I didn’t want to go to sleep last night.
Not because I was scared of the dark but because in doing so … in succumbing to a night’s slumber … I was concerned about missing something. A Jesus kind of something. A something that sometimes comes to us in the deep of night when the rest of the world has kindly found its quiet so that we can find our God.
Last night I tossed and I turned and I thought about God. He was there, ever present before me and stirring my imagination in incomparable measure. I couldn’t shut him down. I didn’t want to, so I fought it. Vigorously. Painfully and willfully, until I could no longer force my flesh to the contrary.
My sleep was fitful; I had the “groggies” and the dark circles to prove it this morning as I rolled out of bed to prepare my heart for worship. But it was worth it. Who needs sleep when Jesus is on the brain? Who indeed?!
I’m not sure how I arrived at my late night wrestling, but I have a clue. Prior to going to bed, I spent some time perusing some of my favorite blogs. I came across this one. Its author always makes me pause. She’s eloquent in her delivery of her heart and never ceases to stop me in my tracks and make me think. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I laugh, but most of the time, I simply read and absorb and speak my whispered “yes” to her pen and to my God.
It’s not that her life is overly fantastic. Like most of us, she’s a “day in, day out” kind of person. Her life doesn’t live on the stage nor does she wear a title of fame and fortune. She simply walks her days and writes her thoughts and allows her readers to join her on the road. Even though we’ve never met, I feel the tug of the thread that ties our hearts together despite the miles and choices that separate our journeys.
I thought a long time about my friend last night … about the connection that we share and why her words strike a chord within me. And in the midst of my pondering, just as clearly as I’ve ever sensed the voice of God speaking to me in my spirit, I heard him saying this…
Laura pays attention to life.
“What? Could you say that again, Father? I’m not sure I heard you correctly.”
Laura pays attention to life.
“What does that look like, Father?”
Like details. Like pausing long enough to consider the noises around her. Like being willing to bend to those noises and to pay homage to the moment. Like wrapping up all the truth of a single encounter and writing its worth with all the tenderness a heart can hold. Like finding me in the details. Like…
paying attention to life.
“Well then, Father, teach me to pay attention. Teach me what it means to bow to the moment and to live my life with a richer understanding that you can be found in each one of them.”
And with that, friends, my night’s contemplation began. A conversation with God. A face to face encounter with the only God who can be known and who longs for us to feel the rhythm of his heartbeat as we go and while on the road.
Paying attention to life. It starts for us even as it started for the Apostle Peter.
“Listen to him.”
When we do …
when we stop our mouths from running and our selfishness from needing,
when we refuse our agendas their consumption and our preferences their pleasure,
when we silence our minds from chaos and our determination from willful control,
then we, like the privileged three, will look up and see our exceptional and only Jesus in all of his glory, knowing that we have stood in the presence of sacred moment.
Paying attention to life. Stopping long enough to pay homage to a single moment. That is when we will see our Jesus unfolding his extraordinary kingdom into our ordinary everyday. And to hold that? To walk the soil of that kind of sacred sowing?
Well, for that, my fellow pilgrims, I will labor to fight sleep. I will entreat a night’s wrestling in hopes of receiving a Father’s beholding. I will toss and turn and struggle to override my flesh so that I can take hold of the face of God and carry his glory with me down the mountain into the valley below.
Oh, that we would fix our gaze in intentional pause before our God this day. How he longs to show himself faithful to each one of us when we do. Thus, I pray…
Father, help me to pay attention to life; stop me, pause me, push me and prod me to my knees and to my silence until I can no longer see me but only you in your extravagant splendor and holiness. Embed your glory within my frame. Splash the truth of your living witness all over me until I’m dripping wet with you, Jesus. Forgive me for thinking that my words, my agenda and my needs, are more important than your presence. Break through the clouds this day for my friends, and show them your glory. Penetrate the enemy’s schemes to steal, kill, and destroy, with the awe-inspiring and conquering witness of who you are. Surround our lives with your presence, and then move us forward in obedience to share your truth with a world that needs to stop talking and to start paying attention. You, alone, are worthy of our heart’s pause. Humbly, I concede mine to your revelation this day. Amen.
Copyright © May 2009 – Elaine Olsen
PS: In honor of my friend, Laura, I would like to honor her with one of the give-away books, “Finding an Unseen God” by Alicia Chole. The other two winners (randomly drawn by my youngins’) are Joanne at Blessed and Sharon at Sit With Me Awhile. Congratulations ladies. Please send me your snail mail via my email, and as soon as I receive the books from Alicia, I will send them to you.
Elaine,What a beautiful post. Thank-u for sharing.I really need your prayers right now.If you get a chance you can check my blog for info.I am just so weak I can not go into it all right now.May God Bless You!Faye
For everyone reading this, please go over to Faye’s blog (comment above) and lift her up tonight! She needs us, friends.
peace~elaine
Beautiful post, Elaine. Wrestling with God is SUCH a blessing. I’m looking forward to checking out Laura’s blog. Thank you.
Loved this, Elaine…in keeping with where the Lord’s had me this week – in the moment.
Hugs to you sweet friend,
Melinda
Many a night I've worn that same wrestling mantle. It's rarely gone on easy, but I find the more I've wrestled, the more I love the wrestling, and the mantle. I am undone, and then I'm done up again.
You crafted another quintessential Elaine piece. I'd know it, AND you anywhere!
Hugs & blessings,
Kathleen
Thanks for the reminder to “be in the moment” and see God in everything!
Late hours and early hours are when He gets my full attention. They are the times I can hear him the clearest.
Beautiful post.
…and I’m thrilled about winning your giveaway. I sent you my address via email.
God has opened up an entire new realm between me and Him – since I have been paying attention to HIM in everything. His communication with me is so real – so blessed – so personal – all because I now hear Him and see Him and listen for His voice because I’m paying attention.
This was a blessing to read.
Choosing JOY,
Stephanie
[JESUS – the One I Worship]
Hey Mrs. Elaine:)
Praise the Lord for your encouraging post here and on my blog! I want to be able to hear Him speak like that-to be still and know that He is God…
Blessings:)
katiegfromtennessee
I’m missing much of life right now myself. Missing moments while grasping at memories. Caught up in worry and fear.
Looking for Him in my moment,
Joy
Oh, Elaine. You bless me on so many levels! I often think the same of your writing: such amazing attention to detail! You listen to Him, my friend.
And you inspire me.
Thank you for your sweet words. They mean so much coming from you.
And the book! Thank you so much! I am so excited to read more from Alicia. I will send my snail in the morning.
love to you…
laura
When we live surrendered lives moment by moment, we can’t help but pay attention to the details, ’cause we know He’s allowed it, He’s brought it, and we can ‘work out our salvation’ as we see Him in the details.
It’s a lesson I slowly learn. And I appreciate it in Laura too, and you, and so many others…
God bless you this night..
Sita
I loved this so much that I linked you for my own post today!
It is the hunger in my heart to see the sacred in my daily moments. I know that I miss too much. Laura is a special one, isn’t she. You both bring such insight to my days.
Shalom,
Denise
That was very inspiring it definitely makes me want to seek Him until I find Him today.
Boy your post hit something in me this morning. Those times in the night with Him are precious.I could often kick myself for no having a pad and pen by the bed when His thoughts start coming. I always wonder if I have missed something..maybe a piece of the puzzle that He wants to give those who are willing to tarry. But He is faithful…and He knows my heart. 🙂
Thanks so much for doing this giveaway..how cool that I won! I guess God has a word for me that won’t be coming in the night. 😉 I will look forward to reading this and experiencing the read you have already had. Love ya girl
Elaine, the Lord seems to be telling me lately, also, to pay attention to Him. The verse that I picked out to Meditate on with the Beth Moore blog siestas for the first two weeks of May is “BE STILL, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” Ps 46: 10
Sometimes I am too busy….sometimes with “busy-ness” itself…to just sit still and KNOW that HE IS GOD! I’m trying to remedy that and take time to just be STILL.
I always so much enjoy your posts Elaine! God has blessed you with a great command of the English language. And of the language of love.
God bless you!
Marilyn
wifeforthejourney:
This post makes me think about our Revival speaker at church on Sunday, an active duty chaplain from Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. Chaplain Humphrey has helped me to search this morning for the Lord’s presence like the blind man sought the Lord. Even those of us who have been following the Lord for a long time still need to call out to Jesus – to ask for His eyes to see the world.
I need to “pay attention” to see were the Lord is at work in my life today and every day.
Thanks for the good word!
Love,
Billy
I, too, love finding God in the details of life. And also loved your prayer again, Elaine. So many times your prayers express something that really strikes a chord with me. God’s blessings to you, my friend!
Father, I humbly bow on my face before YOU in awe of YOUR power & might to lead our lives. Even when we don't know You're doing it Father. Thank YOU for leading me to Elaine's blog and thank You for using Elaine to reach out & touch our hearts Father God. In Jesus' name, amen.
Elaine,
I loved this post because I find it is the reason I don’t blog more. I’m trying to focus, meditate, see God in everything. My processing is slow and not blog worthy (in my perfectionist mind…I’m working on this). Thank you for your thoughts and words to the process you’ve had with a conversation with our Loving God! Maybe I will post a journal entry of my ramblings.
I will take a look at Faye’s blog now and pray!
Love David Crowder. That song is one of my favorites.
Feeling like I’m withering away under a mountain of the mundane, your post challenges me to pay attention, yes, but to also remember that God is glorified in the ordinary, simple offering yielded with a humble heart set on Him…
I so enjoyed this song and your blog today. I think I cry a lot because I see and know God in so many moments that it makes my heart weep with joy to know His presence.
She, Laura, is a beautiful lady. Your post affects me that way. I needed this reminder to live in the day and be looking for Him more diligently.
In His Graces~Pamela
I loved your description of Laura. It reminds me of some things I was reading today about becoming a better poet…
Like being willing to bend to those noises and to pay homage to the moment.
Elaine, I loved your account of your restless night – makes me think of Jacob in the desert. I had a sleepless night on Sunday, wrestling with grief. You are such a great comfort to me; I thank God that His plans for our lives have intersected so beautifully. Blessings to you and yours this week.
Elaine, your restless night resonated with me. I’ve had a few myself. And, many of my own began with thoughts of my cyber-sisters, which is what I call my cherished fellow sisters in Christ, whom I’ve never met “in real life” but whom I know only in cyberspace. (I can’t wait to spend eternity of with all of you!!)
I am sadly reflecting on the numerous Scriptures throughout the Old and New Testaments, which record the continual failures of those who neglected to “pay attention”. Sigh.
Hebrews 2:1 is really resonating within me: “We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.”I pray that your sleep is sweet tonight. 🙂
Intentional living… not just going through the motions…