“Mommy, that movie breaks my heart.”
“Why?”
“Because it was so wonderful.”
“Why was it so wonderful?”
“Because in the end, the king lets her make music.”
“Say that again, Amelia, so mommy can remember it for always.”
Because in the end, the king lets her make music.
This was the conversation I had with my daughter last night after she had finished watching The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning. I meant to watch it with her, but a lengthy phone conversation took me away from the moment. Several moments to be exact. When my daughter came to me with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face, I was puzzled by her odd blend of emotions. But then I recognized her look. It is one I’ve worn over the years. Sadness and joy all mixed up within the welling of a wet that now poured down her cheeks.
Her emotions seem an odd coupling to those who have never known the glorious wonderful of a heart’s break. But I have tasted such a portion, for I have known a great loss only to be surprised in the end, by a great wonderful.
A great grace.
Atlantica, the magical waters of mermaids and talking sea creatures, had lost its capacity to sing. Not because it didn’t hold a melody within its waters, but rather because a tragic death had beat its drum upon her shores. Loudly and profoundly it marched, sending song’s breath to a watery grave buried deep within the unseen sands of an untouched grief.
Pain does that. It buries. It may burst forth in all manner of wild expressions at the time of sorrow, but it almost always finds a way to, at least temporarily, suspend the song. When death of any kind marches its cadence upon the soil of our souls, it buries. It digs deep and cries hard and grasps for fragments of control that don’t allow music its voice. At least not in the moment.
But here’s the truth of the eternal song. Once the music has made its way into a heart, no amount of casting aside and crying and denying its pulse can keep it buried forever. We can go to the grave refusing it a voice, but in the end, the music remains. It will find its chorus, even without our participation because the King’s music is meant to be sung.
Not long ago, there was a woman who longed to sing. Full of sin, yet full of a needful search, she took to the road to find her song. For a long season it had been submerged within her sands of an untouched grief. Almost forgotten. Almost buried beyond retrieval. Almost too hard and too painful of a reckoning. Almost.
But there was something about this Jesus that struck a chord deep within her. Remote and distant at first, but stirring nonetheless. A stirring worthy of an offering. A stirring worthy of her heart’s break. A stirring worthy of her tear-stained kisses and her hair’s gentle caress. A stirring worthy of her walk of shame before men and, at last, before her Savior.
A stirring worthy of the search because in the end, the King allowed her the glorious wonderful of a heart’s break.
He gave her his music.
“Then Jesus said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven. … Your faith has saved you; go in peace.’” (Luke 8:48-50).
I know the woman. I’ve seen her before. Not just on the pages of scripture, but written upon the pages of my own heart.
God has allowed me the glorious wonderful of a heart’s break. The surrender was painful, and indeed, my heart was shattered in a thousand pieces and scattered throughout the sands of a sinful disobedience. The brokenness seemed irretrievable, most certainly too deep and too hidden for discovery. And when God’s music had all but diminished to a faint whisper within me, I almost gave way to despair—to neglecting the single chord that held as my anchor despite my disregard for his presence.
But then I heard that Jesus was in town, and the chord within chorused its precision amidst my chaos. I was compelled to get to his feet. The closer I moved toward him, the louder the melody within. And once I saw him, the chasm that existed between my great need and his great wonderful was palpable and strong, truthful and tender. I knelt in tearful surrender and was surprised by the gracious and great grace from the King who has been letting me make his music ever since.
A sinner. Her King. A surrender. His music.
The glorious wonderful of a heart’s break.
May it be so for each one of us this day, and so I pray…
Make your music, Father, sing through me. Those notes that you seeded in my heart so long ago, play them as you will and weave them into your eternal chorus with a blending that breathes sweet in the ear and with a grace the harbors gently within the soul. Thank you for the gift a difficult journey and for the season that turned me inside out, allowing me a hard reckoning with the truth of Calvary’s gift. You have turned, for me, my mourning into dancing, and for the rest of my earthly days, I commit my voice to the song of your renown. Amen.
Copyright © August 2008 – Elaine Olsen. All rights reserved.
Oh Elaine…balm to my spirit. A reminder of a song long-buried in my daughter’s heart – buried, but not forever silenced.
Thank you my friend,
Melinda
Elaine, your words flow with a rhythm like a gently flowing stream into a heart that had been disconnected (buried) for so long because ‘too much’ had happened in a relatively short space of time that caused a shut-down. Thank God the music never died. The memories remained and beckoned to me so often.
And you will be pleased to hear, that music began to play again this week. Parts of me that made me me came to life again this week and I felt alive once again. It will be a process of resurrection,I know. But it has started. Has your prayer made a difference? Can I ask you to keep on praying?
With gratitude to you for the heavenly music you share…
Sita
Sita…and others…
The depths to which I’ve traveled with the enemy and with Jesus has been a wide and deep expanse. Perhaps, making my heart particularly tender for those in a dark place. And while I don’t wish for anyone to walk this chasm between dark and Light, it has afforded me a great thankfulness for the grace of Calvary. For that, I will always find my knees in gratitude and on behalf of others…especially those like you who’ve been so candid in your struggles and in your requests.
May all of our hearts be so inclined with the “passion” of our Christ who hung on our behalf so that we could forever and eternally walk with his music in our souls.
Tend to the Chord, Sita. He’s only just begun to blend your harmony with his. I hear its melody even now. It sings across a country’s borders and into my heart tonight.
Praise God for the work he is doing in your life even now.
Keep singing!
peace~elaine
Having just experience a passing of a loved on last week your words were a comfort. I also have to share with you that those are some of my most precious memories. Those tender but heart true statements that spring forth from our children’s mouths when they are little, well there simply is nothing sweeter. We loose that honest simplicity sometimes as we grow older. What a precious memory you will have for always!
Isn’t it interesting how God uses the things around us… even Disney movies to draw us closer to Him. I, too, am a woman who loves much because I have been forgiven much. Blessings, Elaine!
Elaine, this is just beautiful. I too, have had the wonderful experience of having a broken heart in His glorious hands.
Only the KING can take something broken and restore it’s music.
Elaine, God paints such beautiful pictures through your heart and fingertips…your words soothe a raging storm because they carry Jesus’ love and compassion…and they speak truth.
Continue making your music…i’ll be listening!
” … in the end, the music remains.”
Amen!
It’s been many years ago now, but durig the mid-to-late 1980s I fell headlong into the darkness, shoved there by life’s circumstances dejour. I wept. I grew thin. I ached from head to toe. I despaired (even of life), and I was absoutely certain there would never again be light in my dark abode.
But, “in the end” as you say, the singing returned. In fact, it was because of that darkness and the depths of despair it brought, that an entirely new song was born. I love to sing it still!
Kathleen
Oh my, what a wonderful, wonderful, WONderful post. Your daughter’s words gave me chill bumps in the beginning and then they just got larger as I continued to read. I cannot even tell you how thankful I am that the King saved me from all my brokenness. That song is one of my favs too, because it always reminds me how through my wretched childhood, he was holding me close and protecting me. Today, instead of being identified as a victim, I am identified as a daughter of the King. Beautiful, worshipful post.
This is so beautiful. I too have been in the Valley, and I know the “glorious wonderful” that has no worldly explanation. Thank you for painting such a wonderful portrait. I will bookmark this one and return to it for sure.
Elaine:)
This was good for me to read, because I just recently went through this painful process. But, God was healing me all along. I know that He is the One who gives me joy and will keep me as His very own.
Love in CHRIST,
katiegfromtennessee
How good that you are offering an outlet for pain! A friend of mine once said, “It is unwise to stuff your pain inside. If you do, one day it will make your insides feel like a crock full of sour kraut.”
R.
Oh, what an incredible message full of encouragement.
My daughter is watching this movie at this very moment–you’ve given me a little lesson to share 🙂 Bless you, my friend.
As always, a beautiful post and wonderful comments of those blessed by your writing.
As I read the post about the music,I thought of the Gaither song
“You ask me why my heart keeps singing
Why I can sing when things go wrong.
But since I’ve found the source of music
I just can’t help it. God gave the song.
Come walk with me thru fields and forests.
We’ll climb the hills and still hear that song.
For even hills resound with music.
They just can’t help it. God gave the song.
What’s that I hear – I still hear that music
Day after day. that song goes on.
For once you know the source of music
You’ll always hear it. God gave the song.”
Satan tries to kill the song, hide it, or smother it, but regardless of what happens. . . . that song finds its way out again because God gave the song!
mary
How beautifully expressed, Elaine!
Praise God that “… weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5).
Precious Father, “Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” (Psalm 90:14)!
Elaine,
Your words of encouragement, are a drop of water on my parched soul. I know that God speaks through you to me, and I love Him for that, and for your obedience to share what is placed on your heart. I love that both you and I, along with others, understand the road that was opened for us because of the women that walked towards Jesus.
Lord, yes, please let Your songs be heard through us. Amen.
I love ya Friend,
Yolanda
Elaine-I am in a lot of pain today. I knew if I came here you would comfort me and give me the hope I need by trying to hang on to the hope I have in Chirst in my situation. I know of the darkness that breaks one and today I must re-live it and still pay its price. I am looking for my “cord”, the harmony that will help my family truly blend and heal. I need your prayers.
Thank you. Again, you write so beautifully friend.
“A sinner. Her King. A surrender. His music.”
Stunning. This post is stunning.
The moment I read your daughter’s words I knew this was going to be good.
Oh that I would sing to the glory of the King.
Once again you stun me with amazing words that fill those lonely spots aching to be heard! As much as I hate to admit it, I too am thankful for the heartbreak. It has allowed me to know the real heart of Christ.
Elaine,
I have been meaning to get back to you regarding your sweet comments. Thanks for the bible-study info. I am looking into things nearby me. I am grateful to people like yourself that are more than willing to share such valuable information. Thanks so much. Btw, I enjoyed this post.
Amy
Having a degree in music, this post speaks the language of my heart. As a friend encouraged me not that long ago when the melody over my life was wandering into unwanted keys, with dissonant harmonies, all music is not written in the major keys. Minor chords are part of His compostion – adding depth and richness not found in easily sung tunes.
I had the same reaction to a movie the other night. I was crying so deeply I couldn’t speak and could barely breathe. It was a story of redemption and my heart thrilled with the “Glorious Wonderful of a Heart’s Break”.
The Divine Composer is orchestrating such beautiful rhapsody’s here on your blog.
Play on,
Joy
So beautiful…I love to hear the wisdom that springs from the heart of our children! What a precious child she must be!
We had a movie experience this weekend too. Oh, my, how I love a good story! But it was my little boy who comforted me when the story turned sad. They are so perceptive.
Thank you for sharing your story…
I once laid on my face asking the Lord to help me live through the night as I did not want to see the day light….. then durning the day I would pray that HE take my life as I did not want to endure the night…….. I was broken…. Now many years latter HE has given me song………….
Blessings
I have walked many a season with a broken heart… but yes, there is a glorious wonderful that comes from a heart break… a song once stifled due to pain breaks forth in glorious melody that is orchestrated by my Lord!
There have been times in my life when I have sung louder than others. Usually the loudest when the pain eases and the truth begins to shine through. During the pain….I know the song is still there….just silenced by the groaning.
I would say that at this time the song is pretty silent as I look on times and realize that there were more pains stuffed than healed.
But, the song will rise again…how can I remain silent for long when I know how much He loves me?
so….where did you find that photo of me as a teen in my home state?? 🙂
You make me so grateful that we’re friends….beautiful words, dear Elaine.
Wonderful post Elaine. For the first thirty years of my life I lived in the darkness of depression. When God and I worked through it all and I was finally at a place to receive healing…something amazing happened…He filled my heart with song! A song that I could sing because for the first time in my life I felt alive!! I love when He refreshes my memory of reflecting on how far we’ve came….and the song is sung again!
So heart touching Elaine!! The words, the smooth way you tied in all of the facets of your subjects, the song at the end… So wonderful! Thank you for opening your heart once again!