes we live ahead of the gift. “
How I would love to be totally “there”…instead of trying to plan everything out for any possible scenario…by His grace alone, I am closer than I was a few years ago…and very willing to let go and know that my daily bread is always enough…
“It’s a beautiful way to live a day. It’s a trusting way to live a life..”
Oh, let me declare a big amen to this!
Blessed again….and your preacher man’s comment was especially touching…
This is the line that lingers with me . . . this “living ahead of the gift.” I do it so often. God forgive me for missing the gift of a single day.
Oh, Elaine. You are right on time with this post! Sarah Young reminded me of the same thing in yesterday’s reading. I have just finished day 6 of a new job that is kicking my butt. Not just the job, but the new role as well. The Lord is reminding me that this was a blessing, not a curse. However, it is one of the most difficult tests of my life. Not knowing where all this is leading. When you’re young, you plan on marriage and then motherhood and, if you’re like me, you rest in that wonderful chapter and relish the days of books, and baths. Snacks and snuggles. All too soon it is over and I find myself in days that offer little immediate joy like the previous role did. What a lesson in learning to rest in today. Help me, Jesus.
I hear the strain, Ann. Change always feels strange. The older I get, the more I expect the strangeness. I don’t like it, not usually, but I’m also less threatened by it. I’m reaching out to you tonight, seventy miles down the road, to tell you I’m praying for you and that I believe in your future. God hasn’t left the building. Rather, God is placing the bricks of your life alongside the bricks in my life to build his extraordinary kingdom. We cannot see the beauty just now, but one day we’ll be stunned by the extraordinary genius of our Lord. Keep to it.
Elaine, some great advice today for me and everybody else! I was especially struck by this statement you made. . . “just let it happen, let life come, without trying to control it all on the front side of its advent.”
God bless you dear faithful Elaine!
Marilyn
A deep breath in and out, that’s my response every time I read your writings, Elaine. The perfect mix of Truth for application and encouragement. I’m definitely breathing easier after this one. Needed it, my friend.
I got your book in the mail today and CANNOT WAIT to read it!
Hi Elaine,
I am moved by your post; this is the lesson I have been learning this year as well, and it’s a difficult, though liberating, one. I homeschool the older four of my five children plus work from home, and it’s so very easy to get caught up in the list-making and plans and preparations, and forget what a gift “today” is. Yet, since my daughter’s diagnosis in February, our plans have been but a wisp in the breeze, and -surprisingly -that has made life easier to manage. Not that cancer is easy, but living in the “now,” and knowing that God is here today -that brings so much more peace than all my plans and lists. Thank you for this post, it is so encouraging 🙂
~Chrissie
(momma to http://www.emilyannelove.wordpress.com)
There’s a beautiful gift given to us in our cancer seasons–whether cancers of the flesh or cancers of the mind, spirit and soul–when the test comes, so does our willingness to whittle down the details to the bare essentials . . . the grip of grace that pulls us forward, especially on days when we’d rather stand still. Grace always pulls us forward, to care for our loved ones and to care for ourselves. Care for those sweet children, your sweet Emily Anne, and care for yourself. Take especially good care with this one. I know some of your story through Cyndi’s posts. My heart is open to heaven this night on your family’s behalf. God is in the small details of your every moment. I know you feel him now more than ever before. Shalom, sister-warrior.