Words.
I don’t have many of them these days, at least not the written kind. If you were here in person, I’d have plenty to say, but as it pertains to my writing them, I’m struggling. I don’t know if the chemo is to blame or the busyness of the season, but safe to say, either one of those might be reason enough to warrant a dry spell as far as my pen is concerned.
I hate that; there’s nothing worse for a writer than to be void of words. Certainly, I have plenty of good thoughts that come my way—inclinations that, in seasons previous, would have easily written into worthy prose. But now, as quickly as they come, they seem to vanish. By the time I arrive at my computer screen, I get confused and messed up all over again… frustrated by this new reality.
So, rather than writing nothing, I thought I’d write about my frustration, thus allowing me a moment or two of connection with you this week. I wish I had something more profound to say, something that would leave you breathless and wanting more of your Jesus. He’s certainly worthy of the chase, and it has always been my endeavor to lead you in the pursuit. And for all the things that I could tell you this morning (that currently have vacated my thought coffers), I will remind you of this one thing that I remember most prominently…
Regardless of how you and I might be feeling in this moment, regardless of life situations and difficulties, no matter the ills and aches of the flesh or the problems that land at the doors of our faith, our God is still faithful to deliver a word of hope and comfort to us via his Word every time we’re faithful to open it up for a read. Unlike my many words, or lack therein, God’s Word is never void of purpose, never lacking in pointedness or punctuation. God’s Word wasn’t written out of frustration or from a drying ink well.
When and where God had thoughts, man had inspiration. His computer screen (a.k.a. parchment or stone tablets) was never empty. Even before man put God’s divinely inspired thoughts to paper, the Word was there from the very beginning. He hovered over the dark and the deep, contemplating the many words to come. Never was he confused or messed up or frustrated by the reality of what was to be written. There was order to his thoughts, his plans, his actions; no chemo brain or busyness to impede the flow of his thought processes. Only a sanctioned progression of thinking until an accumulation of those thoughts became words that spoke light and sky, land and sea, stars and moon, plants and animals, man and woman into creation.
We didn’t arrive here, nor do we hold the things that we hold this day, because God had writer’s block and couldn’t think of anything else about which to speak. No, we are here at his determination, and I am thankful for the daily reminder of that gift—for the various Bibles that line my bookshelf and for the one that lies open within arm’s reach. I don’t have to travel very far in order to fill my heart with perfect truth. All I have to do is to make room for it; take time for it; prefer it over other activity. In doing so, I open up my thoughts toward heaven and allow Jesus to lead me in my pursuit of all things his… all things sacred. And that, my friends, is the one thing I could write you about today that leaves me breathless and wanting for more.
Jesus Christ, the Word made flesh, dwelling amongst us for a season; living within us for always.
Truly, is there anything else I could pen that would be more pertinent, more potent for your faith journey? When we stray even a step or two away from that reality with our thinking, then our words (whether written or spoken) become vacant of great purpose, leaving recipients void of anything more lasting than a momentary fill of the temporal. Heaven knows, there’s plenty of that floating around this time of year. Accordingly, we must be all the more intentional about our pursuit of the lasting Truth, about choosing our words carefully (those we read; those we speak; those we write).
I don’t ever want you to leave my blog feeling that you hold less of Jesus than when you arrived. I don’t ever want you to come here looking just for me, alone, without Jesus. I want my words to be about the journey we walk together, Jesus and me. And when they don’t, when words fail me and I am tempted to make it all about me, then I implore my Heavenly Father for a holy hush to take up residence here. Why? Because you don’t need any more filler in your life; you certainly don’t need more of me and my endless blah, blah, blah. What you need is Jesus… the Way, the Truth, the Life. He is your pathway home; I’m only required to serve as one lamppost along the way.
Thus, I will endeavor to keep doing what I’ve been doing for nearly three years now—writing a few words of witness in keeping with my kingdom conferment. Forgive me for the times when they write less; grant me grace for the occasions when they fill you temporarily. My flesh isn’t always the best conduit for faith’s dispersion. Even so, I get to try, and with God’s pulse living inside of me, there are a few occasions when I come close to getting it right. Thus, I offer this simple prayer in accordance with the pulse of my heart…
Even so, Lord Jesus, let the further words of my mouth, the continuing meditations of my heart, be found acceptable in your sight. I want to honor you with my pen in this place. I want to honor the pulse you placed within my heart so long ago. Guard me against inerrant teaching; keep me from penning anything that would deliberately dishonor the call that you’ve placed upon my life to know you more. You’ve entrusted me with much. May I always be found willing to guard that trust with sacred reverence and to dispense it accordingly. You are the Word behind my many words. Let your truth shine forth through me and through my pen. Amen.
~elaine
PS: My friend, Cindy @ Letters from Mid-life, is a beautiful photographer. Recently, I received some Scripture note cards, displaying her photography. You can get a peek at them by clicking on her etsy link here. I’m giving away two sets (each set contains 5 cards) this week to comments on this post. I love sending cards to others and am always in the market for original work by artists. These would make a great gift for someone’s stocking this year. Please take time to visit her work. Shalom.
Oh, how I understand this post. I have been in this place for months now, and my heart yearns to write words again. I am in the Word, reading, listening, grasping tidbits of exciting morsels…but the words to share them seem to stay just out of my reach…
Blessings to you, my Friend.
There's a wise and wondrous woman by the name of Elaine Olsen — perhaps you know her 🙂 and she has said to me a time or two "keep to it". My Sister, you are – you are!
I am blessed every time I come here because each time I see you loving JESUS!
Holy hugs my bloggy sister-friend!
Beautiful! That's all. That's enough. Praying you are having a good week! Much love my friend!
And again you have encouraged me. Have been there – so glad God has never had this problem. Praying for you, dear Elaine.
The paragraph that you started with "regardless of how you or I may feel at the moment…" If you had written only that paragraph, it would have been enough for me.
Emotions have been taking over, and how I need to cling to the truth…. the real Truth. My truth has been that I am extremely tired, and the thought of keeping on keeping on, pressing through has been more exhausting and depressing that normal.
I need His word of comfort and hope more than normal in these last days. I have been trying to stay close to him with sporadic intent and with what I see as very few measurable results… probably because of how sporadic I have been.
I keep trying to remember the truth of where He has taken me from, and that it was Him taking me, not any willing of my own flesh to go from there to here.
Thank you for your words, dry though you may feel. I too feel dry… your words pointed me to Him yet again.
Thank you my dear friend.
Heather
Elaine,
Beautiful post. It really does take us to the basics…Jesus and the Word. I'm pondering the basics of late and will be posting about that tomorrow.
Be sure and give yourself grace, my friend. Chemo brain is a real phenomenon so please do not let it get you all out of sorts. Your thoughts will gel again in time and they will translate just as beautifully to the screen as they once did. Grace yourself.
Leah
That was quite the encouraging post coming from someone who has no words. Praying God's blessings on you!
For someone who has know words, you seem to know exactly what to write to encourage me. Thank you for your wisdom. You surely know how much I needed this today.
Love you…
Jesus is always there with or without words…and He's always enough. He definitely met you here with your post, dear heart.
For a girl 'short' on words…these ones seem to pack a beautiful grace and love filled message! Hugs! Please trust and know His use of you and your journey in the midst of this season is shining brightly, you are His and He is using you!
Seems once you set your pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) the words came! And such words they were…Spirit-directed (I'm sure of it) toward me. After a couple of weeks of painful shingles (NOTHING compared to the challenges you are facing), I thought this morning that I felt my brain clearing a bit… It only lasted about an hour, but it was GOOD while it lasted 🙂
Love how you point us to Jesus, Elaine. Love how you point us to the Word. You're right — there's nothing better.
p.s. Don't worry — you're not the only one who struggles with brain fog from time to time. I'm right there with you! 🙂
Elaine, I'm in tears.
You can't imagine how badly I needed to hear your message today.
And if that's writing on chemo brain….WOW.
Thank you. Your light shines because you shine the Light through your gift for writing.
May God bless you and keep you near. May He ease every pain and burden you bear, tonight and every night.
I identify with your lack of words – and I'm not on chemo. But I can tell – as with me – that if you are faithful to write anyway… determined to pick up the pen, He starts filling the pages with a love letter from Him to you or to the waiting world.
You just did that here. God is an amazing communicator – isn't He?
Love you, Elaine. You are always in my heart and prayers – blessings for a joy filled Christmas with Jesus and family and friends.
Patrina <")>><
warrior bride in boots
Umm, and you were thinking you didn't have much to say.
Just wanted to make a connection.
Mission accomplished, sweet girl.
Sweet dreams.
this is beautiful, Elaine – and a post that can be echoed by my heart as well.
I love the way God causes your words to flow with such grace and eloquence. He truly speaks through your words and I thank you and I thank Him.
And so, precious friend, in having nothing to say you once again hit the mark. He understands our heart's motives and that is a profound comfort when I disappoint myself. So glad you found your way to your parchment, dear Teller of Truth.
xoxo,
Elaine, I never visit here without knowing I have the appropriate parcel of time to give. I cannot ever read your posts and rush away. Each deserves quiet pondering and thought so that prayer and application can be given. Never do I have to strain to see Jesus, for you make Him visible and desirable. You my friend are continually faithful to the call He has placed on your life. Never doubt that, even on the days you feel less inspired, never doubt that God is using your pen. Your life is so entwined with Christ, that it is impossible for you to share a reflection without the reader being stirred by His presence and met with His grace. I'll be honest, there have been days in the past where I have avoided His look into my life here, knowing that Light would penetrate my darkness and I've hid from His truth. Other days I have come knowing my heart will feel that conviction, and longing for Him to forgive and welcome me home. Most precious, and most often, are the days where sweet fellowship abounds, and I am captiviated by His love for me here and challenged to live a life worthy of my calling.
Sweet friend, the words He writes through you are with great purpose and meaning. You will never know the full impact your life has had even on just one….me. I will be forever and eternally thankful.
Love ya so much,
Joy
Elaine, you are such a pastor's wife. Trying to care for others when God clearly has you in a place of receiving, not giving, and how difficult receiving is for someone like you who knows how to give, give, give.
It's okay if your inkwell is dry for a spell, after all, God took a 400 year leave of absence, and I'm pretty sure he didn't feel bad about it or have to explain it to his audience.
All's grace – get well my friend.
Love,
Dawn
PS – Your image in this post is breathtaking.
Elaine your frustration is evidence of your desire to honor Him even if you feel like the words don't come. They did, in fact, come quite nicely when you put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard as the case may be). It's your desire to walk every step of this journey with Him, and our desire to do that as well, that has us meeting here on your blog. blessings, marlene
Elaine, if I didn't know any better I'd think you wrote this directly to me. LORD knows I needed it. Praise God for HIS promptness. Merry CHRISTmas. Blessings!
Elaine, for someone who feels that she "struggles" with her words you provide an amazingly reverent and poignant discourse. Thank you so much for your inspirational words, and have a Blessed Day.
The thought that plays through my head as I read this is: "What a sure sign that He is increasing, even as Elaine isn't."
It's a worthy, beautiful and – as always – transparent post.
I can hardly wait to see/hear what The Word will pen through your hand; words yet to come. They are, even now, being formed in the void.
Love you!
Kathleen
Blogging as a lampost…I like that image. It's my desire as well: Jesus, always, only, whether in the words on my blog or the words of my mouth, may He be honored and glorified in all things! Rest assured, sister, that He shines brightly in the words you post and I daresay the words you do not. He is worthy!
Elaine, your "words" are just as good, if not better, than they've ever been! God uses you!
Love you friend!
Marilyn…in Mississippi
Dearest Elaine, I feel helpless right now to adequately express my gratitude and thanks for your gift-the c.d. is ministering to my spirit even now. As for your writing, I always come away with more of Jesus and more passion for Jesus. I understand the frustrations you have because my own sister had many of the same from chemo-brain. Please know that I'm praying for you to be encouraged as you have encouraged me this day and this week.
Huge hugs to you.
Love, Noreen
Thank you Elaine…just really , honestly Thank You…You spoke what I needed to hear. I am featuring your post in my "Weekly Reader" section this week….Hugs and God Bless.
wifeforthejourney:
Even when words fail you and writer's block is the order of your day – I am blessed to live with, and bear witness too you faith each day.
I know so many of your blog readers anxiously await the outpouring of your heart that comes with each new post, but I love being so spoiled as to have you live and in person each day!
Love,
Billy
you got it right, my friend. every time i come here the Lord speaks through your written words because they are His.
words will come, words will go. but the Word of the Lord stands forever.
I know the feeling of finding yourself without words.
After awhile I knew it was time to step back. It was not that He was not speaking to me….but the words were for me alone.
Now and again I feel the desire to write..and I have rarely…but the push to put something out there has not come back.
I love when His words flow freely through my finger tips…without His voice I am just a clanging symbol. 🙂
The words will come again….after.
Love you girl…and i continue to pray.
Praying for you, dear one. My brain is not working well during this season. But prayers… yes, that I can do for you.
And thank you for writing… and keeping to it. You inspire me. Really.
And when I read here… I never leave without feeling closer to my Lord.
Much love and blessings!
Rest assured, I always find Jesus here…. and thats why I keep coming back. Your are such an encourager!!
Peace and blessings and healing to you, Elaine.
Debbie
So glad you are sharing with us…as we can all connect to this!
Many days I feel I have nothing to say – but WANT to say something. In those moments, the frustrations bubble up. I think other creative endeavors might help bring out the words that long to be written. Painting, singing or maybe even re-reading the Psalms. (I think David could REALLY relate to this post!)