It’s the newest “chore” added to the already growing list of chores divided up amongst the six of us who live beneath this roof. And since two of the six are rarely around, “mom-walking” usually falls to one of the other three. Last night, the task fell to Jadon, a duty in which he is more than willing to comply.
Jadon is a mover… literally. He’s not a sit-still kind of young man. Instead, his energy is constantly on display and in need of harnessing in a good and right direction. Before my surgery, Jadon would occasionally run with me, outpacing me on most occasions. As a mother who runs, it delights my heart to think that, perhaps, one of my children will share a similar affinity for the discipline. That maybe, he and I… down the road… might share in some mother-son jogs, thus allowing us the quality time together we both need and desire. But until I heal… we’ll walk.
It gives Jadon some responsibility in this new mess we’ve come to know as cancer. Cancer isn’t a single-person disease. It affects everyone within arm’s reach. Accordingly, Jadon needs a way to help me… to contribute, and since bathing is not at the top of his priority list (both for himself and for me), I gladly assign him the responsibility of “walking me.” I need not worry about a lag in conversation, because my son’s need for talking far exceeds his needing for moving. This boy can fill a pause with words. (For the record, we’re all talkers, but that’s another post for another day.) Last night proved to be no different.
From the moment our feet hit the pavement, he began with a lengthy discourse about guns. Donned in cowboy hat and gear, Jadon decorated our walk with talk about WWII machinery, his cowboy holsters, one of the latest “picks” from The American Pickers which included a training gun for soldiers. On and on he went for the first lap which morphed into a second conversation for the second lap. A conversation about sex.
I’ll spare you the details, but safe to say, any question is fair game at our house. It’s just how we roll, and in the course of another half mile, we covered genetics, dna, sex within the boundaries of marriage, ovaries and eggs, why he had “two” instead of “one,” his progression from baths to showers… on and on with barely a moment to breathe in between. As we finally rounded our last bend in the road, he looked at me with all the tenderness and kindness of a young boy in a rush for his manhood to arrive and uttered some words I won’t soon forget. He said them the Jadon way—using words that aren’t exactly what we’re used to hearing, but words that, nevertheless, give way to perfect understanding.
“I’m coming along pretty fast, Mom. Soon I’ll be as tall as you.”
Coming along pretty fast.
I don’t suppose I have to tell you what he meant. Jadon is growing up, and he knows it. He sees it… not just in his body, but in his thinking. And while his academics will always lag behind the work of his peers, even there I see growth. He’s not the boy he used to be; instead, he’s becoming the young man he was born to be. Ten years have come and gone like a flash, leaving me with a similar thought in my heart this day.
Life is coming along pretty fast.
Not just for Jadon, but for all of my children. Not just for my children, but for me as well. One day soon, we’ll all be grown up… will have reached full maturity and a season when we can look at the world from a “taller” perspective. From a place of deeper understanding and less confusion; a place of more answers and less questions.
We’re not there yet, but we can be certain that until we arrive at that “taller” moment, we’ve got a Father who is willing to entreat the burning questions of our souls. A Father who is willing to walk us around the block, to hold our hands while crossing the street, and to patiently listen as we search for the right words to connect the dots between our “here and now” and our “there and then.” And we’ll be glad for the discipline. For the walking beside him, talking to him, being with him, looking up at him, knowing that because of the time spent together, we’re closer now to resembling him then in the moments preceding our corporate time of togetherness.
That’s what happens on a walk with someone we love.
We’re shaped. We’re changed. We’re inched along in our maturing because we’ve allowed our feet and our hearts to connect along the foot path and heart of another person, and when that happens, our lives are forever altered. Perhaps not in a way that can be quickly quantified, but in less subtle ways that collect and gather over time to make a formative change in the way we view life… do life.
Life is coming along pretty fast. And if we’re not careful to notice its advent, we’ll miss some of the glorious moments that serve as our precursors to fullness. Like Jadon, we may long for our next big leap of maturity; like Jadon, however, most of us forget that that leap won’t happen until some personal steps of faith are taken beneath the watchful gaze and care of a parent’s love… a Father’s love.
It’s a walk I’m taking today. A walk around the block with my Daddy. And I don’t imagine there will be much pause in conversation. I’ve got a lot of words in me, a lot of questions as well. Mostly, I just want to be with him. I want a few moments with Jesus to call my own where other distractions are kept at bay and where I can have him all to myself. Really, I think it is what all children crave… a time of meaningful dialogue between them and their Father.
Life is coming along pretty fast, friends. Better catch a walk with Jesus while you still can so that he can better shape you for his eternity. And should you have a slot open on your schedule where you can come by and “walk me,” then all the more. I love doing life with you! As always…
Priceless!
Love,
R&B
This is beautiful Elaine. What a precious moments with your son! He sounds like a delight!:)
Praying for your healing time… one thing that recovery brings is lots of time with Jesus. I learned that when I had surgery 2 years ago… it made that time so sweet. For those weeks life wasn't coming along so fast… for once! 🙂
I always look forward to my quiet time with the LORD, my Father in Heaven. I always look forward to my walk with you here. Praise the LORD for such a great post. Amen!
Honey, sometimes you just leave me speechless! So much richness stirring around in my soul, without words to describe it! A supplement to my already rich devotion time this morning!
Big hugs!!! You bless us all so much!!!
I had to drive an hour this morning in the country to put out a "fire" at one of the facilities we serve. I so enjoyed my "drive with God". We shared my dreams, tried to aline them up to His dreams for me, and I voiced my utter dependence on Him to make it happen. It was so peacefuly and beautiful!!
Your children are so lucky to have you for a mom Elaine!!
Still praying each day for you and yours!!
Believing Him~Pamela
Beautiful moments to cherish. this is your "stopping to smell the roses" stage of your life and God is blessing you with sweet smelling blessings for sure.
So glad your back. Your posts always bring a smile to my face and encourgement for my day.
Continued prayers as you continue to heal.
Beautiful and SO profound as always. Praying for you daily, my dear friend. Thank you for your testimony, and for continuing to bless me.
Absolutely beautiful, Elaine!!!
You are such a blessing!
Continuing to lift you and your family before the Throne of Grace!
HE IS FAITHFUL!!
Hugs and Love!
Jackie
Precious – heartfelt post – as usual! Your words filled my senses with every emtion I have within me!
Love you, Stephanie
You are a gift!
Thank you, Elaine.
This post was like taking a walk with you – a walk with the Lord. Life does indeed "come along pretty fast." And your words were very encouraging!!
GOD BLESS!
A precious, precious moment in time… yes, life comes along pretty fast. How did I get to be 45 already? (grin). Thank you for sharing a tender story of you and your son… of you and our Father.
Dear one, This was such a beautiful post Elaine, such a good lesson for us to keep at the forefront of our minds and spirits.
Hugs and prayers today.
Noreen
I'm walking it too. My scenery is a bit different than yours, Elaine, but He has me walking toward another jump in maturity.
Leah
And I with you, Elaine.
Holy hugs and prayer, kt
Lately, it is breaking my heart that I am not a mommy.. I never really saw it coming like that..but, you dear cousin, give me strength for the journey~~ God Bless You!!
with love,
Carol Lynn
LOVE this post…I can just picture the two of you having that conversation!
Bo and I had one summer of walking together. It was the year before he got his license. Those were precious times…treasured times with a son who had passed me up in height several years before!
Life IS coming along pretty fast. I'm so glad that Jesus is walking beside me every step of the way.
Love you…
Oh, Elaine, I didn't know you were battling cancer! I'm so sorry to hear that. But your writing is still so courageous and brave, and your words are still going into the hearts and lives of your friends (in the real world and here). I have always hated my what-nots. I'd always say "I wish I could cut these things off! They just get in the way." But I guess it's one thing to not want something just because it's there, and quite another to be forced to choose as a matter of life and death. You chose life. I'm so glad. I'll be praying for you, my dear sister in Christ…
Such an encouraging post! I remember similar talks with my son when he was just a boy. He's now grown…and it came pretty fast. Every day is a special day to cherish with our families and with our Lord.
Thank you for sharing your heart, Elaine.
Living for Him, Joan
Yes, time is swiftly passing by. Sometimes I think about how short the 57 years I've already lived seems! And I wonder how it'll be when I come to my last day in this earthly realm. And what it will be like to take my first glimpse of heaven. I think I'll just give a "sigh" and be so glad to finally be Home.
Loving hearing how you're getting better bit by bit Elaine!
God bless….
Marilyn…in Mississippi
Loved sharing a walk with you and your son! Praying…
Susan
Kinda like Jaydon, I've been thinking about life in the fast lane,too.
Have had to adjust my pace and my priorities.
Praying for you, sweet friend.
Sweet dreams.
felt like I was walking with you – precious memories. You are coming along fast! God bless you and your family, Elaine.
Patrina <")>><
What tender & beautiful moments to cherish with your Jadon. ; ) So glad you shared them with us.
Can I just echo Shirley? You and your writing leave me speechless and usually hunting a box of kleenex. I just love you and your family!
Hugs!
Susan
What a beautiful and precious post Elaine! Your words are so rich and full of love and wisdom.
Our boys sounds exactly alike. My Jantzen would discuss those very things :)I also think he would be the first in line to help his momma as well! It is such a blessing to have children who desire to help and care for us when we are in need isn't it! You have such a wonderful family.
I can see the Lord shining ever so brightly in and through you and blessing all who hear! Thank you Elaine for sharing HIs love, HIs wisdom and His Grace with us ….You inspire me as usual!!!
Beautiful post! We all do crave time and conversation with our Daddy!! I pray this finds you feeling well. I love the privilege of walking with you here and praying for you.
Reminds me of the verse in Hebrews where we walk by faith and not by sight…I'm enjoying your book by the way.
Your surgery didn't remove any of the skill and insight with which you write! It has only increased the pool of experience from which you draw. Keep using it all to the glory of God!
OH Elaine, If I lived on the east coast I would be honored to 'walk you' and to share in conversation about all of lifes' mysteries!
Continuing to pray for you and your precious family from the west coast!
I can't think of anything to add to what's already been written…so I'll just say…thanks for allowing me to tag along on this walk…
I love the thought, Elaine, of walking and talking with Jesus. Sometimes I like to imagine Him right next to me, holding my hand. Now I can add the image of us walking together.
Wish I could come and walk you one day 🙂 Love & Prayers still headed your way!
So sweet Elaine!
Wish I could encourage you more!
You are a doll!
BIG HUGS!!
Just stopping by to tell you that I had you on my mind today and praying for you, Elaine!
HE IS FAITHFUL!!
Love and Hugs! : ))
Jackie
Elaine I am praying for you. I want you to know that….
katiegfromtennessee
This is BEAUTIFUL!! And Life is coming along pretty fast…. I was talking about that today with a friend at work.
Dear Elaine, what a wonderful word picture. I drive Christopher to and from school everyday. Just the two of us. And we have the most amazing conversations. And I try to make the most of the time because I know he's coming along pretty fast.
Glad to know that I'll never be too grown up to talk to my heavenly Father.
Praying for you!
You have such precious children Elaine. But then, they've had you mothering them; how could it be otherwise?
Many prayers for you friend. Thanks for allowing us to follow this journey with you.
Mary
Elaine,
What an amazing post. I cried tears of understanding and joy for your precious son while reading it. Wow!
Elaine…your friend Laura suggested your blog to me as a great blog to share with my readers as a place to come for encouragement…I came to visit you and I am blown away! Your journey is so powerful…
I am sharing your blog and a little of your story on my blog today. I wasn't sure how to contact you so I am telling you in this comment. May God bless you! I have been praying for you and your family as you live this part of your journey. Christ's presence is such a real part of your writing, your story, your lives I am touched to the core. Thank you for sharing your story!
http://maryjoy-lifemoments.blogspot.com/2010/09/fridays-on-line-encouragement-blog-tour.html
Elaine,
It is me you old neighbor, Marcia Murphy. In 2005 I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. My cancer was staged at IiiA like yours. I had surgery and 28 radiation treatments. In 2006 I had a recurrence in my lungs and my life expectancy was 16 months. I entered a clinical trial and had 11rounds of chemotherapy. I am here 4 years later!!
I will say that this journey is all about God's Grace. There were good days and not so good days. My Jesus held my hand all way through. It made me understand that He prepared me for a time such as this…His love,..His Word, loving Christian family and friends, inspired books and journals, "angels with skin on", 791 freshmen students who were able to reach inside themselves an find compassion for their ailing teacher as she attempted to teach the movie making,..and so many more blessings. As I review my journey I realize that every time I cried He sent Angels and blessings to lift me up. When I had a need it was filled, often before I knew I needed it.
My dear Elaine, I read your journal and see myself and looking back I am so appreciative of "His Amazing Grace". I will continue in prayer for you and yours confident that our God has prepared you too for a time such as this. He never said life would be easy. He did say that we could never be separated from His Love.
In our Lord's love,
Marcia
I spent my "extra days" helping others and people on the same journey. Please feel free to call me. You are never far from my thoughts.
Beautiful, priceless and precious.
I love you and I'm praying for you and your whole family dear friend.
This actually might be the most beautiful blog post I've ever read. You are amazing, and it is because you are fully devoted to an amazing God. Your son's statement showed incredible insight. I know you are reveling in this intimacy you have with Jesus that always seems sweeter in times of suffering, and I know you are savoring every moment of that in spite of the circumstances. Praying for you and yours, and believing…