For my mother…who taught me how to find my silence.
Jadon, 2000 
Those were her exact words, scribbled as a forever remembrance on the pages of my ninth grade yearbook. My English teacher had penned me accurately. The spoken word has never been my struggle. Much like my father, I am comfortable with giving my voice a frequent stage.
It is the silence that begs my embrace. Those moments in life when less is more and words are few. I have spent the better part of forty years taming my “comfortable and frequent” with the language of an uncomfortable tongue. Necessity requires my participation, for what is sometimes most necessary is a quiet that ponders rather than a loud that preaches.
Enter Jane. The woman who taught me…who continues to teach me…how to find my silence.
elaine, 1966
My mother’s volume of words pales in comparison to that of my father’s. The contrast between my two parents is striking. My dad writes the books, while my mother edits his words. My dad sings the melody, while my mother voices her subtle tones of harmony. My dad tells the jokes, while my mother offers her laughter. It is a strange blending, his voice and her silence. But they are my blend, and for nearly fifty years, they have found a measured peace between their extremes.
I once asked my mother about their differences…about how two people with such opposing personalities find a lifetime’s balance. Her words were few, but painted a vivid portrait.
“When I married your dad, he was looking for a stage, and I was content to be his audience.”
My mother has been that audience for him. For my sister. For me and for my children. She sits in the shadows, at peace with the shade, all the while pondering our better. Never once has she defaulted in her privilege to parent. She simply fleshes out that privilege with a gentler embrace. She reminds me of another mother. A mother whose quiet surrender to parenting would cost her the tenderest tears of her heart.
Her name was Mary, and her heart was Jesus.
Who can fathom the depths of her mothering? Who can adequately script the sacred silence of her life’s pause? We are given but a glimpse of the road that carried her weight, but the few words that chronicle her place in history paint a vivid portrait and have much to teach us about raising faith.
Mary was favored for Jesus. (Luke 1:28).
Mary was troubled by Jesus. (Luke 1:29).
Mary asked questions about this Jesus. (Luke 1:34).
Mary accepted her Jesus. (Luke 1:38).
Mary comforted the family of her Jesus. (Luke 1:39).
Mary sang the praises of her Jesus. (Luke 1:46-55).
Mary traveled with her Jesus for nine months. (Luke 2:4-5).
Mary birthed her Jesus. (Luke 2:7).
Mary wrapped her Jesus. (Luke 2:7).
Mary treasured her Jesus. (Luke 2:19, 51).
Mary pondered her Jesus. (Luke 2:19).
Mary presented her Jesus. (Luke 2:22).
Mary worried about her Jesus. (Luke 2:48).
Mary searched for her Jesus. (Luke 2:48).
Mary celebrated with her Jesus. (John 2:1-2).
Mary introduced her Jesus. (John 2:2-5).
Mary sought her Jesus. (Luke 8:19).
Mary walked with her Jesus. (John 19:25).
Mary surrendered her Jesus. (John 19:30).
Mary continued toward her Jesus. (Acts 1:14).
Mary lived a life within the shadows of her Jesus. He was her stage, and she was his audience. His shade was her harbor, and his voice was her peace. Pondering and treasuring would be her heart’s silence, while preaching and dying would be his heart’s shout. And somewhere between the extremes of quiet and words, grace breathed its first breath…
“It is finished.”
Silence is indeed, golden, when silence harbors the seed of forever.
My mother harbors those seeds. For all of the times when her words are warranted…are justified for the voicing…my mother often keeps her silence. She lingers in her pause and cradles her pondering with a gentle and tender touch. She knows that her words hold power…for blessing or for cursing. Thus, she is careful with her voice.
For all of the reasons that I love my dad, I venture to say that my life would be a complete train wreck without my mother. She has been the balance to my life’s propensity for the edge. She has been the quiet to calm my raging seas. She has been my celebrator when others forgot to come to the party. She has been my comfort when others left me to cry alone.
She birthed me. She wrapped me. She treasured and she pondered me. She presented me to her Jesus, and she worried and searched for me when I journeyed my prodigal road. She walked with me to Calvary, and she shed her tears with my surrender. She continues her steps toward me because forty-two years ago, she realized that the favor of God rested upon her womb, and she accepted his gift as her sacred privilege.
My mother has pilgrimed through this life with few words, and yet her silence has been the soil that has seeded my saving. Raising Faith through the posture of a quiet and gentle heart has been her “comfortable and her frequent.” It has not been mine, as I seek to raise a generation of faith, but it is a posture that I am learning…a posture that is sometimes required for the breathing of seeds and for the growing of grace. And so I pray…
Teach me the patience of silence, Father, so that I can better hear your voice. Show me the necessity of a pondered quiet as it relates to the best interest of my children. Bring balance to my voice—strength for the light of the stage…strength for the shade of the audience. Let my words breathe golden because of their seeding within the silence of Calvary’s pause. Thank you for giving me parents who have taught me how to speak your language…through words and through quiet. Who can fathom of the depths of your wisdom?! Amen.
Copyright © May 2008 – Elaine Olsen. All rights reserved
May your find your balance this weekend between words and silence. Sacred seed can sow generously in both soils. God gives the wisdom for the planting. How is he teaching you in either direction? Shalom!
wifeforthejourney:
The wit and wisdom of your mother has seasoned your life and been such a blessing to our whole family. Thank you for this light hearted but worthy tribute to the faith and life that your mother has given you.
Jane continues to keep us all grounded and encouraged. Thanks for taking this time to remind us all of the under-appreciated value of silence.
Love,
~ Billy
Oh, a life long goal for me, to be more like your mother!!
…the wise measure their words. (Prov 10:19 The message)
What a wonderful compliment your parents are indeed♥
What a beautiful contrast your parents are to one another.
“For all of the times when her words are warranted…are justified for the voicing…my mother often keeps her silence. She lingers in her pause and cradles her pondering with a gentle and tender touch. She knows that her words hold power…for blessing or for cursing. Thus, she is careful with her voice.”
How I want more of that quiet wisdom…to understand the power of my words. What a lovely parallel you draw between your Mom & Mary. Truly a lovely tribute.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
As you adjust to the summer schedule and settle into your new routine, I understand I’ll be hearing less of your voice. Please know that does not mean you will be absent from my prayers. I’m very excited for you about the special times you’ll have with your kids in the next couple of months and also about your attendance at She Speaks! = )
Be blessed,
Tracy
Elaine, what a beautiful tribute to your mother! And what a great reminder to us all that we should choose our words carefully….because once said they can never be taken back.
Thanks!
Marilyn in MS
No wonder you have a writing instinct!
By the way … how do you suppose you got so many pictures that could easily be overlayed, simply change the child, change the year?
Wonderful!
What an absolutely beautiful post. We readers have been blessed through your blessing.
You have reminded me of James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak…”
Thanks for calling me to ponder the treasure of silence.
Being still and knowing that He is God,
Joy
Whoops. I had a big error in my last post…so here is what I meant to say:
Hey girl,
Counting down the days til we’ll all be together. Thanks for stopping by to say hello and being such an encouragement to me these past few weeks as I prepare for She Speaks and overcome my doubts. It was such doubt-buster to know that so many are struggling with the same thoughts. The evil one is working overtime to discourage us but he’s been exposed.
Although he didn’t cause all the hard things I have been working through, he knows I am an open target for doubt and discouragement when I am tired, overwhelmed and facing a giant I wasn’t ready to fight.
But Jesus has taught me so much in the past 72 hours. He came and rescued me with His peace and joy this weekend.
Loving your “Raising Faith” series, girl. So curious about what type of book you are proposing at She Speaks. You have so many great topics. Would love to hear about it when I see you.
Hugs,
Renee
Elaine, your words are ones every mother everywhere would cherish though very few could claim. Your mother is exceptional and deeply appreciated by us for herself as well as for giving birth to you.
Love,
R&B
Finding my balance this weekend is silence…
Having met both your parents, I can see both of them in you. Although I must say neither one of us are without some words or thoughts most of the time. You are a beautiful person inside and out and you are your parents’ daughter. I am so honored to call you “friend”. Love you!
Regarding the Lego adventure…I will keep you in my prayers. :} I hope I haven’t somehow ruined your summer! It should be hours of fun anyway!
🙂
What a heritage your parents patterned for you to pattern on to your own children.
A long list of “wishes” for me concerning my own parents. I praise God that my Mom accepted Christ one week before He came to take her HOME. I praise God that He has a hold of me, using me to point my Mom to Him, and that I’m the first in my family except a “Granny” that strives for a relationship with My Jesus. And as a Grandmother myself, I plan on showing this to my grandchldren. A pattern….of new beginnings in our families.
Love,
Yolanda
Love you mother! We could all learn from her. Maybe your dad should write a book about her for us!
Powerful. I’ve been thinking a lot about Psalm 65:1 recently, “Silence is praise to you…God.”
How true. I need a little more Be Still moments.
Thank you for this.
How, Beautiful, Elaine! Oh, how I need to learn this lesson, and you’ve portrayed it so eloquently. I am the one that needs the stage, and I so long to be content with being the audience. It’s like fighting a raging current sometimes. God is teaching me, but it is sometimes painful.
Beautiful, touching and thought provoking as always!
Blessings and hugs,
Liz
P.S. I have about a gazillion legos looking for a good home. Know anyone who’d be interested?
Elaine:
I so enjoyed reading the posts on your Mother and Father “Raising Faith”. What a sweet tribute.
Isn’t it wonderful how God puts opposites together to gain balance?
Blessings,
Marita
I just read your last two posts. How fun to read of your father’s words and mother’s silence. Such neat analogies and contrasts. 🙂 So many lessons to be learned from each one. You are very blessed! 🙂
Thank you for this. It was absolutely beautiful!
What a beautiful post once again! I missed your thoughts while I was away. Thank you for your sweet words to me.
I look forward to catching up on your posts.
I absolutely love this quote from your mother.
“When I married your dad, he was looking for a stage, and I was content to be his audience.” 🙂
Have a lovely rest of this day, Elaine!
God Bless,
Amy:)
What a beautiful tribute to your mom. She seems like a wise woman! I missed having that growing up, so I glean my wisdom from sharing others experiences with their moms, like you. Thanks for sharing.
See you at She Speaks!
As to be expected…powerful friend!! What a tresure, this concept of silence. What a beautiful posting on your mom. I hope my girls will one day do the same. What an honor!!
In His Graces~Pamela
Your mother – my mother in law. Two women who are extremely similar in the type of men they married and how they live out their lives.
I am a woman of words too. Too many words I am sure. But as I grow, I am learning when to speak up and when to keep silent. I used to speak up at times when I probably shouldn’t have, and kept silent when the Lord wanted me to shout! I pray as I grow in faith I follow His prompting as to when to keep silent!
It’s a perfect day for me to catch up w/ your writing!