Spilt Milk and Grace . . .

If I could take back the last thirty minutes of my life and live them over, I would.

I wouldn’t have yelled at my daughter for spilling the milk in the utensil drawer. Instead, I would have offered her some grace and some tips on cleaning up the mess. I blew it, and the only excuse I have to offer up for my poorly chosen response is my carnality—my fleshly resistance to the work of the cross. And really, that isn’t much of an excuse. I know better.

Haven’t I spent a lifetime in the Word of God and submitted my heart to the refining fires of the Holy Spirit’s purification? No need to answer. I know the answer. “Yes” and “Apparently not enough.” When will I learn? When will holiness take hold? When will I stop doing what I don’t want to do, thereby ending up regretting the “do” I’ve done?

But for the grace and mercy of God, I’m toast. Done. Finished. Incomplete and completely hopeless. My righteousness is as filthy rags before the Father. Oh, I know it could have been worse. Trust me. I’ve been worse. I have some yesterdays filled with worse, some rancid history—a season or two in my past where I was deeply entrenched in willful sin, feeding the desires of my flesh and damaging my soul’s pulse. Thank God for his patience, for his willingness to tarry a while longer . . . long enough for me to come to my senses and to realize that a swine’s filling was a poor substitute for heaven’s bread.

My stomach sours with remembrance. My heart swells with relief for the mercy afforded therein. It’s been a long road, this grace journey. Some days, I still feel like the wretch in the middle of an amazing grace. Some days, I feel like a saint. Today I just feel numb. Suckered in by circumstance, I fell prey to the schemes of the enemy, and, in doing so, I became the predator—a mom sucking the life out of a moment and out a soul that depends on me to know better. To live better. To give better.

I’m sorry, sweet daughter of mine, for failing you today. Grace should be the standard in our home, and love should lead the way. It would be so much easier for you to understand the cross and its mercy and the big God who bent low to offer them both if I could get my act together and live accordingly. Your forgiveness is rich and your love all the more. Today, you’ve been Jesus to me. In doing so, you’ve erased some of the sting of the last thirty minutes. I promise that the next thirty will live better for both of us.

No more crying over spilt milk. God will put us back together. I love you, Amelia.

Love,

Momma

PS: My friend, Laura Boggess, wrote some kind words about Beyond Cancer’s Scars. You can read her thoughts and sign-up to win a copy of the book by clicking here. Even more grace added to my day. Thanks, friend.

 

Gratefulness . . .

Morning gratefulness. I’m choosing it. Where do I begin?

With her and this post she wrote about her mother, Glory, four years ago. It was one of my first connections with LauraLee; her story and her Glory touched me deeply back then—a witness that reaches through to today to remind me about the enduring love and hope of Jesus that triumphs over trouble and that brings glory out of suffering.

Secondly, I am grateful for the skillful work of Jen from Blue Yonder Designs. My transition from Blogger to WordPress was not a smooth one. Since that time, I’ve experienced no less than a few headaches with trying to work out the kinks. Accordingly, some changes needed to be made to the design, and Jen has been with me every step of the way. Not only is she techno-wiz (she’s been renamed by my husband as “super-technology woman”), she’s a joy to work with . . . easy, laid-back, available, and kind. If you’re thinking about making the switch to WordPress or would like some help with your current design, please consider using Jen. She has my solid recommendation, along with my respect.

This morning, I’m also grateful for the ministry and outreach of Lisa Shaw. Have you had the opportunity to listen in to her radio program on Thursdays? If not, you can visit this link at anytime to take advantage of her archived shows. Not long ago, I received a box of goodies from Lisa which included a copy of her book, You are Beautiful in God’s Eyes, and a teaching CD, Prayers from the Heart. Both of them are powerful representations and demonstrations of the Holy Spirit’s work in Lisa’s life. Her teaching ministry has been God’s tool of sacred transformation in my heart and life these past several months. I am privileged to call her my friend, and I know that you’ll be blessed by joining her on the pilgrim road.

a sampling of Cindy’s work

Today, I’m giving away a copy of Lisa’s book and the teaching CD to one of you. In addition, I’m including a package of notecards from my favorite card designer, Cindy. You can visit her Etsy store by clicking on this link. Cindy’s creative eye never ceases to amaze me. She has a knack for getting it right, every single time. I adore her work and am also pleased to call her my friend.

All four women—LauraLee with her writing, Jen with her technology, Lisa with her teaching, and Cindy with her creativity—reaching out to bless the world through their giftings. I am grateful for each one of them and the role they play in my life and am honored to share their work with you. Nothing blesses me more than to see others operating out of their giftedness and applying their willingness and “want to” to the creative pulse placed inside of them by Father God.

He’s put that same creative pulse inside all of us. He can’t help himself. He’s the Creator, and you, friend, are made in his image. You’re not void of creativity. You’re filled with it. You may not consider yourself a creative individual, but there is within you an artistic, inspired bent for innovation.

Take some time today to consider your giftings, further still, to put them to good use . . . God’s use. You are never more effective for the kingdom than when you’re operating out of your giftedness and your willingness therein. God’s signature on you, in you, and through you blesses the world. As always . . .

Peace for the journey,

What creative pulse resides within you? Leave a comment below to enter the give-away.

moving the Kingdom forward in the next sixty minutes . . .

Movement wins. If you’ve been a regular reader at my blog in the past year, then you know that I chose this phrase to serve as my “anchor word” for 2012. Forward movement is a worthy pursuit, whether in the physical or spiritual realm of advancement. When we make the deliberate decision to move forward in faith, then it’s a win, not just for us but for the kingdom of God as well.

Along these lines, I’d like to offer you a challenge today—a single way that you can move your faith forward, thereby advancing God’s kingdom. It may sound simple, but I imagine it might be harder in practice. That’s what we’re going to do . . . practice our faith in a practical way. Practice is often the conduit for transformation. Great teaching will only take us so far, but great teaching applied in earnest unlocks the sacred potential in all of us to move forward in our perfection. So if you’re willing, let’s apply this one change to the way we spend our next hour (whenever this hour arrives for you).

Two steps are required. First, listen to the Word. Second, do the Word. Ready? Then listen up:

“So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.” –2 Corinthians 5:16

Now, do this one thing: No longer regard anyone from a worldly point of view.

Translation? Stop looking at the people in front of you from a worldly perspective. Stop viewing them as flesh and blood. Instead, view them as soul and spirit. See them not as temporal beings but, rather, as the eternal children of God. Look deeply into the faces of those around you, those who’ll cross your path in the next sixty minutes, and find the face of God. Notice Jesus and his pulse as he hovers around them. Recognize a single human life for what it is—a created being fashioned and formed in the image of God, a life worthy of Calvary’s investment. Grace’s investment.

With the Holy Spirit’s help, you can do this, friends. We can do this. In doing so, we move the kingdom of God forward. We may not be privy to the results of our investment or feel the earth move beneath our feet, but we can be certain that the heavens are marking our paces and turning the pages of the kingdom calendar in great anticipation of the arrival of its King.

This is not the time for weak faith and shoddy investments. This is the season for bold faith and Jesus investments. No, God doesn’t need us to move his kingdom forward, but because of his great love for us, he offers us the privilege of sacred participation. He gives us the opportunity and the occasion to see his people, all of his people, from his vantage point.

No longer regard anyone from a worldly point of view. The souls in front of us cannot afford our negligence. So get busy; the clock’s ticking. Fifty-seven minutes and counting. Make them count. As always . . .

Peace for the journey,

Lessons from the Lunchroom {the next 24 hours}

It’s Sunday evening. A table usually reserved for meal times has, instead, become a makeshift teacher’s desk. Lesson plans strewn about, books, DVD’s, grade books, red pens, and unsharpened pencils litter the oak top, alongside my tiredness. I put my head down, realizing again, the enormity of the task in front of me. I haven’t graded papers over the weekend, haven’t prepared for the week ahead.

Week four, our 16th day of homeschooling. Yes, that’s where we are. Marking off days on the school calendar, fully entrenched in a new routine that feels less new now, more normal. I sigh, and then I remember . . . a lesson I learned not long ago. A life-learning that came to me under the teacher named Cancer. That lesson?

The capacity and the great willingness to live within the context of a twenty-four hour time frame. To not look beyond today, realizing that today is all I’ve been given. Today holds enough worry of its own. No need to borrow beyond this day’s allowance. Should tomorrow arrive for me, I’ll have enough time and enough determination to deal with it then. But as for today, I’ll keep my attention and focus on the task at hand, give myself permission to rest here, and establish the boundaries that prevent me from going further.

It’s a good way to live. I’ve not always applied this lesson to my life. I’m not sure I really learned it in my younger years. Certainly, I heard it . . . from the pulpit, from my parents, in my readings and with my studying. But application of truth is sometimes best learned firsthand, away from prescriptive learning while entrenched in the labors of practical living—applied living, where the tenets of our faith are hammered out on the pavement of everyday life.

The capacity and great willingness to live within the context of a twenty-four hour time frame doesn’t become our default until we’re required to go there, to live there for a season. A time when twenty-four hours is enough, when living through those next twenty-four hours is the gift. Sometimes we live ahead of the gift. We strive to hold more than our daily allowance, wanting to have it all figured out, leaving little wiggle room for the contingencies that frequently interrupt our best laid plans.

Best laid plans are rarely lived plans. Certainly, a well thought-out, established plan is a framework for success, allowing us some measure of control over the outcome. But at the end of the day, even in the middle of our day, and occasionally in those beginning moments of our day, there comes a scenario we didn’t consider during our Sunday evening planning sessions. Sometimes, life takes a turn we didn’t anticipate while charting out our weekly agendas, and it’s probably a really good thing we weren’t forewarned about its arrival.

Can you imagine what our planners might look like had we known that “it” was coming (whatever that “it” is for you)? Sweet mercy, there wouldn’t be enough white-out to fix the mess! When life gets derailed, it’s better to keep the pencil and the eraser handy, rather than the pen. Sometimes, perhaps, throwing them both aside is the best course of action . . . just let it happen, let life come, without trying to control it all on the front side of its advent.

This is, perhaps, the grace in it all—the joy of finally being able to let go of all the striving, to release the expectations of daily life, and to live fully in the realization that these next twenty-four hours are all that our precious lives were meant to handle. This doesn’t mean that we don’t look forward to tomorrow, that we don’t plan a little, control a little, and pray a ton. It simply and profoundly means that we save tomorrow’s striving until tomorrow and live the gift in front of us.

And so, I lift my head from this table, and I acknowledge that I won’t be able to fully plan my week in these moments. Instead, I’ll lock into the urgent, that which is pressing, that which is called tomorrow morning. It feels good and right to downgrade my focus, to keep it small, thus freeing up some space in my heart and soul for the contingencies that might work their way into a loosely planned schedule.

The capacity and great willingness to live within the context of a twenty-four hour time frame.

Are you there yet? Are you willing? Can you whittle your plans, your thoughts, and your worries down to the next twenty-four hours? Nothing more is required of you. Why not live this freedom in this moment? Why not grant yourself permission to fully live here, to stop here, and to travel no further down the road, save for the next step in front of you?

It’s a beautiful way to live a day. It’s a trusting way to live a life.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” –Matthew 6:34

living life forward . . .

I recognize this girl. Perhaps you do as well.

Every now and again, she shows up on the front curb of my heart, marks off her thirty-six inches of personal space, and refuses to budge from her spot . . . not even for the garbage truck. She’ll risk a little stink in order to stay there . . . stay stuck. There’s something about the sidelines that appeal to her. It’s safer on the curb, less risk and less trouble. Life is hard, cruel at times, knocking her out of the game and keeping her mired in the pain.

Life on hold instead of life lived forward. This is how the hurt never heals.

She doesn’t see it that way; she can’t, because she’s yet to take the first step in a new direction. No one blames her. They’ve stood by and watched the world take out its frustration on her body, mind, and soul. Heartache has numbed her desire, crushed her spirit, and pressed her to the curb. What used to be no longer is, a realization clearly seen and deeply felt there, along the sidelines, while the world journeys on without her. She grieves for yesterday, for what might have been had that soul-eating “something” not arrived to rob her of her progress. And so she stops moving forward, at least for today, and tells herself that tomorrow she’ll get in the game; tomorrow she’ll do the hard work of soul-survivorship.

Life on hold instead of life lived forward. This is how the hurt never heals. This is how the hurt never even has the opportunity to heal. A life resigned to the sidelines is a life resigned to less—to an existence shackled to pain rather than an existence shaped by its prod.

Yes, I recognize this girl—her tears, her frustration, her resignation, and her fears. Maybe you recognize her as well. Maybe she is you. Maybe you’ve been wounded by life . . . by a game-changing punch to the gut that has mocked your strength, rocked your faith, and kicked you to the curb. Life’s been cruel, leaving you with scars that continue to throb their witness. You carry around in your flesh a tumor or two, a soul-eating something that continues to devour your health at a rapid rate. You don’t identify it as a cancer—a disease that occurs when abnormal body cells replicate uncontrollably, thereby replacing the healthy ones. Still and yet, a hidden malignancy exists, and left untreated, it threatens to hold you captive to the one person you thought you’d never be—

A boy, a girl, . . . a man, a woman resigned to the curb—life on hold instead of life lived forward. A life where the hurt never heals.

God wants more for you, for you to live forward with hope and with movement. He hasn’t created you for life on the sidelines, despite the many sorrows and sufferings that have, understandably, pushed you to the curb for a season. Instead, he invites you, even as he has invited me, to take hold of his hand and to find your place on the road of faith—the journey of trust that leads you onward toward wholeness.

This is why I wrote Beyond Cancer’s Scars, an invitation for the wounded—those who suffer from all manner of ills and aches and soul-eating “somethings”—to step courageously away from the curb and to enter the fray to lay claim to a stronger spirit in Jesus Christ.

Life lived forward instead of life on hold. This is how our hurt begins to heal. One beautiful, courageous, and intentional step at a time. If you are someone who is living life on hold, then I invite you to take hold of my hand and, together, we will take hold of the heart and hands of Jesus Christ and start living forward. Time to get in the game, friends. Life is so much better with you in it. As always . . .

Peace for the journey,

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