an official welcome and give-away

Sixteen changes of address. I counted today, and that’s how many I can credit to my life history. I’ve probably missed one or two, and I’m certain I’m not finished. What I am certain of is the temperamental nature of the moving process. It’s an intricate, delicate course of action and shouldn’t be undertaken lightly.

Accordingly, when I contemplated “moving” my website from blogger to wordpress, I did so with some fear and trembling. It’s not been an easy move for me, but thanks to Jen @ Blue Yonder Design, things are settling down, and I’m learning how to rest in my new home. Jen has graciously worked out some of the kinks and quirks that inevitably come with making such a move. The best part about my moving (unlike the sixteen moves I’ve made with a moving van) is the fact that you made this move with me! When I arrived at my new home on WordPress Avenue, you were here, welcoming me into your lives, even as you have been welcoming me for the past four years. It is a blessing and honor to “do life” with you!

Along those lines, I’d like to open up my front door today, welcome you in, and offer you an opportunity to win a few housewarming gifts. Two of you will receive a package at your front door containing the following items (some of my very favorite things):

My good friend, Rebecca, makes jewelry. In particular, she’s a beader. Over the last few weeks, we’ve spent some time together, designing a survivor’s bracelet that will be available for purchase when my book, Beyond Cancer’s Scars, is released this summer. In the meantime, she whipped up these two beauties for me to use as part of my house-warming give-away.

And how about these beautiful note cards, photographed by my friend, Cindy! I use her cards on a regular basis, always to great applause by the recipients. If you’re a card-sender, check out Cindy’s website to order a set.

Audrey Assad. Heard of her? This is her latest musical compilation. I adore her and am glad to be able to share her work with you.

Last but certainly not least, there are two of my favorite fellas—Harry & David. Ever had them over for dessert? Oh my. Any of their delicacies will do, but the dark-chocolate covered raisins are some of my favorites. Yes, I’m going to try and include them in the give-away despite the onset of summer (subject to change due to extreme weather in your area).

And there you have it. A few of my favorite things to two of you, my gracious, faithful readers. For a chance to win, leave a comment here telling me one of your favorite things about your home. It could be something as huge as a big screen television or as small as a favorite spot to have your morning coffee. What delights are lurking in your home? You can earn another chance to win by sharing this post on your facebook and/or twitter pages. Be sure to leave me a separate comment letting me know. This contest will remain open until midnight, Sunday, May 27th. Two winners will be chosen by random drawing.

Again, thank you for the privilege of allowing me into your life and for joining me on the journey of faith. There are days when my world feels pretty small. Having you here enlarges it. I love you all so very much. As always…

Peace for the journey,
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Relay for Life… {a father’s post}

Relay for Life… {a father’s post}

It is that time of the year—Relay for Life.

 

I don’t know how it is in your part of the country, but in Garner, North Carolina, it seems like everybody is involved in Relay for Life in one way or another. After all the counting is done, this small town will raise nearly a quarter of a million dollars for the American Cancer Society—the largest contributor in all of Wake County.

 

Jane and I have been involved in Relay for Life through our church, community, schools, and Rotary for years, but this year it was a little different. My daughter, Elaine, came to walk ‘the survivor’s walk.’ She is an 18-month survivor of breast cancer and announced that to the crowd, along with scores of others; and with each announcement came the audience’s applause. It seems as if everyone there was ‘touched’ by this scourge. And each witness became a sign and a hope that one day cancer will be defeated.

When Elaine came near the end of the survivor’s walk, she noticed me standing along the path, applauding. She began to weep, and motioned us to come and walk with her. Jane and I, with our arms around our daughter, walked and wept together—thanking God for all the kind providences that have presided over all our lives. It was a good ‘moment’—a divine moment.

 

And we intend to ‘walk’ as much as we can, for as long as we can, and whenever we can, not only for this cause, but for the love of a daughter who looks to the future with radiance and resolve. And I suspect that all the moments left to us in this journey will be grace-filled moments—and one of them came this morning after church. A lady who was at the event said, “It was so good to see you walking with your daughter on Friday night.” I smiled and said, “Thank you… I have been walking with her in just about every corner of her life’s experiences, and that ‘walk’ was the most precious.”

 

So, walk often with those you love. Enjoy the trip. It’ll last forever and ever!

 

A Little Different

 

When it’s your daughter

out there in the Cancer Walk,

it’s a little different.

Probably it won’t be out there

‘cause you’ll be in there,

holding hands with

your eighteen-month survivor

as her children applaud each mile.

That’s what we do

down in Garner, NC—

walk and run relays

to stomp out disease by any name,

raise $$ by the thousands

to ease the pain of others.

It’s a little different

when the whole town comes out

and says We’ve had it with this disease,

enough already—we are the victors!

People like this stare cancer down,

and when they see a father crying

as he proudly strides

With his 46 yr old daughter,

her mother overwhelmed with gratitude

as the smile on that daughter

swells in pride and profound relief—

like I say, they stare cancer down

down here in Garner, North Carolina,

and restore families

to the thrill of life.

Men and women of faith

see this as a divine parade,

a memorial to the miracle of healing.

The secular world says

No problem with that—

let us help, too—

we’re part of this family.

It was a little different

on this particular Friday night—

you see, it was my daughter out there,

out there a long time,

preparing for this walk.

There were moments

we didn’t know

if the calendar would give us this night.

We were out there—

lost and stumbling—

but on this particular Friday night

we were very much together.

Through my tears

I could see the incredible beauty

on the perfect body

of my holy child-

I was and am

the proudest father in the world.

 

Written by Uncle Bill Killian and Chuck Killian

For my daughter and niece, Elaine Killian Olsen

Garner, North Carolina

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

 

 

hell-bent…

 

Hell-bent. Are you? Am I?

 

I know. A heavy question, but since I used this phrase in my last post, I thought it deserved some further exploration. Merriam Webster defines hell-bent as “stubbornly and often recklessly determined.” The earliest mention of the phrase in our English vernacular dates back to a line in the poem The History of Colonel Nathaniel Bacon’s Rebellion in Virginia by Benjamin Coleman (1673-1747):

 

“Ab-origines in Arms…did then resort,

In Haste to Susquehanna Fort,

Hell bent on Thoughts of Massacree.”

 

Apparently, there was a price on Colonel Bacon’s head, some “ab-origines” stubbornly determined in their pursuit of justice cloaked in massacre. I wonder if we’re prone to the same sort of behavior. A stubbornness, recklessness that resides within our hearts and that pushes us toward destruction—a massacre of the body, and ultimately the spirit, that lands us smack dab in the middle of hell.

 

Hell-bent. A phrase that, in my opinion, dates much further back than Coleman’s imagination. A truth that dates back to the beginning.

 

“Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden, and there he put the man he had formed. And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. … And the LORD God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.’… When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” –Genesis 2:8-9, 16-17, 3:6

 

Hell-bent. Determined sin, stubbornly and recklessly chosen from the very beginning. Adam and Eve, massacring their flesh, bending their will in the direction of hell.

 

We cannot escape our genetic and our spiritual DNA. Without the transformational, sacred work of the cross, we remain hell-bent. With the cross, we overcome our stooped stature to bend our knees in another direction. With Jesus, we bend toward heaven—heaven-bent. With Jesus, our knees fall to glory rather than destruction.

 

So what’s the gain of a life that is heaven-bent? Well, to understand this we must visit its contrast. It’s much easier to digest the wonder and witness of heaven, but to study the wilderness and witness of hell? Few will go there; it’s just too barren a place for those of us who are focused on the goodness of God. But that’s just it… therein lies the core definition of hell. To live in God’s goodness, is to live with the understanding of its contrast.

 

“He [God] will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power….” –2 Thessalonians 1:8-9

 

Hell is the absence of God and his goodness… completely. Yes, we talk about “hell on earth”—seasons of life seemingly void of God’s presence and his goodness, but truthfully, “hell on earth” is nothing compared to hell for all eternity. Whether you’re a Christian or not, if you’re upright and moving today, then you’re experiencing the goodness of God. Life belongs to the Creator. The fact that you’re actively participating in this privilege is a testimony to God’s love for you.

 

Have you enjoyed a cup of coffee today? A walk? Creation—flowers, scents, and sunshine? Have you been blessed by the love of a friend, spouse, child? Been hugged lately? Had a good conversation? A good nap? A good thought? Are you educated? Employed? Free to choose your habits, consumptions, neglects? Have you known the warmth of a blanket, a bath, an intimacy with your husband, your wife? A good book? A good movie? A favorite television show? How about a delicious plate of food… even a stick of gum? Music, money, and merriment of a wide variety?

 

Anything good in your life today? Then thank God. Whether or not you’re willing to recognize him as the source of all goodness doesn’t mean that all goodness doesn’t begin and end with him. All goodness begins and ends with God… every blessed thing that we experience in our lives.

 

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” –James 1:17

 

To be hell-bent is to determine in our hearts that we are willing to live without it all in the end. Without God. Without goodness. Complete and utter emptiness except for the very deep realization of just how far that emptiness extends. A massacre of the soul that will not recover… ever.

 

I don’t tell you this to shame you; heaven knows there was a time in my life when I was hell-bent, bowing low and bowing often in the direction of sin and eternal destruction. I don’t tell you this to judge you; judgment belongs to the Father. No, I write you these words to warn you, just in case there are some of you who’ve never accepted the fact that there is a life beyond this one. Heaven is for real, but so is hell. There isn’t anything you’ve experienced on earth that comes close to matching the actuality of what awaits you if you continue to bend your heart in opposition to God’s truth.

 

I cannot imagine a life apart from God. I’m glad I don’t have to, but there are those who claim not to see him; not to feel him; not to know him. I would tell those people (maybe even you) to look at the multiple goodnesses in your life. In them, you will find God… a fleeting glance of what you risk losing should you continue in your hell-bent determination to do life your own way. You may think that you’re living apart from God, that there is no God, and that you are free to live without consequence. But you would be wrong.

 

No one lives apart from God; no one lives without consequence. This is our Father’s world, and God will have the final word on our eternal residency. He, alone, holds the key to forever.

 

Hell-bent; heaven-bent. In which direction are your knees bending this day? Choose wisely. Choose soberly. Choose today. An earthly tomorrow is not promised to us, but an eternal one is. As for me and my heart, I choose a forever with God and all of his goodness. I pray you choose the same. As always…

 

Peace for the journey,
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PS: For any of you who are struggling with your hell-bent tendencies and would like prayer or to discuss things further, please feel free to contact me by clicking on this link. Shalom.

 

 

 

 

 

Beginning Days… {the ocean is still free}

Beginning Days… {the ocean is still free}

 

The ocean is still free. So I said to myself this past weekend while spending a few days on the shores of the Atlantic.

The ocean is still free. Free to roam. Free to breathe. Free to birth. Free to be.

Mankind has tried to control it, has sloppily put its fingerprints into it, but mankind has been unable to stop it. Freely the tide rolls in; freely it retracts. The ocean keeps a pace all its own, unwilling to cede ownership to anyone but its Creator. The ocean knows to Whom it belongs. The ocean remembers its beginning.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.” –Genesis 1:1-2

Beginning days. God, darkness, and deep waters. Indeed, the ocean remembers its beginning. Do you remember yours?

” —the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. … But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” –Genesis 2:7, 20-25

Beginning days. God, dust, breath, man.

Beginning days. God, man, rib, woman.

Beginning days. God, man, woman, one flesh.

a beautiful momen to watch taking place… just God, the preacher, man, woman, and a couple of curious on-lookers

 

Life was simpler back then, in those beginning days. Life was perfect. Life was, as God meant for it to be.

But then, life changed. Less perfect. Less edenic. Confused and greatly burdened by sin’s curse. Somewhere between those beginning days and these days… our days, life got very messy and our remembrances of Eden mostly forgotten. And when Eden is forgotten—when beginning understanding and truth are traded in for modern day theory—then our nakedness no longer matters. We no longer notice it; instead, we’re hell-bent on exposing it… all in the name of personal freedom.

But this isn’t freedom, friends. This is bondage. This is being chained to our flesh, and this is when we find ourselves in grave danger of missing the great point of our lives—to surrender our flesh over to faith and back into the hands of the One who created it… in the beginning. To not allow our flesh to master us but, instead, to master our flesh through the blood-stained covering of Christ’s cross and through the transformational work of the Holy Spirit’s willing presence and power in our lives. This is freedom… God’s way. This is why the ocean is still free. The ocean is still willing to let God be in control.

The ocean is still free because the ocean has not forgotten its beginning. We would do well not to forget ours.

Peace for the journey,
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walking all the day long…

“What… do you just walk all day long?”

So asked my neighbor while pulling out of his driveway this morning. I broke routine with my walking today. Normally, I wait until the afternoon before hitting the pavement. That’s when he usually walks, our paths almost always crossing. Thus, the reason behind his humorous remark to me.

I know he didn’t really mean it… didn’t really assume that I walked all day long; it was just his way of connecting with me. But after he pulled away, I thought about his question, his false assumption—that I was an all-day walker. What would that look like… walking all day? What if my daily focus was more about the steps I am taking rather than the ones I’m not? What if life was more about moving forward rather than staying in place? How differently might my heart beat… my faith beat if I kept a steady pace 24-7? If heart-health is attached to foot work, then a full day’s worth of walking would yield a stronger foundation, don’t you think?

The problem is… I’m not an all-day walker. I’m a part-time walker. I walk some of each day… try to clock in at least an hour and 10,000 steps on my pedometer. But when the prescribed stepping is over, I am tempted to rest. To stop my forward progression in favor of the couch and the four walls that often serve as confinement rather than refreshment.

As it goes with my physical walking, so it goes with my spiritual walking. Oh that I could walk with faith, in faith all day long—an all-day faith walker! Now that kind of movement would yield some heart-health.

Faith doesn’t stop when the prescribed number of steps has been mastered. Faith keeps moving forward. Faith isn’t cultivated on the couch; faith is cultivated on the streets where movement isn’t an option but rather a requirement for those wanting to find their way home. When faith stops walking, faith stops growing. And a faith that stops growing is a faith in danger of quitting. Stopping. Relinquishing all hope for and in the promise of home.

So, for the love of home and God and heart-health, let’s get moving, friends. Let’s get off the couch of spiritual bankruptcy and start walking forward in faith. Make your goal, even as I’m making it mine, to be an all-day faith walker, so that others won’t have to wonder about our walking “all day long.” Instead, they’ll just know it’s the truth.

Movement wins. I’ll meet you on the road. As always…

Peace for the journey,

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