Her words spoke the penchant of her heart…
“Mommy, I want to be just like you.”
“No you don’t baby, you want to be better. You want you to live better. I’m just average.”
“Yes, I do mommy. I want to grow up to be just like you. What’s average?”
And I am undone with the conversation.
Average. A word I occasionally use to jokingly refer to my raw capabilities as a human being. It usually lands me a chuckle, but last night it landed me a question.
“What’s average?”
According to Merriam-Webster.com, average is “a single value that summarizes or represents the general significance of a set of unequal values.”
I don’t know what bugs me the most about this definition… the “single value that summarizes” part or the “general significance of a set of unequal values” part. Single value and general significance aren’t phrases in keeping with human value. The term “average” is best assigned to mathematical calculations, not people. Still and yet, it is a word all too common in our vernacular when describing the human condition, the human performance, the human beings created with an eternal pulse and an eternal end in mind.
When I look into the eyes of my young daughter, I see nothing “average.” No single value that summarizes her or classifies her as generally significant. She far exceeds any mathematical label or quantifying therein.
I am not always so kind with myself.
When I look into the eyes staring back at me in the mirror, I am sometimes tempted to use that word. Average seems a good median to balance out the times when I’ve gotten it very right and the occasions when I’ve lived it very wrong. And while I’m not content to allow my daughter this kind of labeling, all too often I am content to wear it as my name tag. It may not stick on me in the “visible” for others to see, but when given room and stage enough to shout its witness within the interior of my soul, my “average” moves outward.
“For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34).
My mouth spoke it last night. Casually at first; more painfully as the night wore on. I am not past the moment, friends. I’ve wrestled with it all night and into these morning hours. The sun has given its exclamation to a new day, and the Son has given his exclamation to a new and living way. A way that walks in truth and that leaves no room for talk of “general significance” or one “single value that summarizes.”
There’s nothing general about God and his love for his created people, no one single sin that summarizes the whole. When we lower the standard on ourselves, when “average” becomes the label rather than the righteousness that belongs to us as children of the Most High God, then we demean the grace of the cross. Christ’s blood bled far too costly and too red to allow us a meager labeling of ourselves. What he did there canceled out human averaging. What he did there exponentially exceeded the worst of human sin, thus allowing every believing heart a labeling beyond the “average.”
Redeemed. Forgiven. Beloved. Accepted. Treasured. Righteous. Sought After. Living Temple. Heir. Friend. Light. Overcomer. Mighty Warrior. Holy. Consecrated. Treasure-Keeper. Truth-Teller. Grace-Dispenser.
Indeed, there is nothing “average” about the labels that Christ intends for us to wear. On our own and left to personal averaging along these lines, we’ll never do enough good to cancel out our bad so as to move us from our mediocrity. But when Jesus and his atoning sacrifice are added to the paltry lot we bring to the table, then our “general significance” takes a bow to our eternal significance. With salvation we put to death the former self in order to walk with God’s new labels, none of which root in “average”; all of which root in the Divine.
And so, today I wrestle with my labels. I think back on the previous night’s conversation, and I am touched by a daughter who sees something in me that I rarely see in myself. She sees someone she wants to be; she doesn’t remember all the times I’ve gotten it wrong. She simply and lovingly remembers all the times I’ve lived it right. She sees beyond my “average,” and I am thankful today for the reminder of heaven’s grace that has come to me through her adoration. May it come to you as well.
Don’t let a single value—a single sin or past regret—summarize your steps this day. You are not generally significant to our God. You are extraordinarily contemplated, crafted and designed to hold the life-giving pulse of God’s Spirit within your feeble flesh. And that, fellow pilgrims, bumps you up from your average status into excellence.
Excellent. Wear God’s label well; live it all the more. By his strength, I will live the same. As always…
peace for the journey,
~elaine
PS: I won’t be around here for a few days; I’ll want to be here, but I have a great many preparations to make for our upcoming Bible study, a retreat to attend, and some writing to do in my current WIP. I’ll be back next week with more of our “breakfast on the beach with Jesus.” Until then, may God’s love for you and joy over you move you past your “average” into his “excellence.” Shalom.
Wonderful words Elaine ~
Thanking Him that as I submit my "general significance" unto Him, I'm brought up to "eternal significance" by His mercy and grace!
I'll be meditating upon this today!!
In Him, I'm no longer average but excellent!!
Sweet Blessings!
Jackie
Elaine,
Again, just what I needed to hear today, as I have reflected on my "average" parenting skills, and what I can possibly do to help my son do his schoolwork when he doesn't want to (only in kindergarten) and help him feel like he is succeeding… and to help him feel like the bright boy he really is!
Yet, how can I teach him that when I feel average at best myself?
For me today is about standing up and taking the lies the enemy has tossed into my mix, that I have grabbed hold of and made my own… and tossing them back out, and grabbing onto the truth instead.
Thank you!
Love you!
Heather
Beautiful post… I think every woman would say she needs to be reminded of these words daily.
You are a beautiful woman and your daughter is blessed to have you as her role model.
You know, I believe that God has us read certain blogs at certain times so He can show us His glory! Thank you sweet friend. And the song was priceless. Enjoy your retreat. Call me when you have time–we need to catch up.
Love you!
Susan
The words that came from your heart were not "average."
Beautifully done!
Nothing average about you, friend! Just stopping by to see how things are going in your world! Sounds like a busy season coming up. The fruit will be plentiful!
hugs,
laura
Elaine, you said it well when you said this: "Christ’s blood bled far too costly and too red to allow us a meager labeling of ourselves. What he did there canceled out human averaging. What he did there exponentially exceeded the worst of human sin, thus allowing every believing heart a labeling beyond the "average.""
Thank You Jesus for giving us this gift. In Your holy name, amen.
What a precious song!
Elaine, I think for me at least, I often feel 'average' based on accomplishment and ability instead of based on acceptance of who I am in Christ. I may do 'average' things, and that is due to my own poor choices, but it's not who I am. I am far from average in the eyes of God, as His Spirit dwells in me, and nothing about God is ever average. Even ordinary things, done in His name, are above average.
I understand exactly your daughter's longing. When I grow up, I want to be like you too. Why? Because I see so much of Christ in you, and I want to be like Him.
Love ya,
Joy
You, and your daughter are very precious.
When I think of the people in scripture who God used in an extraordinary way, they all started out as average. That gives me hope.
Thanks friend. I get it. I'll add your new answer.
LOVE this song by Martina McBride. I can't tell you how many times I've listened to it and thought of my own little girls.
My 11yr old Grace is sad today that I'm training at work. I can't wait to get home and pull her into my arms for a snuggle.
Our girls are precious gifts, aren't they?
Love you friend.
Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing your heart and thoughts! I absolutely love that song. I have practically wore my CD out.
until next time… nel
Elaine:
I know well and good that I don't see myself as He sees me. I 'get it'… but many times I don't GET IT! That kind of love is so above and beyond, but… He is continually teaching me that it is so.
Loved this!
Sonja
You really uplifted me with this:) But I have news even though I know you won't be around– I got a job offer!!! (Not sure you knew)
Ah, if only we could see ourselves with the same love and grace we feel when we see our daughters…
Blessings on all your activities over the next few days, Elaine!
Beautiful words Elaine and thank you for the reminder. It made me think of how hard I can be on myself at time, how "average" I think I am.
Oh but the grace of God. He sees me differently. He sees more than I see. Praising Him for that.
And you my friend, are NOT average. You are amazing.
so so very excellent.
thank you.
Hi Elaine.
I am blessed to read your article today. As a mother of a little four year old, I often hear her make that very statement. And yes, my thoughts are like yours…I want her to be more. Thanks for challenging us to rise up to the God's title that is rightfully our for this life and eternity. To be called God's beloved is not AVERAGE thing.
Blessings as always,
Gladwell
Oh my – my soul needed these words to be spoken to it this morning. Thank you for that Elaine!
You are no average chick!
Blessings Elaine,
Lori
How sweet! Isn't it amazing how God uses our children to teach us so much! Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? 🙂 Out of the mouth of babes….
I love that picture at the beginning of this post. It is so precious!
….praying your time away finds you enjoying your significance as you bask in the Word, in His will, and in the fellowship of Kindred Minds…
You'll be missed, but it will give me time to contemplate living beyond "average"!
Beautiful and I love the picture of you and your girl. DELIGHTFUL!
Average…causes me to think of Joshua and Caleb, not average as well as 2 in 2 million that crossed over; to be peculiar.
Love you and your heart!!!
Yolanda
It's all because of HIS Grace and through HIS Strength, isn't it…
Love,
Melanie@Bella~Mella
wifeforthejourney:
How right you are, about how we are hard on ourselves. It is humbling and awesome to consider how Christ's sacrifice completely rewrites our own version of our worth. It looks a whole lot more like what Amelia thinks of us than what we think.
One of the best things "little elaine" aka Amelia or MiMi says that I love to hear her say to me is:
"You're the best daddy in the whole world, no other daddy, just you!" There are few moments in life that I have had higher praise. How I hope the Lord will keep in my mind the way Jesus loves us is even more than our daughter's love. That He loves us like we are the only ones in the world, and that He doesn't want to trade us for someone else.
Thank you for being the woman our daughter want to grow up to be just like!
You are the best wife in the whole world, no other wife, just YOU!
Love,
Billy
Mmm, we demean the value of the cross…powerful.
That is one of my favorite songs.
Martina's song has long been a heart-grabber for me! It still brings tears, and my daughter is now 39!
I'm not surprised you're viewed as a worthy role model by one who'd surely know. She's the recipient of your daily ministrations, and likely she'd spot a phony a mile away. To her, you are unmatched, unequaled – and that certainly isn't average.
This is a lovely post, friend. It will, no doubt, make it's way to your box of treasures, and be kept there well on into eternity.
Have a blast with your full agenda,
Kathleen
Oh WOW – just beautifully put! It's time I move past average – just pull up my big panties and move on. When you topped your post off with Martina's song, "In My Daughters Eyes" I lost it. That is the song we play for my oldest all the time. Blessings my friend!
Wow – you always just touch my heart!
Great word and lots to think on and digest.
Love to you Elaine,
Beth
Beautifully expressed my friend…as always. So often, in the physical sense, Average is how I typify myself as a person. Thank you for reminding me of my significance in Christ! I needed to hear that today!
Blessings to you…
Tracy
Labels… that makes me think of Me, Myself and Lies. Just wondering what God thinks of the word average. I'm wondering if the word is used in any way in the Bible? Hmmm… I think I'll look into that.
Today my labels for you are: inspiring, challenging, vulnerable, teacher and friend!
So, even though, I feel average or below average most of the time, I'm not.
You've like so made my day.
Well, ok. It's 10:30p.m.
All right then, you've made my tomorrow!
Sweet dreams.
beautiful post and beautiful song.
In our daughters eyes – we are not average…
Love to you
kelly
http://www.ivebecomemymother.com
That was a sweet post….it is so neat to see the people and things that God uses to remind us of the truth.
I too need to be reminded of the truth…when I do not see myself through His eyes….I portray the kingdom in a very dim way.
I am so glad that He is faithful to keep teaching this student. 🙂
Love ya girl!
Hi, Elaine. This really hit home with me tonight. I tell my kids over and over how significant they are… how "not average" they are. I want them to grow up know they are so much more than average. But, I don't hesitate to tell myself that I am average, when in God's eyes, I AM so much more than average… just as I tell my own children.
I'll be thinking on this for awhile, I believe.
My friend, you will never fit into the category of "average" and you would be my first pick to meet with at the table in your latest blog. Your daughters words may have been simply stated but what an impact they have left on you and on us.
You are such a blessing dear friend.
In His Graces~Pamela
I love when you give me a new perspective, woven in with God's. I am always blessed when I come here.
Powerful, beautiful and uplifting.
Love the photo of you and your baby girl. Thank you for sharing with us Elaine — I always leave your blog better than I came.
I have some bloggy love for you over at my place. 🙂
Oh Elaine, I love the picture of you and your daughter – it says it all, she loves and admires you. Beautiful. And when I read "The sun has given its exclamation to a new day" I wanted to clap – that is beautiful. Keep your pen to the paper or fingers to the keyboard. Your "tongue is the pen of a ready writer." Psalm 45:1
Blessings and love to you Elaine.
Hi Elaine… Come on over to my place…I have an award for you!
Love,
Debbie
Hey Mrs. Elaine, I wanted to let you know I've had Baby Girl Makenna Marie!:) I have pics on my blog. I tried calling you last week and missed you. I will try to contact you soon:) I have to go feed her now!:)
Blessings,
katiegfromtennessee