“Sure bet you’re glad to be back home.”
Nicholas squirmed for a gracious response.
“Yes, sir. It’s good to be home.”
Even as he spoke it, I felt the painful cut that seared his heart with more clarified precision than that of a sharpened knife. The words weren’t intended to hurt, but they did. They reminded my son of everything he’s been trying to process since returning home from Bolivia.
If home is where the heart is, then my son’s home (at least for the “right now”) resides somewhere in the remote mountainous village of Tacachia, Bolivia. He spent the better part of a week walking its soil and tending to its harvest–a harvest that exceeded the fruit of the land to include the fruit of relationships.
The Kory Wawanaka Children’s Home (an orphanage sustained through the Methodist Church of Bolivia) houses nineteen orphaned children, ranging in ages from three to thirteen. When Nick first visited their community last year, the orphanage had four residents. Newly licensed for operation, the home has experienced strong growth in every way during the past twelve months.
It was especially meaningful for Nick to witness the growth of the past year. The “pulse” behind the work there is strong and evident, stirring his heart for further involvement.
“I want to go back, mom. And not just for a week. I want to stay longer next time.”
Next time.
My heart can barely get around these past “two times.” Still and yet, I listened to him pour his heart out over cheeseburgers and fries during a mother and son outing. I knew it was coming, this unwrapping of his feelings. Even as his emotions welled with the “telling”, mine welled with the listening.
God is moving Nick’s heart in a new direction. The shaping that’s taking place is what I’ve prayed for his entire life. In fact, I’ve prayed that prayer for all of my children over the years.
That they would, each one, know early on in their lives what God would have for them. That they would walk in their calling in their twenties rather than waiting until their forties to figure it all out. That they wouldn’t spend their days wondering about what they were supposed to be doing but rather would spend them knowing that whatever they were doing, they were doing so with an eternal purpose in mind. A kingdom purpose.
That they would find God, sense God, believe God, and know God in the everyday and mundane of a life that doesn’t always make sense but that is content to walk hand in hand with One who possesses perfect sense and understanding for the road ahead.
That they would listen to the promptings of God’s Spirit within and not brush it off as a momentary whim or selfish fancy. That they would, in fact, trust in the truth they’ve been given as children of the Most High God. A truth that tells them God is living and active and moving on their behalf and that because of this “constant working” they shouldn’t be surprised when he shows up on the scene of their lives, prompting them to keep in step with his leading.
God is faithfully answering those prayers for Nick. I heard it in his words and saw it in his eyes as we shared a table and bared our hearts to one another. And while Nick has always imagined his life to be headed in a certain direction, God is asking him to imagine bigger. To dream better; to see beyond his raw capabilities and to, instead, take hold of his sacredly bestowed giftings.
That kind of living, friends, is where it’s at. God has planted his own seeds of promise within our lives. When we begin to see those seeds harvest toward kingdom gain, then our hearts, like my son’s, welcome the growth of a new soil. In fact, our souls can’t help but cry out for it. For the untilled lands of an untouched country that is completely and “holy” surrendered to the idea of God’s unlimited possibilities.
As we connect with that kind of “heart-stirring”—when we begin to see our lives framed within the context of a greater good rather than within the parameters we’ve so carefully and comfortably created for ourselves—then we walk our part in the Great Commission. We walk our callings; no matter the location; no matter our age; no matter if we have the credentials or the education to go alongside.
We simply and profoundly walk our faith with all the confidence of heaven as our guide. We don’t worry about the particulars. The details belong to God. But the steps?
Well, they are ours to journey, whether here or abroad. When walked with the Creator, every step moves us closer to him … to heaven, where the final proclamation of our earthly life will resound in perfect unison with perfect wisdom…
“Yes Sir, it’s good to be home.”
No tears; no pain; no more wondering about our callings. Just rest for our hearts in the place where they were always intended to land.
Home.
By the grace of God I’ll get there; by his grace so will Nick, so will my other children. So will you. Thus, I pray…
Thank you, Father, for meeting us in this day. For showing up on foreign soil to till our hearts for kingdom purpose. For allowing us the “wrestling” of some things that further shape our understanding about how you intend for our lives to live. Give us the courage to “work the thing out” before you, with you, depending on you so that because of you, we come to a greater place of obedience to you. Use our pain to teach us Father, even when it hurts and our preferences call out for its burial. Meet us in those deep places; stir us all the more, and keep us to the pilgrimage of a final grace that will walk us home and welcome us fully. Amen.
Elaine…
I pray you and your family are enjoying your time in the mountains. What a heart for the Lord your son has! I am thankful he has parents that worked w/ God and helped guide his path. Ah yes, to figure it out in our 20's rather than our 40's. Of course his path may be different when he turns 40!
I too love the mountains! The Rocky Mountains have a little piece of my heart. I remember the first time I went how God spoke to me in such a huge way, that the chains of a stronghold loosened and fell to the ground! A line from John Denver's Rocky Mountain High always reminds me of that moment "Coming Home to a place he'd never been before…" Those words also ring true to my ears when we finally get out crown in heaven… "coming home to a place we've never been before." That's the ulitmate destination of our journey.
I simply loved reading this post, hearing about your son and the way God is leading him.
Though it must be difficult for you to see him going "out" – oh, the joy your heart must feel at knowing your boy is following God!
And now, do you want to encourage me???
Please tell me that when your son was a teen/pre-teen you had days when you were at your wits' end with him, when you wondered if he was going to make it to adulthood because you feared you might pop his head off before he made it that far!
And then assure me that God has His hand on my children, too.
Please?
*grin*
This mother's heart tracked well here … It's familiar soil, though for me it's the soil trod many long years ago. My once-fledglings have long flown, and my heart has found (at last) a sense of freedom in releasing them.
How proud you must be; and how grateful too. For your beloved son to arrived at young manhood with so crystal clear a desire to serve the Lord in this way is no doubt born of answered prayer.
Blessings & peace … for the journey.
Kathleen
BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN!!!!
I love this post. Shows the true heart of a Mom. We long for our children to really know God and serve him, but we just want them close to us, don't we?
I can't imagine what that is like…..yet to have one going to far away places to do just that.
Blessings Elaine! Are you in the mountains near me? =)
You can come hang out at our VBS if you want to (wink wink!)
In HIM –
Mindy
This is a heartwarming message. Nick is an inspiration and a joy to us all!
R&B
We hope your "mountain adventure" is a delight to each one of you.
Elaine,
This has been my prayer for my boys, too. My heart joins with yours as we watch our children continue to "…grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."
I posted the blessing letter (written for our high school graduate) this week. You'll have to check it out when you return from the mountains.
BTW…I LIVE in the mountains, girl! You could've visited me AND had your mountaintop experience all in one trip 🙂
Love,
Beth
god always uses his mountains for very special moments…and i pray you have them with Him and your family while you are there
absolutely loved your words in this post…going to print it to read to my accountability group this week. you've wonderfully captured the heart of a mother for her children's kingdom realizations 🙂
This is so beautiful, and it expresses my heart's longing.
Unfortunately, my boys care for nothing more meaningful then video games. It breaks my heart…
I've tried to instill deeper things, but I can't compete with the flash and glitz and excitement of illusion. And when only one parent feels that way, and the other likes the electronic babysitter…
Oh how we need to pray for our children!
It can be so hard to be a mom, but it is also a blessing. It is hard to let our "babies" grow up and leave, but it is wonderful to see them following the Lord.
Thank you for sharing your heart.
Wow – Can you believe it? My daugher, Melissa, has been in Santa Cruz, Bolivia since May 25th. SHe is due to be back in the States on Thursday. Her heart is there too, Elaine. She is so sad to be coming home, she has a real burden for the people there.
She went over spring break and just had to go back. She has been there 4 weeks now and I am sure that she will go back when she can.
I look forward to reading about your son's trip.
Much love, Beth
"Home is where the heart is", and that means whether here or there we are home when we are with Him.
Growing up, I had some dreams…even some God dreams…but my Mom was not like you…she couldn't let go and I allowed the manipulation and guilt placed upon me to curb my obedience. She could not let go. I abandoned the calling.
Lessons learned have changed me as a mother. Although I know the releasing is difficult, and distance can claim my son's physical presence from me, my one desire is that he will live in the center of God's will, wherever that might take him.
Elaine, thanks for this encouragement. I know the Lord can more than fill the emptiness that wants to keep me holding on.
Love & hugs,
Joy
PS. Have a blessed holiday my friend.
What a beautiful prayer for your children. You said it perfectly for all mothers – to find the path God has for you when you're in your twenties is such a great blessing. I pray for my own children, though they are past their twenties, that wherever they are God is guiding their steps. blessings, marlene
"showing up on foreign soil to till our hearts for kingdom purpose". That is so "it"!! What a blessing you have in and through your son.
In His Graces~Pamela
Elaine,
That picture looks like my beloved Blue Ridge Mountains–home to me.
I so wish that I had walked closer to Jesus sooner and likewise discovered my calling earlier. But, thankfully I now am walking in that calling.
God bless Nick and God bless you, dear Elaine.
Leah
What a wonderful son you have … such a heart for God! You are truly blessed -thank you so much for sharing this. I will be praying for both of you!
Elaine – there is nothing better stated than your few words:
"for kingdom purposes"……….
All that we are as believers in Jesus Christ – all that we will ever be – is a child of the Most High – willing to return His love and to serve Him with our lives.
I love when God gets a hold of a young person [early in life] and makes Himself known to them.
I felt the same way as Nick when I came back from my Mexico Missions trip last fall. They have nothing – they are so poor – yet they love God and give of themselves so freely. They share and care for one another and praise with open hearts. Even the language barrier did not hold back our common praise and worship of the Father!
Blessings upon Nick as he returns to Bolivia at some point. God is working there and Nick is privileged to join Him in that work!
Choosing JOY,
Stephanie
[JESUS – the One I Worship]
I'm so glad he's home for you but glad he is figuring out where his real home might be some day. I know you are extremely proud of him as I would be too. What a blessing to see our children grow up and serve the Lord.
This stirs in me my hopes and prayers for my own children…for myself. What a blessing to see that long-uttered prayer come to fruition before your very eyes and pour its hope onto the soil of your soul.
Blessings on you both,
Melinda
Elaine,
I do hope you are all enjoying your vacation and time together. I have often prayed this same prayer for my children as well. I do hope that they allow God to take them wherever it is that he wants them to be doing what he would want them to do. That they do it with the love of our Lord and with passion and joy!
Praise God!
I bet you are one proud mama. What a blessing! (Love the way you tied our home in heaven into this post!)
Have a wonderful vacation!
You are so wise to pray that way for your children. I didn't know to pray like that. My children are in their twenties now, and I am learning to pray that they will fall head over heels in love with Jesus and that He will reveal His purpose for their lives to them. That's the desire of my heart.
I'm trying to get past those comfortable parameters aka comfort zone that you discuss.
I'm not a strong swimmer. Afraid of the water. Refuse to jump off the diving board without my rubber duckie. But you know what? I want to "ride the river wild with Him."
You have inspired me!
Hope you enjoy the mountains.
How incredible!! Your prayer did stir my heart!!
Elaine, What a wonderful son you have. God has blessed you so!
Enjoy your time away in the mountains! Take it all in and breathe. God is good!
Christy
The picture of the mountains is beautiful Elaine. I pray your respite is refreshing.
I so hear your mother's heart in this post. It seems the Lord is loosening my apron strings as well. I look forward to hearing Nick's thoughts from his trip. My heart echos your prayer.
Blessings to you!
I hope that y'all are having a wonderful time! Give the little ones hugs for me!!! Found any good pottery bargains?? Heehee!
Elaine, this post tugs on my Mama heartstrings right along with yours! But, Praise Him…as you said, they are listening to God and following in faith in their 20's–not their 40's!! Wow! Can't wait to talk to you when you get home!
Hugs,
Susan
As a mother, my heart is stirred and so thankful for God's precious gift to you, dear friend. The Lord has awesome plans for your son!
My very soul is touched by the depth of God's faithfulness to us and our children. That He hears and honors our prayers! He is a loving God!
Thank you for the pictures of my beautiful mountains! Well, I do not have a deed for them, but have always loved them so! Many, many sweet memories for me there!
God bless you on your trip. Enjoy the fresh air and soak in the majesty of it all!
Andrea
The desire of this mother's heart: to see a passion for serving the Lord stirring in the hearts and lives of my children. Thank you for this beautiful testimony.
You brought me to tears. I can feel your heart here, and your son's. This is becoming my prayer as well. Thank you. Enjoy the mountains.
This post brings tears to my eyes. Praise God for the incredible way He's working in Nick's heart! How this answered prayer must thrill (yet somewhat break) yours. His amazing passion and direction at such a tender age indeed suggests big things…what a gift. Praying with you for God's continuing work…in Nick's life and ALL your children; praying God's complete grace for you and Billy whereever that might lead.
I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth…