Tonight I have a clearer picture of importunate persuasion. The artist behind the portrait painted in my honor today?
My nine-year-old son.
He’s worn me down with his relentless persistence—a troublesomely, urgent determination that has brought me to my breaking point, to my tears and my surrender. This is not unfamiliar ground between us. Jadon is a single-minded boy who holds onto a thought until said thought is hammered duly into the consciousness of those within earshot. His ADHD diagnosis is partly to blame. Him being nine also shares some responsibility. And the rest of it?
Well, he’s human and being human carries with it a bent toward carnality. Each one of us is born with that tendency. Regardless of a doctor’s diagnosis or a hormonal stage of growth, when we cut through the peripheral rest of it, what we’re left with is our humanity. And sometimes, humanity is a tough pill to swallow, especially if you’re on the receiving end of its poke and prod.
Today, I’ve been poked, prodded, and needled by my child. And while we’ve ended on the upswing (bedside prayers do wonders for a troubled spirit), my heart’s desire is that we could live this day over and do it better. There were things about it that weren’t in keeping with my pursuit of personal holiness. I don’t much linger in those regrets, but I do allow myself a good pondering along those lines. And as I flesh out my contemplation this night before God, I am reminded that for the many ways that my child has “gotten under my skin” today, there is grace enough to cover it all. For you see…
There have been times in my life when I’ve “gotten under the skin” of my Father. Deeply under. So much so that my relentless persistence of my humanity brought him to his breaking point—a moment of tears and blood and the surrender of his will upon a tree.
Love led him there. Love kept him there. Love still speaks from there. He speaks to me tonight, reminding me that the parent/child relationship will always be filled with moments of tension… moments of figuring out who’s in charge and who knows best. Moments when boundaries are pushed, questions are asked, and wills are forged. Without the strain, further maturity is at risk. In testing the waters, children hope to find the security of a parent’s answer. Kids need to understand that some borders are certain, are fixed and unwavering… not to punish them, but rather to protect them.
My son has pushed for those borders today; in turn, I’ve given them to him. Getting there wasn’t “picture perfect” but resting within their certainty tonight is a comfortable closing for two weary soldiers who’ve fought determinedly for the high ground.
Importunate persuasion. Keeping at something until something is gained. And while my son didn’t recevie the “gain” that he was initially after, his relentless persistence has earned him something far greater.
Understanding about who’s in charge and who knows best. Something tells me this will serve him better in the long run. Something tells me this will serve me better as well—remembering Who’s in charge and Who knows best. Even so, keep me to understanding this night, precious Lord. As always…
peace for the journey,
PS: On a lighter note, Jadon doesn’t fall too far from the family tree. His eldest brother sent me to my knees and my tears time and again in his younger years. I called him today (he’s now a junior in college), just to remind myself that strong-willed children can and do, in fact, grow up to be productive members of society. Thanks, Nick, for making my heart smile.
Hugs, Sweetie! Big hugs.
I don't want to even know how many times I've gotten under my Father's skin… Praise Him for grace upon grace…
You have such a beautiful mother's heart! 🙂
Shew…I totally understand those kind of days with our boys. Going through a time with one of mine right now.
It's difficult to think about bringing my Father to the breaking point…and yet, He loves me. Through all my mess, He loves me.
Great post, Elaine.
Love you,
Beth
With one of my girls, I felt like I was riding a bucking bronco most of the time. I well remember how exhausting it was to outlast her, even hanging on through tears at times. But it's oh so worth it in the long run. Hang on, Elaine!
By the way, what a cute pic of your boy 🙂
I am so going to miss you all and all the fun "parenting" chit chats we get to have. You are such a great mom. I had a field trip today with my youngest. We had a great time. I had to watch mine and two others. WOW! But fun!
I know that I must frequently get "under my Father's skin" with my humanness, and grieve His spirit. I am so thankful His love is unconditional. I try to remember that when even my adult son, at times, gets under my skin!
I had to smile at this story as so many of us have had those kind of days. I liked the analogy you drew though and you made my thoughts wander to how I've gotten under God's skin so many times in the last few years:) A good good post!
I had one of those moments with the Lord last night when He asked me to be go somewhere I didn't want to go and do something I didn't want to do. But in the end He actually had a surprise waiting there for me and I never had to say a word.
Love this flip side of the coin in this post!
PS: I finally posted the fish story on the Sea of Galilee! That whole day was for you Elaine. I pray that one day you will also go there and sail with Jesus on the lake.
Choosing JOY, Stephanie
Sigh. Smile. Sleep.
Elaine, you said: "Love led him there. Love kept him there. Love still speaks from there. He speaks to me tonight, reminding me that the parent/child relationship will always be filled with moments of tension… moments of figuring out who’s in charge and who knows best. Moments when boundaries are pushed, questions are asked, and wills are forged. Without the strain, further maturity is at risk. In testing the waters, children hope to find the security of a parent’s answer. Kids need to understand that some borders are certain, are fixed and unwavering… not to punish them, but rather to protect them."
Yes, God's love is awesome. My post today kind of in a puzzle manner, fits with your post. Praise the LORD for HIS love and protection. In Jesus' name, amen.
precious. i love the pic, too!! he's adorable!
As the mother of a child, for whom Dobson wrote every book for, you are in my prayers. Motherhood is tough sometimes. But then I remember, like you said, how many times I have led God on a merry chase. Sometimes being the child and letting go of control is the hardest job of all.
prayers and blessings…he is too cute!
Elaine:
I immediately forwarded this to my daughter of 3 girls! She will LOVE what you've expressed. And for me… the memories of those days are still plenty alive! Each day was full of its own tests… if it wasn't child #1… it was child #2 or 3… all through the years. And in the whole mix, was the deep joy of being their mom and loving them through it, even as God kept loving me through the stumbles, falls and victories of being 'their mom'…
Beautiful precious words!
Love you,
Sonja
I hear you. I mean, I REALLY, really hear you tonight, Elaine.
I've been there — with my girls AND with God.
Oh…Elaine,
I know a bit of that…as do every parent. And yes..as you said it well, we too do get sometimes under God's skin. As our children grow and learn, we also grow and learn in our Father's kingdom. Be at peace.
Love and hugs,
Gladwell
Elaine,
Thank you for sharing your heart…
I lingered on this for a moment:
"There have been times in my life when I’ve “gotten under the skin” of my Father. Deeply under. So much so that my relentless persistence of my humanity brought him to his breaking point—a moment of tears and blood and the surrender of his will upon a tree."
Love you friend.
My son, now twenty-nine, was like this. I despaired of him making it to adulthood in one piece. LOL!
Thanks to the Lord's grace, he is now a responsible, caring and respectful young man.
Whew!
Looks like you're raising a little warrior there! One that knows what he's after! That can be really nerve-wracking on Mama's though! I've been there…done that! Our middle child, John, was always into something! When he joined the Marine Corps and came home from Boot Camp after 3 months I wondered if they had sent the wrong boy home! He went to church with us and never moved a muscle during the whole service! No kidding! The first time I had EVER seen him sit still with jiggling his knee, or just figiting someway or another. I could not keep my eyes off him sitting there still as could be! ha He's 31 now and last Sunday night he sang a special at his church and got a standing ovation after it was over. Hang in there Elaine! Pay day is coming!
Love you!
Marilyn…in Mississippi
I know this well! Praying for grace to abound in your mommy's heart.
Oh so many times, I have felt every emotion that you seem to be feeling here. But, I loved this, "some borders are certain, are fixed and unwavering… not to punish them, but rather to protect them." Remembering that helps to get through what sometimes seems unbearable. 🙂 Thank God for His grace and His mercy!
Oh the days… when I was grateful to God that I could go to bed and wake up to new mercies in the morning.
A few weeks back I sat in the middle of the floor and cried. Not one, but THREE, strong and willful children. Why me God I cried. And the words I heard were "why not you". You were once a strong willed child and look at how you understand these children I have blessed you with.
I often sit in a heap of tears and prayers and seeing my 20 year old daughter who was by far the most challenging I am so blessed to know He chose me to parent that child, and that one, and that one over there.
You are a terrific mama and your heart is real with the emotions of raising that kid, only one year older than my Ethan.
He knows we are strong women, even when we sit in the middle of the floor and cry. I love you and appreicate how real you are with your heart.
Elaine, you're an amazing mom, and live out your faith before your kids! It's always an awesome testimony!
God is so patient with me. I know I must drive him crazy with my if's, and's, and but's and when's and how's. However, he remains faithful, even when I have my carnal days and moments that leave me feeling less than worthy.
And, for the record, I guess that's part of my "fleshing out" my faith. If I were the perfect soul, I wouldn't need the Lord so desperately.
Love you, friend!
Andrea
As so many of your friends have said, I, too, have been there. Replayed the days with my beautiful children, seeking God's grace so that, through Him, I might parent better the next time. Asking my child's forgiveness for my impatience.
My kids are now 18 and 20 and I still need God's grace–realize I will always need God's grace and direction in parenting them.
What a wonderful photograph and story…sometimes I don't see how children this age can talk as much as they do, but then I realize that there will come a day when I would do anything to hear them ask me all those endless questions. Childhood goes by fast…days do not sometimes… but the whole event of childhood is so fleeting.
wifeforthejourney:
Ahhh the familar territory of our little boy. Jadon is nothing if not persistent and though we both share the burden of his pit-bull-like grip on a moment's thought, he is no pit bull.
God bless our sweet boy, he is strong willed but also strong of heart. If I can harness his desire over little things and channel it into my prayer life this morning – its going to be a good day!
Love you for all you do, and for all the love you have for the family gun-slinger!
~ Billy